Futacy

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Offline (the 12/01/2016 at 6:57am)

Futacy

33Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Boston, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 June 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9446
  • Number of comments : 1194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About Futacy : Licking doorknobs is illegal in other planets. And apparently in Washington, DC as well. You'll be ask to leave the White House.

Futacy's page activity

Visits<b>princesspippers</b> - yesterday at 12:04pm<b>CaitOlivia94</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 12:44pm<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 11/24/2016 at 3:56pm<b>ananicosia</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 4:23am<b>jasonswife423</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 10:10am<b>LikesRedLollis</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 9:44pm<b>jdonofs</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 12:49pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 7:52pm<b>cuz803</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 12:18pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 5:01am<b>Survii</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 1:18am<b>Comrade9591</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 7:57am<b>bossness125</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 3:17pm<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 5:53pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 1:46pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 12:05pm<b>Spudnik</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 2:12am<b>mysteryman98</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 11:52am

Fucked!<b>princesspippers</b> - 20 hours ago<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 1:52am<b>GoddammitHoward</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 6:21pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 9:39pm<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 9:24pm<b>nottheuglyfriend</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:06am<b>acp2002</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 4:46am<b>elektra2</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 10:38pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 7:58am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 9:20pm<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 12:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:35am<b>Wolfipoo</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:31pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:44pm<b>patts_</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 6:49pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:21am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:41am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:11pm

Futacy's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Futacy's badges

Futacy's favorite FMLs

Today, I and a policeman confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

by Stalked / 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I learned the hard way that your little brother is not joking when he threatens to shave your eyebrows if you don't let him watch cartoons. FML

by hairless / 10/08/2011 at 11:53pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML

by backtosquareone / 10/04/2011 at 1:22am / Asia/Pacific Region / Love

Today, my younger brother brought home his new bagpipes. My older brother plays the drums. I'm currently preparing to sit the most important exams of my schooling life. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2011 at 8:52am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML

by Anonymous / 09/17/2011 at 4:17am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Love

Today, my new roommate moved in. It seems that instead of using toilet paper like a normal human being, she instead opts to use the nearest towel in reach. I found this out when I went to dry off with mine after a shower. FML

by poop towel / 09/15/2011 at 3:43pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML

by BlootheBawss / 09/03/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom (Bexley) / Animals

Today, I was dancing with the 4 hottest girls I've ever seen at a club, and I fainted. FML

by gb / 08/18/2011 at 1:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

by candymansvan17 / 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML

by bursteardrums / 08/16/2011 at 11:00am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving into work, a guy cut me off and I yelled some nasty things out of my window at him. He heard me, followed me to work, took a baseball bat out and then chased me into the office. He also smashed my windshield on his way out. FML

by erineilis / 08/16/2011 at 10:22am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

by Stevie / 08/16/2011 at 2:52am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

by Gross... / 08/16/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML

by IRum / 08/11/2011 at 4:45am / Russian Federation / Kids