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FML_Whale

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FML_Whale

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4022
  • Number of comments : 135
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About FML_Whale : Writing "about me's" are not my thing.

(List Grows/Shrinks)
My favorite commenters are;
Perdix
Pleonasm
DocBastard
Gc
Noor
Kyleekay
MITM
Gracehi
ambowew
walmartpaysme
TourettesGuyFTW
DracoSpirita
lilhellian
supportcommand
:)

A round of applause to you, you read my whole profile.

FML_Whale's page activity

Visits<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 3:15pm<b>OGCxILLUSION</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:55pm<b>bigmike3000</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:51am<b>adamant84</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 12:26am<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 3:18pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 6:14pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 12:16pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 8:17pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:46am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 10:58pm<b>heirofhope</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 4:09pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 10:42pm<b>bitch_plz</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 4:00pm<b>kaitlindarby</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 5:28pm<b>thisisntmeokay</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 8:57pm<b>whoracle</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 4:19am<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 4:19pm

FML_Whale's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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FML_Whale's favorite FMLs

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100386) - you deserved it (11706)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

#20774208
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54117) - you deserved it (7920)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized my online dating profile has gotten more views with no picture than it has with my picture. FML

#20772363
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46729) - you deserved it (5206)

On 07/09/2013 at 1:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that I'd been wrong to constantly accuse next door's cat of peeing on my car every night. It was actually my 16-year-old son. FML

#20772121
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47117) - you deserved it (6540)

On 07/09/2013 at 9:35am - kids - by thecathater (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

#20770545
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30310) - you deserved it (66851)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm - love - by Erica (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55216) - you deserved it (9460)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

#20766565
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47192) - you deserved it (4876)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, another "gentleman" called and asked for my "services". This is happening a lot lately, because apparently I have the old number of a prostitute. I told him I'm not who he's looking for, to which he replied that I sound like a "sexy lady" and that he wanted to have some fun. FML

#20748362
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43558) - you deserved it (3148)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML

#20747044
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42159) - you deserved it (5054)

On 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

#20744678
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54899) - you deserved it (4482)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

#20743881
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38702) - you deserved it (8937)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:20am - work - by myfavoritesgouda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

#20743211
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53837) - you deserved it (7883)

On 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm - kids - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

#20742647
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51786) - you deserved it (3689)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

#20742274
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61362) - you deserved it (24024)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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