About Futacy : If you're here because you didn't like a comment, goodbye. *waits*
Now that they're gone... I like to think of FML as a list of sketch comedy show scripts based off of true stories: usually funny, unexpected, and totally unrelatable.
One more thing! Please, for your own sake, don't sumit a, "last week, i-- fml :P." It's annoying and a waste of time. If you want to see yours get published, submit a, "Today, I -- . FML" Make sure it's correctly punctuated with correct spelling and grammar. That's all, you can keep surfing those profiles.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, my mom once again commented on how I need to work out. It has come to the point that I now walk around in exercise clothes and have a bottle of water/fake sweat to put on, just so she thinks I work out. This is how lazy I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4082) - you deserved it (33646)
On 07/26/2012 at 10:48am - health - by maddiebauer - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19196) - you deserved it (1510)
Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30156) - you deserved it (6962)
On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was swimming in my pool with my two sons. A few hours later while on Facebook, I saw that one of them had liked a photo with the caption, "Peeing in a pool, best feeling ever." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15384) - you deserved it (1642)
On 07/23/2012 at 12:28am - kids - by poolboy -
Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3722) - you deserved it (35109)
On 07/22/2012 at 6:45pm - misc - by fmyarse (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)
Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18333) - you deserved it (1332)
On 07/22/2012 at 12:48pm - misc - by bitchimgay (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my boss gave me a warning for "insulting our best customer" after she saw a comment on her customer card saying "stop giving this fat bitch free samples." My boss had written it in the first place, but refuses to either remember or admit it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14390) - you deserved it (875)
On 07/21/2012 at 6:49pm - work - by fuckdubstep51 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5571) - you deserved it (10739)
On 07/21/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by dawn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, after feeling a little down about myself and looking for comfort from my boyfriend, he told me that my stretch marks make me look like a tiger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15964) - you deserved it (2207)
On 07/21/2012 at 11:08am - love - by marquez_jasmine - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a lady threw a coke bottle at my head because she had a non-winning lottery ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19049) - you deserved it (1262)
On 07/15/2012 at 1:51am - work - by kerensa (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7221) - you deserved it (18487)
On 07/12/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He decided he would be a gentleman and do this to me at work, over text, during a rush of unsympathetic customers, the day before our anniversary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24504) - you deserved it (1616)
On 06/25/2012 at 3:00am - love - by waaah (woman) - Australia
Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18039) - you deserved it (549)
On 06/13/2012 at 5:08am - misc - by pandora (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14741) - you deserved it (5548)
On 05/05/2012 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Monday 20 May 2013
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