About Futacy : If you're here because you didn't like a comment, goodbye. *waits*
Now that they're gone... I like to think of FML as a list of sketch comedy show scripts based off of true stories: usually funny, unexpected, and totally unrelatable.
One more thing! Please, for your own sake, don't sumit a, "last week, i-- fml :P." It's annoying and a waste of time. If you want to see yours get published, submit a, "Today, I -- . FML" Make sure it's correctly punctuated with correct spelling and grammar. That's all, you can keep surfing those profiles.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed to lose weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25353) - you deserved it (4121)
On 11/23/2011 at 6:54pm - health - by chunkymonkey (woman) -
Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22632) - you deserved it (8149)
On 11/22/2011 at 10:21pm - health - by thunderthighs644 (woman) -
Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27764) - you deserved it (407)
On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24031) - you deserved it (4703)
On 11/22/2011 at 8:22am - health - by ughh (woman) - United States
Today, a policeman and me confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31235) - you deserved it (1618)
On 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm - animals - by Stalked (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I learned the hard way that your little brother is not joking when he threatens to shave your eyebrows if you don't let him watch cartoons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20812) - you deserved it (4638)
On 10/08/2011 at 11:53pm - kids - by hairless - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9776) - you deserved it (27645)
On 10/04/2011 at 1:22am - love - by backtosquareone - Asia/Pacific Region
Today, my younger brother brought home his new bagpipes. My older brother plays the drums. I'm currently preparing to sit the most important exams of my schooling life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18105) - you deserved it (1707)
On 09/30/2011 at 8:52am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13957) - you deserved it (42171)
On 09/17/2011 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, my new roommate moved in. It seems that instead of using toilet paper like a normal human being, she instead opts to use the nearest towel in reach. I found this out when I went to dry off with mine after a shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26427) - you deserved it (1274)
On 09/15/2011 at 3:43pm - misc - by poop towel - United States (Maryland)
Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35466) - you deserved it (2966)
On 09/03/2011 at 12:48am - intimacy - by BlootheBawss - United States (Florida)
Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32068) - you deserved it (2235)
On 08/18/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)
Today, I was dancing with the 4 hottest girls I've ever seen at a club, and I fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25029) - you deserved it (6006)
On 08/18/2011 at 1:18am - health - by gb - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31980) - you deserved it (2002)
On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20255) - you deserved it (7661)
On 08/16/2011 at 11:00am - misc - by bursteardrums (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)
Friday 24 May 2013
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