Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FBISurveillance

Search for a member

FBISurveillance

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 395
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About FBISurveillance : I enjoy looking at people's stories. It makes me feel better about my own life.

FBISurveillance's page activity

Visits<b>macelonel</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 7:55pm

FBISurveillance's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of FBISurveillance's badges

FBISurveillance's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML

#19449601
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30686) - you deserved it (5100)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm - love - by mista_sandy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally got the guts to text this cute girl at school. I started sending flirtatious texts, only to find out the hard way that she'd given me her boyfriend's number. FML

#19344485
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24043) - you deserved it (6626)

On 03/25/2012 at 12:06pm - love - by Mark Allan (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

#19260934
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21829) - you deserved it (3292)

On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

#19046512
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25219) - you deserved it (4172)

On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)

Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML

#18447759
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22995) - you deserved it (3019)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm - love - by sparklethelette - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML

#18400487
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26713) - you deserved it (3314)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:41am - misc - by AmericanDream (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML

#18379052
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42639) - you deserved it (4473)

On 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm - love - by hot_shot (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I discovered my wife and I have referred to our two-year-old as 'cutie' or 'beautiful' so many times she won't respond to her own name. FML

#18304597
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11941) - you deserved it (37797)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:23am - kids - by BadFather (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML

#17754607
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26031) - you deserved it (3152)

On 09/15/2011 at 10:38pm - work - by MrTandy - United States (New York)

Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML

#17549982
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26542) - you deserved it (3823)

On 08/22/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by WTFwhywouldyoudothat - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

#17297056
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42640) - you deserved it (3334)

On 07/29/2011 at 11:18am - work - by crazygirl12 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML

#17092208
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30588) - you deserved it (2797)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by butimarealbear (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33747) - you deserved it (3608)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML

#16862726
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44448) - you deserved it (9944)

On 06/26/2011 at 6:32am - kids - by Unsanitary (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I finally used the statistics book that I forked out $120 to buy. To kill an ant. FML

#16706324
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23411) - you deserved it (10058)

On 06/17/2011 at 2:07am - misc - by jaybob18 - United States (New York)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: