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Crystal55621

Offline (the 02/05/2015 at 7:10am) | Search for a member

Crystal55621

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 36863
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Crystal55621 : Sooo......'sup?

Crystal55621's page activity

Visits<b>sn24swim</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 8:23pm<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:09pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 2:29pm<b>abattior</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 6:06am<b>drpepper2019</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 6:35pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 3:43pm<b>guelito97</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 4:51pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 6:13am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 10:46pm<b>colerean</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 1:50pm<b>KevenV</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:56am<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:18pm<b>GDragonsSwag</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 8:20am<b>skeeter551</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 11:54am<b>niknakpattywak</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 8:05pm<b>iJUSTINsane</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 7:49am<b>TylerScatdaddy</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 12:16pm<b>randomgalzbo</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 5:10am

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Crystal55621's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

#20524344
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36893) - you deserved it (6107)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing and showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML

#20524308
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33759) - you deserved it (5287)

On 02/27/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by dangerZone - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44981) - you deserved it (5629)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML

#20523063
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35122) - you deserved it (4308)

On 02/26/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by guyssuck (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

#20523003
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28086) - you deserved it (9606)

On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56486) - you deserved it (4148)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, while at the nail salon, my boyfriend called. Since I was getting my nails done, I had to put him on speaker. The whole salon heard him break up with me. I can still hear their snickering in my head. FML

#20521938
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34565) - you deserved it (6908)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by HeatherRosure18 - United States (Illinois)

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

#20521929
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41378) - you deserved it (3419)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57209) - you deserved it (4612) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

#20521278
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29928) - you deserved it (4303)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:25am - animals - by Sammy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML

#20520888
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43163) - you deserved it (5113)

On 02/24/2013 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by pissed girlfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

#20520338
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38803) - you deserved it (8313)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went sledding with my friends. I said I was tired and didn't want to go, but they press-ganged me into it. I ended up sledding right into a tree, fracturing my leg, and scraping up my entire face. FML

#20520149
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25244) - you deserved it (4798)

On 02/24/2013 at 12:36pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

#20517914
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30313) - you deserved it (3513)

On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)



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