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Offline (the 09/25/2016 at 6:20pm)



  • Town/Country : Boston, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 June 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9259
  • Number of comments : 1194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About Futacy : Licking doorknobs is illegal in other planets. And apparently in Washington, DC as well. You'll be ask to leave the White House.

Futacy's page activity

Visits<b>ananicosia</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 4:23am<b>jasonswife423</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 10:10am<b>LikesRedLollis</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 9:44pm<b>jdonofs</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 12:49pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 7:52pm<b>cuz803</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 12:18pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 5:01am<b>Survii</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 1:18am<b>Comrade9591</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 7:57am<b>bossness125</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 3:17pm<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 5:53pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 1:46pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 12:05pm<b>Spudnik</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 2:12am<b>mysteryman98</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 11:52am<b>thebiteof87</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 7:59pm<b>GoddammitHoward</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 12:20pm<b>Xenolythic</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 12:29am

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 1:52am<b>GoddammitHoward</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 6:21pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 9:39pm<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 9:24pm<b>nottheuglyfriend</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:06am<b>acp2002</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 4:46am<b>elektra2</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 10:38pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 7:58am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 9:20pm<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 12:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:35am<b>Wolfipoo</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:31pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:44pm<b>patts_</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 6:49pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:21am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:41am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:11pm<b>stoneq11</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 7:40pm

Futacy's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Futacy's badges

Futacy's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML

by **(: / 08/09/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting my picture taken. The woman taking it told me to smile, so I did, showing my teeth. She said, "Please, be serious about this." Slightly offended, I smiled with my mouth closed. She then said, "If you can't be serious, we won't do this." FML

by wow / 08/09/2011 at 12:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML

by me / 08/08/2011 at 11:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad suggested that as an alternative to buying me new school clothes that actually fit, I should just join the swim team, lose some weight, and wear my stuff from last year. FML

by swmmr / 08/07/2011 at 3:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that my brakes don't work anymore on my bike. When did I learn this? While speeding down a really steep hill. FML

by ouch / 08/07/2011 at 3:12am / Mexico (Baja California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML

by Tabby / 08/06/2011 at 4:39pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

by lostforwords / 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm / Ireland (Tipperary) / Miscellaneous

Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML

by Username / 07/29/2011 at 7:36pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset so I politely asked where is bathroom was so I could "powder my nose". After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML

by anonymous / 07/16/2011 at 9:18am / Canada / Health

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

by Username / 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm / United States / Health

Today, I was playing my guitar outside my apartment building, and some people had put some money in my guitar case. One guy threw in what I thought was a crumpled piece of paper or something. It was actually a used condom. It leaked all over the money and my case. FML

by gross / 07/14/2011 at 9:09pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

by gir / 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy