Crystal55621

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Offline (the 06/21/2016 at 8:29am)

Crystal55621

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 42128
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Crystal55621 : Sooo......'sup?

Crystal55621's page activity

Visits<b>TheFlyingP3nguin</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 7:40pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 9:53am<b>skyttlz</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 7:07am<b>ifuckuprandomly</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 6:55am<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 3:51pm<b>plastix</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 6:31am<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 5:23pm<b>toastbrot</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 12:22pm<b>soapysurprise</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 10:32pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 4:04am<b>M3DO</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 12:19am<b>Unused_Account13</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 3:21pm<b>idontknowkero</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 2:26pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:51am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 9:50am<b>Duhitstori</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 5:27pm<b>checkyalater</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:13am<b>uzo_od</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 2:25pm

Fucked!<b>ifuckuprandomly</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 12:55pm<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 9:51pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 9:33am

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Crystal55621's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were on my bed when things started getting hot and it began to shake. My little sister called the entire family to the hall to listen to "the frogs in the wall". FML

by lolk / 03/10/2013 at 3:41am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm so broke after paying my bills, that I resorted to eating plain garlic butter from the pizzeria down the street for lunch. The worst part: to get the butter, I stormed in and angrily complained, saying they forgot to give it to me. I never even ordered a pizza. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 6:03pm / United States (South Carolina) / Money

Today, the guy in the dorm room next to me was playing very loud metal music. I went next door and kindly asked him to turn it off. He did, so I went back to my room to go back to sleep. It turns out he was using the music to drown out his girlfriend's very loud moans. FML

by ShittyWalls / 03/09/2013 at 8:35am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML

by Quiteannoyed / 03/09/2013 at 5:35am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Love

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 3:56am / United States / Intimacy

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend left me for a girl I know. She was the girl my last boyfriend left me for. FML

by itsnotyouitsher / 03/09/2013 at 1:16am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my boyfriend's daughter asked me what would happen if she chose to stop urinating for two weeks. She wanted to know whether it would kill her or just start coming out of her mouth. She's 17-years old, and was deadly serious. FML

by Anonymous / 03/08/2013 at 8:11pm / Argentina (Distrito Federal) / Kids

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML

by fuck you, gran / 03/08/2013 at 7:38pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML

by fuck you, gran / 03/08/2013 at 7:38pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML

by no sir I have not / 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm / United States / Work

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

by shittysongs / 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my step-mom stole over $100 in cash from me, dumped dirty cat litter all over my clean bed sheets, and called me a whore for having a polite conversation with my boyfriend. I confronted my father about it. He told me to forgive her, because she's "on her period." FML

by disgruntled stepdaughter / 03/06/2013 at 2:11pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous