About Futacy : If you're here because you didn't like a comment, goodbye. *waits*
Now that they're gone... I like to think of FML as a list of sketch comedy show scripts based off of true stories: usually funny, unexpected, and totally unrelatable.
One more thing! Please, for your own sake, don't sumit a, "last week, i-- fml :P." It's annoying and a waste of time. If you want to see yours get published, submit a, "Today, I -- . FML" Make sure it's correctly punctuated with correct spelling and grammar. That's all, you can keep surfing those profiles.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, while driving into work, a guy cut me off and I yelled some nasty things out of my window at him. He heard me, followed me to work, took a baseball bat out and then chased me into the office. He also smashed my windshield on his way out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22913) - you deserved it (10566)
On 08/16/2011 at 10:22am - misc - by erineilis - United States (New York)
Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23625) - you deserved it (2476)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27268) - you deserved it (2047)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21325) - you deserved it (3694)
On 08/11/2011 at 4:45am - kids - by IRum (man) - Russian Federation
Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21880) - you deserved it (10016)
On 08/09/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by **(: - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was getting my picture taken. The woman taking it told me to smile, so I did, showing my teeth. She said, "Please, be serious about this." Slightly offended, I smiled with my mouth closed. She then said, "If you can't be serious, we won't do this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24277) - you deserved it (1935)
On 08/09/2011 at 12:01am - misc - by wow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23665) - you deserved it (5089)
On 08/08/2011 at 11:43pm - misc - by me - United States
Today, my dad suggested that as an alternative to buying me new school clothes that actually fit, I should just join the swim team, lose some weight, and wear my stuff from last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17346) - you deserved it (10880)
On 08/07/2011 at 3:41pm - misc - by swmmr (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I learned that my brakes don't work anymore on my bike. When did I learn this? While speeding down a really steep hill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19677) - you deserved it (4310)
On 08/07/2011 at 3:12am - misc - by ouch (man) - Mexico (Baja California)
Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28579) - you deserved it (2524)
On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17835) - you deserved it (2417)
On 08/06/2011 at 4:39pm - kids - by Tabby (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18508) - you deserved it (5022)
On 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by lostforwords (woman) - Ireland (Tipperary)
Today, my younger brother and I got into a fight over who the favorite child is. My mom overheard, came in the living room and said, "It's your little brother, now shut up." She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28999) - you deserved it (4863)
On 07/29/2011 at 7:36pm - kids - by Username - United States
Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset so I politely asked where is bathroom was so I could "powder my nose". After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29792) - you deserved it (3150)
Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32688) - you deserved it (5410)
On 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm - misc - by Username - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
