About Futacy : Licking doorknobs is illegal in other planets. And apparently in Washington, DC as well. You'll be ask to leave the White House.
Futacy's FML badges
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Futacy's favorite FMLs
by alo1434 / 06/23/2011 at 4:54am / United States (Illinois) / Money
by knevs / 06/22/2011 at 4:05pm / United States (Illinois) / Money
by fmlguy382 / 06/22/2011 at 4:13am / United States / Intimacy
by Username / 06/20/2011 at 11:57am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Ben / 06/18/2011 at 11:34am / United States (California) / Kids
by screwed / 06/18/2011 at 4:51am / United States / Love
Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML
by callie / 06/18/2011 at 2:08am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
by Hank Gummyworm / 06/16/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Michigan) / Work
by crushed dreams / 06/16/2011 at 2:20am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went to a concert with my boyfriend. I was repeatedly ass-grabbed, grinded on and hit on by guys. My boyfriend's response was, "As long as they continue to bring you free beer, let them get a little feel of what they are paying for." FML
by unknown / 06/15/2011 at 6:20am / United States (California) / Love
by James64138 / 06/15/2011 at 6:13am / United States / Intimacy
by Username / 06/15/2011 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML
by Username / 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy
Today, like every other day this past week at Bonnaroo, I've been placing my belongings in the cubbyhole inside the portapotties as I use. Today, I also learned that those "cubbyholes" are urinals. FML
by Savannah / 06/14/2011 at 8:07pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by Evaki1 / 06/13/2011 at 10:24am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, my boyfriend dumped me. One reason was because he couldn't have "intellectual conversations"… Today I went as a chaperone on one of my son's middle school field trips to the beach with the rest… Today, my SO started to lecture me on how caffeine is bad for the baby. I breastfeed our daughter.…