Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FBISurveillance

Search for a member

FBISurveillance

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 352
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About FBISurveillance : I enjoy looking at people's stories. It makes me feel better about my own life.

FBISurveillance's page activity

Visits<b>macelonel</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 7:55pm

FBISurveillance's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of FBISurveillance's badges

FBISurveillance's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a visit from a social worker. My son told his teacher I was starving him, all because I refused to let him eat pizza and ice cream for breakfast. FML

#16310426
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38247) - you deserved it (4045)

On 05/23/2011 at 7:58am - kids - by Bad Parent -

Today, while changing a light bulb, I was electrocuted. I screamed before I blacked out. My entire family was home and heard me scream, but didn't come and check because they were too busy watching Glee. FML

#16122609
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41711) - you deserved it (6915)

On 05/10/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by Burnt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after teaching my 4 year old son about the concept of "Stranger Danger," we had gone to a park full of people. When I walked up to him to tell him we had to leave, he ran, screaming "Stranger! Don't touch me!" FML

#16028300
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34319) - you deserved it (7219)

On 05/03/2011 at 1:01am - kids - by armywife980 -

Today, while snow plowing I accidentally ran over my kid's basketball. I told him what had happened and he responded by spilling his ant farm into my underwear drawer. FML

#14570850
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28085) - you deserved it (7165)

On 01/13/2011 at 9:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered my parents took me to a specialist when I was a baby because they thought I had a facial deformity. It turns out I'm just ugly. FML

#13990251
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33706) - you deserved it (2690)

On 11/26/2010 at 7:23pm - misc - by bleh (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47272) - you deserved it (17364)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20157) - you deserved it (59017)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I popped a zit and I went to put my acne medicine on it. It's in a clear bottle with a blue cap, just like the nearby nailpolish remover. I grabbed the wrong one. FML

#12685763
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23844) - you deserved it (13090)

On 08/22/2010 at 5:20pm - misc - by inseriouspain (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML

#11923673
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32776) - you deserved it (16822)

On 07/16/2010 at 3:45pm - misc - by liz - United States (California)

Today, I got called a "loser" by an old man wearing pink flip-flops and riding a purple moped. FML

#11586440
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34935) - you deserved it (7377)

On 07/01/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by cooldude (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my husband decided he will be a 'stay at home' dad. We have two cats. No kids. FML

#10938544
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30815) - you deserved it (3571)

On 06/03/2010 at 3:44am - animals - by Kate - United States (Arizona)

Today, a bee landed on my leg. I didn't realize it was there until my friend yelled out, "Bee!" kicked me in the leg, and ran off. I fell to the ground screaming and clutching my leg. She missed the bee and it still stung me. FML

#10837564
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26043) - you deserved it (2360)

On 05/29/2010 at 8:11am - misc - by hulagirl1217 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy. Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock. Nice math mom. I've been married for 5 months. FML

#8887792
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36112) - you deserved it (2352)

On 03/07/2010 at 5:27am - misc - by notamathematician (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in school and spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her I broke her nose. FML

#8376672
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10759) - you deserved it (32515)

On 02/17/2010 at 3:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: