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Futacy

Offline (yesterday at 1:46am) | Search for a member

Futacy

22Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Baltimore, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 3 June 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7696
  • Number of comments : 1170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 31 posted

About Futacy : Okay first off, I don't really live in Baltimore, I just picked it because this website doesn't let you name your state, which in my case is Maryland. The city I actually live in is called Columbia, and there are 22 other cities in the US with the same name. I counted.

Second, yes, my profile pic is of a mutant two-headed Stewie makeout session. Enjoy.

Futacy's page activity

Visits<b>nunley2</b> - yesterday at 1:13am<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 6:08am<b>Laughatmylife0</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 6:49pm<b>cupcakegirl0424</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 7:08pm<b>alex47625</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 10:36am<b>MYlifeSUCKStots</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 8:52am<b>silkyred</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 6:28am<b>kodyyblue</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:36pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 9:59pm<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 4:51pm<b>stephenseiber1</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:35pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:29pm<b>MrPancak3</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:06am<b>DaEpicTaco</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 10:18am<b>OSHH2000</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 9:29am<b>ForkymeetsPorky</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 3:18am<b>jiyongie</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 2:40am<b>Hildy93</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:26am

Fucked!<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 12:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:35am<b>Wolfipoo</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:31pm<b>Mar2171</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 1:20am<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:44pm<b>patts_</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 6:49pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:21am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:41am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:11pm<b>stoneq11</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 7:40pm<b>emmzy_em</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 7:45pm<b>aldos21</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 6:15am<b>Quantummonkeya</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 11:40pm<b>Epickitty58</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 8:09pm<b>JoeyTheJubilent</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 4:23am<b>Diarrhea_Volcano</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 5:08am<b>platinumbking</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 1:23pm<b>princessluka</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 7:41pm

Futacy's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Futacy's badges

Futacy's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

#20047830
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34115) - you deserved it (6520)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML

#20039086
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25656) - you deserved it (9686)

On 08/24/2012 at 9:53am - intimacy - by chunkymonkey (woman) - United States

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

#20024799
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7706) - you deserved it (43237)

On 08/16/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancée showed me her wedding plans. It will be themed on one of her video games, the best man will be dressed as an alien warlord, and the vows talk about how we'll beat the odds and be blessed by the "Goddess Kalahira". Apparently, I have no say in this. FML

#20021119
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21812) - you deserved it (5467)

On 08/14/2012 at 6:50pm - love - by cestquoicebordel?? (man) - France

Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML

#20016571
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19009) - you deserved it (10321)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got a root canal. It wouldn't have been that bad if the dentist hadn't performed it on the wrong tooth. FML

#19994415
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28319) - you deserved it (1675)

On 07/31/2012 at 12:13pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw, and the waiters had to call 911. FML

#19990108
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21432) - you deserved it (2304)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:15am - health - by cherknobil (man) - United States (California)

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30558) - you deserved it (2624)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom once again commented on how I need to work out. It has come to the point that I now walk around in exercise clothes and have a bottle of water/fake sweat to put on, just so she thinks I work out. This is how lazy I am. FML

#19985136
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5682) - you deserved it (39859)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:48am - health - by maddiebauer - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML

#19984969
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27757) - you deserved it (2491)

On 07/26/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was swimming in my pool with my two sons. A few hours later while on Facebook, I saw that one of them had liked a photo with the caption, "Peeing in a pool, best feeling ever." FML

#19978741
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21615) - you deserved it (2462)

On 07/23/2012 at 12:28am - kids - by poolboy -

Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML

#19976445
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5074) - you deserved it (42195)

On 07/22/2012 at 6:45pm - misc - by fmyarse (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML

#19974801
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24818) - you deserved it (2022)

On 07/22/2012 at 12:48pm - misc - by bitchimgay (man) - Canada (Quebec)



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