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Futacy

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Futacy

22Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Baltimore, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 June 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7710
  • Number of comments : 1172
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 31 posted

About Futacy : Okay first off, I don't really live in Baltimore, I just picked it because this website doesn't let you name your state, which in my case is Maryland. The city I actually live in is called Columbia, and there are 22 other cities in the US with the same name. I counted.

Second, yes, my profile pic is of a mutant two-headed Stewie makeout session. Enjoy.

Futacy's page activity

Visits<b>sarkycow</b> - 6 hours ago<b>imeanwhynot</b> - 11 hours ago<b>nunley2</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 1:13am<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 6:08am<b>Laughatmylife0</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 6:49pm<b>cupcakegirl0424</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 7:08pm<b>alex47625</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 10:36am<b>MYlifeSUCKStots</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 8:52am<b>silkyred</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 6:28am<b>kodyyblue</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:36pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 9:59pm<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 4:51pm<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:35pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:29pm<b>MrPancak3</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:06am<b>DaEpicTaco</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 10:18am<b>OSHH2000</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 9:29am<b>ForkymeetsPorky</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 3:18am

Fucked!<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 12:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:35am<b>Wolfipoo</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:31pm<b>Mar2171</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:20am<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:44pm<b>patts_</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 6:49pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:21am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:41am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:11pm<b>stoneq11</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 7:40pm<b>emmzy_em</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 7:45pm<b>aldos21</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 6:15am<b>Quantummonkeya</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 11:40pm<b>Epickitty58</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 8:09pm<b>JoeyTheJubilent</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 4:23am<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 5:08am<b>platinumbking</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 1:23pm<b>princessluka</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 7:41pm

Futacy's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Futacy's badges

Futacy's favorite FMLs

Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML

#19976445
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5074) - you deserved it (42199)

On 07/22/2012 at 6:45pm - misc - by fmyarse (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML

#19974801
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26276) - you deserved it (2131)

On 07/22/2012 at 12:48pm - misc - by bitchimgay (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boss gave me a warning for "insulting our best customer" after she saw a comment on her customer card saying "stop giving this fat bitch free samples." My boss had written it in the first place, but refuses to either remember or admit it. FML

#19969861
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21575) - you deserved it (1513)

On 07/21/2012 at 6:49pm - work - by fuckdubstep51 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

#19967913
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8411) - you deserved it (18737)

On 07/21/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by dawn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after feeling a little down about myself and looking for comfort from my boyfriend, he told me that my stretch marks make me look like a tiger. FML

#19967634
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23381) - you deserved it (3368)

On 07/21/2012 at 11:08am - love - by marquez_jasmine - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a lady threw a coke bottle at my head because she had a non-winning lottery ticket. FML

#19939674
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27051) - you deserved it (2051)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:51am - work - by kerensa (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML

#19927965
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10205) - you deserved it (29812)

On 07/12/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He decided he would be a gentleman and do this to me at work, over text, during a rush of unsympathetic customers, the day before our anniversary. FML

#19843298
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33630) - you deserved it (2533)

On 06/25/2012 at 3:00am - love - by waaah (woman) - Australia

Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML

#19780908
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25989) - you deserved it (4703)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:08am - misc - by pandora (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

#19576314
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24558) - you deserved it (8308)

On 05/05/2012 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13356) - you deserved it (59511)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed to lose weight. FML

#18329759
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33940) - you deserved it (5906)

On 11/23/2011 at 6:54pm - health - by chunkymonkey (woman) -

Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML

#18321705
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28524) - you deserved it (10575)

On 11/22/2011 at 10:21pm - health - by thunderthighs644 (woman) -

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35822) - you deserved it (3363)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML

#18315280
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30014) - you deserved it (5380)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:22am - health - by ughh (woman) - United States



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