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FML_Whale

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1596
  • Number of comments : 135
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About FML_Whale : Writing "about me's" are not my thing.

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My favorite commenters are;
Perdix
Pleonasm
DocBastard
Gc
Noor
Kyleekay
MITM
Gracehi
ambowew
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DracoSpirita
lilhellian
supportcommand
:)

A round of applause to you, you read my whole profile.

FML_Whale's page activity

Visits<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 12:16pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 8:17pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:46am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 10:58pm<b>heirofhope</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 4:09pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 10:42pm<b>bitch_plz</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 4:00pm<b>kaitlindarby</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 5:28pm<b>thisisntmeokay</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 8:57pm<b>whoracle</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 4:19am<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 4:19pm<b>FalaFala</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 7:29am<b>savannahmckay15</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 7:02pm<b>esmehatespeople</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 2:29pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 7:18am<b>Nordrag</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 5:30am<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 10:34pm<b>domking1315</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 10:29pm

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FML_Whale's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

#20175044
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11265) - you deserved it (23573)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22256) - you deserved it (1517)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML

#20170919
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24437) - you deserved it (8147)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by notAMrs (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

#20170839
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9864) - you deserved it (28366)

On 11/20/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18608) - you deserved it (16229)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML

#20167023
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14451) - you deserved it (22878)

On 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm - kids - by susan (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my crush finally agreed to spend the night with me. I told my parents to act normal for one night. Apparently, "normal" is strutting around naked and acting like a chicken. FML

#20166401
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (5319)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:34am - love - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34173) - you deserved it (3483)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML

#20163899
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23590) - you deserved it (1964)

On 11/15/2012 at 12:48am - love - by B-Rad (man) - United States

Today, the love of my life, and long term partner, sat me down and told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the need to have sex with me, and he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML

#20162862
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31530) - you deserved it (3101)

On 11/14/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by nolove - Australia

Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38728) - you deserved it (2696)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25185) - you deserved it (7535)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

#20158567
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23910) - you deserved it (2472)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:10am - animals - by kitty - Australia

Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML



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Wednesday 13 August 2014

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