Crystal55621

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Offline (the 10/28/2015 at 11:06pm)

Crystal55621

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 39850
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Crystal55621 : Sooo......'sup?

Crystal55621's page activity

Visits<b>plastix</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 6:31am<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 5:23pm<b>toastbrot</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 12:22pm<b>soapysurprise</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 10:32pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 4:04am<b>M3DO</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 12:19am<b>Unused_Account13</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 3:21pm<b>idontknowkero</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 2:26pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:51am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 9:50am<b>Duhitstori</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 5:27pm<b>checkyalater</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:13am<b>uzo_od</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 2:25pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 9:34pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 1:55pm<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 10:51am<b>lexiale</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 9:07am<b>helptheorphans</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 1:54am

Fucked!<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 9:33am

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Crystal55621's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm / United States / Love

Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing and showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML

by dangerZone / 02/27/2013 at 11:43am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

by Frostbitten / 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML

by guyssuck / 02/26/2013 at 2:11pm / Canada (Northwest Territories) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

by Puppylove / 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I got talking to a pretty girl on the subway. Just as she was about to get off, I handed her my phone so that she could give me her number. She ran out with it. FML

by crétin-crédule / 02/26/2013 at 12:02am / France (Limousin) / Love

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

by n3ov / 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm / Pakistan (Islamabad) / Intimacy

Today, while at the nail salon, my boyfriend called. Since I was getting my nails done, I had to put him on speaker. The whole salon heard him break up with me. I can still hear their snickering in my head. FML

by HeatherRosure18 / 02/25/2013 at 6:04pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison / 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Health

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

by Sammy / 02/25/2013 at 2:25am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML

by pissed girlfriend / 02/24/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I went sledding with my friends. I said I was tired and didn't want to go, but they press-ganged me into it. I ended up sledding right into a tree, fracturing my leg, and scraping up my entire face. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2013 at 12:36pm / United States / Health

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

by arse of fire :( / 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm / United Kingdom (Slough) / Health