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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 838
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About FBISurveillance : I enjoy looking at people's stories. It makes me feel better about my own life.

FBISurveillance's page activity

Visits<b>macelonel</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 7:55pm

FBISurveillance's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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FBISurveillance's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML

by mista_sandy / 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I finally got the guts to text this cute girl at school. I started sending flirtatious texts, only to find out the hard way that she'd given me her boyfriend's number. FML

by Mark Allan / 03/25/2012 at 12:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

by weep weep weep / 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

by lulu / 02/11/2012 at 5:19am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML

by sparklethelette / 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML

by AmericanDream / 12/01/2011 at 12:41am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML

by hot_shot / 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I discovered my wife and I have referred to our two-year-old as 'cutie' or 'beautiful' so many times she won't respond to her own name. FML

by BadFather / 11/21/2011 at 1:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML

by MrTandy / 09/15/2011 at 10:38pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML

by WTFwhywouldyoudothat / 08/22/2011 at 6:10pm / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

by crazygirl12 / 07/29/2011 at 11:18am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML

by butimarealbear / 07/13/2011 at 9:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

by Username / 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML

by Unsanitary / 06/26/2011 at 6:32am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Kids

Today, I finally used the statistics book that I forked out $120 to buy. To kill an ant. FML

by jaybob18 / 06/17/2011 at 2:07am / United States (New York) / Animals