FML_Whale

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FML_Whale

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5504
  • Number of comments : 135
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About FML_Whale : Writing "about me's" are not my thing.

(List Grows/Shrinks)
My favorite commenters are;
Perdix
Pleonasm
DocBastard
Gc
Noor
Kyleekay
MITM
Gracehi
ambowew
walmartpaysme
TourettesGuyFTW
DracoSpirita
lilhellian
supportcommand
:)

A round of applause to you, you read my whole profile.

FML_Whale's page activity

Visits<b>magicdust95</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 4:19am<b>Camlin93</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 7:13am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 5:27pm<b>TigranPet</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 1:49am<b>jesswoo</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 7:54pm<b>decoydualist</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 4:49am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 12:21am<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 12:09pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 3:15pm<b>OGCxILLUSION</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:55pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 12:26am<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 3:18pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 6:14pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 12:16pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 8:17pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:46am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 10:58pm

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 11:27pm<b>TigranPet</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 7:49am

FML_Whale's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

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FML_Whale's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

by Jeanna S. / 11/23/2012 at 10:10am / United States / Animals

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE / 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML

by notAMrs / 11/20/2012 at 12:22pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

by Brian / 11/20/2012 at 10:50am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

by crazycatlady / 11/19/2012 at 11:15am / United States / Animals

Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML

by susan / 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, my crush finally agreed to spend the night with me. I told my parents to act normal for one night. Apparently, "normal" is strutting around naked and acting like a chicken. FML

by schooyou101 / 11/17/2012 at 8:34am / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

by thanks, fuckface / 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML

by B-Rad / 11/15/2012 at 12:48am / United States / Love

Today, the love of my life, and long term partner, sat me down and told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the need to have sex with me, and he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML

by nolove / 11/14/2012 at 5:36am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

by Mmkay1515 / 11/12/2012 at 10:47pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

by Heather / 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

by mm / 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Warrington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

by kitty / 11/11/2012 at 5:10am / Australia / Animals

Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML

by SquishFish / 08/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.