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Offline (the 06/21/2016 at 8:29am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 43605
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Crystal55621 : Sooo......'sup?

Crystal55621's page activity

Visits<b>TheFlyingP3nguin</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 7:40pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 9:53am<b>skyttlz</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 7:07am<b>ifuckuprandomly</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 6:55am<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 3:51pm<b>plastix</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 6:31am<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 5:23pm<b>toastbrot</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 12:22pm<b>soapysurprise</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 10:32pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 4:04am<b>M3DO</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 12:19am<b>Unused_Account13</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 3:21pm<b>idontknowkero</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 2:26pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:51am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 9:50am<b>Duhitstori</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 5:27pm<b>checkyalater</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:13am<b>uzo_od</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 2:25pm

Fucked!<b>ifuckuprandomly</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 12:55pm<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 9:51pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 9:33am

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Crystal55621's favorite FMLs

Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML

by SlothyMolly / 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm / United States / Work

Today, I discovered that the neck injury that my mom has had since last week was planned just as an excuse not to shovel when today's snowstorm came. She has planned on being lazy for over a week now. FML

by Drew / 03/06/2013 at 10:16am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML

by ghgfd / 03/06/2013 at 9:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was reciting lines for a play that I'm in. It was going great, until I realized that I was actually reciting my scripted sales pitch from my telemarketing job. FML

by sales ham / 03/06/2013 at 12:44am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

by cjw / 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

by FUCKKKS / 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 9:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML

by yikes / 03/02/2013 at 10:32am / United States / Animals

Today, to avoid a massive delay on our scheduled flight at the airport, we were generously moved to an earlier flight home. An hour later, our new flight had been cancelled and they told us we'd be stuck at the airport overnight. Our original flight took off fine. FML

by melyeah / 03/02/2013 at 9:14am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I was at my class's band concert. Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a girl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen. I said, "There, now your mom can see you play!" She responded with, "My mom's blind." FML

by Anonymous / 03/02/2013 at 1:22am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my boyfriend a cute picture that I drew for him, with a little note saying "love you." He replied by sending me a picture of a nose hair he'd plucked, along with the caption, "longest one yet." FML

by thenewgirl29 / 03/01/2013 at 12:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

by useless pos / 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML

by DumbCuntApparently / 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous