About Futacy : If you're here because you didn't like a comment, goodbye. *waits*
Now that they're gone... I like to think of FML as a list of sketch comedy show scripts based off of true stories: usually funny, unexpected, and totally unrelatable.
One more thing! Please, for your own sake, don't sumit a, "last week, i-- fml :P." It's annoying and a waste of time. If you want to see yours get published, submit a, "Today, I -- . FML" Make sure it's correctly punctuated with correct spelling and grammar. That's all, you can keep surfing those profiles.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, a car hit me while I was in a crosswalk. The driver jumped out of her car and stepped over me to check her car for damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32948) - you deserved it (2028)
On 06/15/2011 at 1:07am - health - by Username - United States (California)
Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30016) - you deserved it (10460)
On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, like every other day this past week at Bonnaroo, I've been placing my belongings in the cubbyhole inside the portapotties as I use. Today, I also learned that those "cubbyholes" are urinals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6992) - you deserved it (44089)
On 06/14/2011 at 8:07pm - misc - by Savannah (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27103) - you deserved it (3201)
On 06/13/2011 at 10:24am - kids - by Evaki1 - Greece (Attiki)
Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40999) - you deserved it (4219)
On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)
Today, I saw my brother on TV after 3 years of no contact. He was being arrested on Cops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37978) - you deserved it (2767)
On 06/11/2011 at 8:54pm - misc - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34463) - you deserved it (4547)
On 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by Mom (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48843) - you deserved it (6332)
On 06/11/2011 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22762) - you deserved it (5593)
On 06/10/2011 at 8:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I'm trying to come up with a plausible explanation for my co-workers as to why I have stitches in my face. I'm not sure I want to admit that I was clawed by a pigeon as I opened my garage door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22257) - you deserved it (2620) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 06/10/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonyme - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25425) - you deserved it (9386)
On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33281) - you deserved it (3327)
On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26724) - you deserved it (9089)
On 06/10/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by henry feingold - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30070) - you deserved it (6066)
On 06/07/2011 at 8:13pm - work - by Bee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML
I agree, your life sucks (31953) - you deserved it (8161)
On 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Punk (man) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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