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  • Town/Country : Boston, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 June 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9282
  • Number of comments : 1194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About Futacy : Licking doorknobs is illegal in other planets. And apparently in Washington, DC as well. You'll be ask to leave the White House.

Futacy's page activity

Visits<b>ananicosia</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 4:23am<b>jasonswife423</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 10:10am<b>LikesRedLollis</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 9:44pm<b>jdonofs</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 12:49pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 7:52pm<b>cuz803</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 12:18pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 5:01am<b>Survii</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 1:18am<b>Comrade9591</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 7:57am<b>bossness125</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 3:17pm<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 5:53pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 1:46pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 12:05pm<b>Spudnik</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 2:12am<b>mysteryman98</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 11:52am<b>thebiteof87</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 7:59pm<b>GoddammitHoward</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 12:20pm<b>Xenolythic</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 12:29am

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 1:52am<b>GoddammitHoward</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 6:21pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 9:39pm<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 9:24pm<b>nottheuglyfriend</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:06am<b>acp2002</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 4:46am<b>elektra2</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 10:38pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 7:58am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 9:20pm<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 12:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:35am<b>Wolfipoo</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:31pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:44pm<b>patts_</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 6:49pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:21am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:41am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:11pm<b>stoneq11</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 7:40pm

Futacy's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Futacy's badges

Futacy's favorite FMLs

Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML

by fmyarse / 07/22/2012 at 6:45pm / United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML

by bitchimgay / 07/22/2012 at 12:48pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss gave me a warning for "insulting our best customer" after she saw a comment on her customer card saying "stop giving this fat bitch free samples." My boss had written it in the first place, but refuses to either remember or admit it. FML

by fuckdubstep51 / 07/21/2012 at 6:49pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

by dawn / 07/21/2012 at 12:24pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, after feeling a little down about myself and looking for comfort from my boyfriend, he told me that my stretch marks make me look like a tiger. FML

by marquez_jasmine / 07/21/2012 at 11:08am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, a lady threw a coke bottle at my head because she had a non-winning lottery ticket. FML

by kerensa / 07/15/2012 at 1:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 12:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He decided he would be a gentleman and do this to me at work, over text, during a rush of unsympathetic customers, the day before our anniversary. FML

by waaah / 06/25/2012 at 3:00am / Australia / Love

Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML

by pandora / 06/13/2012 at 5:08am / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 8:07am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

by Dickhead / 11/25/2011 at 10:02am / Lebanon / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed to lose weight. FML

by chunkymonkey / 11/23/2011 at 6:54pm / Health

Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML

by thunderthighs644 / 11/22/2011 at 10:21pm / Health

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML

by ughh / 11/22/2011 at 8:22am / United States / Health