Futacy

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Futacy

32Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Boston, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 June 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9096
  • Number of comments : 1194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About Futacy : Licking doorknobs is illegal in other planets. And apparently in Washington, DC as well. You'll be ask to leave the White House.

Futacy's page activity

Visits<b>jasonswife423</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 10:10am<b>LikesRedLollis</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 9:44pm<b>jdonofs</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 12:49pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 7:52pm<b>cuz803</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 12:18pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 5:01am<b>Survii</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 1:18am<b>Comrade9591</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 7:57am<b>bossness125</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 3:17pm<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 5:53pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 1:46pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 12:05pm<b>Spudnik</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 2:12am<b>mysteryman98</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 11:52am<b>thebiteof87</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 7:59pm<b>GoddammitHoward</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 12:20pm<b>Xenolythic</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 12:29am<b>joecool86</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 6:21pm

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 1:52am<b>GoddammitHoward</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 6:21pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 9:39pm<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 9:24pm<b>nottheuglyfriend</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:06am<b>acp2002</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 4:46am<b>elektra2</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 10:38pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 7:58am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 9:20pm<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 12:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:35am<b>Wolfipoo</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:31pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:44pm<b>patts_</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 6:49pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:21am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:41am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:11pm<b>stoneq11</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 7:40pm

Futacy's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Futacy's badges

Futacy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have a cold, and was stuck sleeping in bed. My roommate decided to wake me up by sticking headphones in my ears and playing heavy metal on full volume. This is the third time this week. FML

by shadowsorel / 08/30/2012 at 4:34pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML

by chunkymonkey / 08/24/2012 at 9:53am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML

by tal / 08/22/2012 at 5:57am / France / Animals

Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML

by tal / 08/22/2012 at 5:57am / France / Animals

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2012 at 5:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancée showed me her wedding plans. It will be themed on one of her video games, the best man will be dressed as an alien warlord, and the vows talk about how we'll beat the odds and be blessed by the "Goddess Kalahira". Apparently, I have no say in this. FML

by cestquoicebordel?? / 08/14/2012 at 6:50pm / France / Love

Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2012 at 7:03am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a root canal. It wouldn't have been that bad if the dentist hadn't performed it on the wrong tooth. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2012 at 12:13pm / United States / Health

Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw, and the waiters had to call 911. FML

by cherknobil / 07/29/2012 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Health

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 12:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my mom once again commented on how I need to work out. It has come to the point that I now walk around in exercise clothes and have a bottle of water/fake sweat to put on, just so she thinks I work out. This is how lazy I am. FML

by maddiebauer / 07/26/2012 at 10:48am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2012 at 6:42am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I was swimming in my pool with my two sons. A few hours later while on Facebook, I saw that one of them had liked a photo with the caption, "Peeing in a pool, best feeling ever." FML

by poolboy / 07/23/2012 at 12:28am / Kids