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Futacy

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Futacy
  • Town/Country : Maryland, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 June 1998 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 3864
  • Number of comments : 957
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About Futacy : If you're here because you didn't like a comment, goodbye. *waits*

Now that they're gone... I like to think of FML as a list of sketch comedy show scripts based off of true stories: usually funny, unexpected, and totally unrelatable.

One more thing! Please, for your own sake, don't sumit a, "last week, i-- fml :P." It's annoying and a waste of time. If you want to see yours get published, submit a, "Today, I -- . FML" Make sure it's correctly punctuated with correct spelling and grammar. That's all, you can keep surfing those profiles.

Futacy's last visitors

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Futacy's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of Futacy's badges

Futacy's favorite FMLs

Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML

#16848104
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28349) - you deserved it (4571)

On 06/25/2011 at 10:21am - misc - by woahheylex - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

#16847763
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15866) - you deserved it (58087)

On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I walked around for hours with a post-it on my back reading "I JUST HAD SEX!" My boyfriend stuck it on me. FML

#16846296
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34260) - you deserved it (7405)

On 06/25/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by suxx - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML

#16838665
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34570) - you deserved it (3492)

On 06/24/2011 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I couldn't prove my son has had chickenpox, so his school gave us the option of getting a potentially dangerous shot he didn't need, pay for an expensive blood test to show that he previously had the virus, or sign a waiver stating I'm a religious nut refusing medical treatment. FML

#16822119
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23490) - you deserved it (6025)

On 06/23/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by CallMeJesusFreak (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my dad thinks he's famous because he's been on 'Cops', twice. FML

#16814483
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36725) - you deserved it (520)

On 06/23/2011 at 10:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

#16812585
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34910) - you deserved it (2671)

On 06/23/2011 at 4:54am - money - by alo1434 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom sold our electronic stuff to pay for hurricane shutters. We live in Chicago. FML

#16801509
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25378) - you deserved it (1905)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:05pm - money - by knevs - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

#16794914
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44043) - you deserved it (6900)

On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

#16761961
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44342) - you deserved it (3683)

On 06/20/2011 at 11:57am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

#16727755
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74514) - you deserved it (6152)

On 06/18/2011 at 11:34am - misc - by Ben - United States (California)

Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML

#16725425
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34696) - you deserved it (3402)

On 06/18/2011 at 4:51am - love - by screwed - United States

Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML

#16723796
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27472) - you deserved it (4658)

On 06/18/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by callie - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

#16690191
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32378) - you deserved it (3792)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:37am - work - by Hank Gummyworm - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

#16689937
486 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12036) - you deserved it (198592)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States



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