Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Futacy

Offline (the 01/27/2016 at 8:16pm) | Search for a member

Futacy

27Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Boston, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 June 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8187
  • Number of comments : 1180
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 31 posted

About Futacy : Licking doorknobs is illegal in other planets. And apparently in Washington, DC as well. You'll be ask to leave the White House.

Futacy's page activity

Visits<b>nottheuglyfriend</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 9:06pm<b>stangbang92</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 6:12pm<b>SlothCat</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:51pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 9:05pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 8:23pm<b>teentee401</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 7:27am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 1:35am<b>guineagirl96</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 9:17pm<b>aye146</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 3:55pm<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 2:19am<b>mf727hihi</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 7:21am<b>Curls4life</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 4:51am<b>SourPatchTeen</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 10:50pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 8:57pm<b>The_Egy</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 1:53am<b>heroqucas</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 5:59am<b>acidicsmiles</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 12:05am<b>Skycop_S</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 7:29pm

Fucked!<b>nottheuglyfriend</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:06am<b>acp2002</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 4:46am<b>elektra2</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 10:38pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 7:58am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 9:20pm<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 12:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:35am<b>Wolfipoo</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:31pm<b>Mar2171</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:20am<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:44pm<b>patts_</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 6:49pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:21am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:41am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:11pm<b>stoneq11</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 7:40pm<b>emmzy_em</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 7:45pm<b>aldos21</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 6:15am<b>Quantummonkeya</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 11:40pm

Futacy's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Futacy's badges

Futacy's favorite FMLs

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

#16812585
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41719) - you deserved it (3167)

On 06/23/2011 at 4:54am - money - by alo1434 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom sold our electronic stuff to pay for hurricane shutters. We live in Chicago. FML

#16801509
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34026) - you deserved it (2857)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:05pm - money - by knevs - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

#16794914
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50418) - you deserved it (7649)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

#16761961
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49818) - you deserved it (4120)

On 06/20/2011 at 11:57am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

#16727755
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85227) - you deserved it (6923)

On 06/18/2011 at 11:34am - misc - by Ben - United States (California)

Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML

#16725425
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43751) - you deserved it (4789)

On 06/18/2011 at 4:51am - love - by screwed - United States

Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML

#16723796
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36145) - you deserved it (6415)

On 06/18/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by callie - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

#16690191
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37377) - you deserved it (4207)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:37am - work - by Hank Gummyworm - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

#16689937
514 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17604) - you deserved it (234383)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States

Today, I went to a concert with my boyfriend. I was repeatedly ass-grabbed, grinded on and hit on by guys. My boyfriend's response was, "As long as they continue to bring you free beer, let them get a little feel of what they are paying for." FML

#16674026
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43438) - you deserved it (8582)

On 06/15/2011 at 6:20am - misc - by unknown - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a video of him having sex with someone from one of his last relationships because he thought it would turn me on. FML

Today, a car hit me while I was in a crosswalk. The driver jumped out of her car and stepped over me to check her car for damage. FML

#16671124
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42351) - you deserved it (2993)

On 06/15/2011 at 1:07am - health - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40494) - you deserved it (15213)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, like every other day this past week at Bonnaroo, I've been placing my belongings in the cubbyhole inside the portapotties as I use. Today, I also learned that those "cubbyholes" are urinals. FML

#16666197
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9356) - you deserved it (53013)

On 06/14/2011 at 8:07pm - misc - by Savannah (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML

#16642737
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35945) - you deserved it (4449)

On 06/13/2011 at 10:24am - kids - by Evaki1 - Greece (Attiki)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: