About Crystal55621 : I'm not telling anything so....this was a waste of time. Enjoy your day!
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37241) - you deserved it (7375)
On 03/10/2013 at 9:40am - intimacy - by cremyfrozentreat - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend and I were on my bed when things started getting hot and it began to shake. My little sister called the entire family to the hall to listen to "the frogs in the wall". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14366) - you deserved it (31107)
On 03/10/2013 at 3:41am - intimacy - by lolk - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21921) - you deserved it (3671)
On 03/09/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, I'm so broke after paying my bills, that I resorted to eating plain garlic butter from the pizzeria down the street for lunch. The worst part: to get the butter, I stormed in and angrily complained, saying they forgot to give it to me. I never even ordered a pizza. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29188) - you deserved it (6251)
On 03/09/2013 at 6:03pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, the guy in the dorm room next to me was playing very loud metal music. I went next door and kindly asked him to turn it off. He did, so I went back to my room to go back to sleep. It turns out he was using the music to drown out his girlfriend's very loud moans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1210) - you deserved it (9116)
On 03/09/2013 at 8:35am - intimacy - by ShittyWalls (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33317) - you deserved it (2104)
On 03/09/2013 at 5:35am - love - by Quiteannoyed (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30986) - you deserved it (3311)
On 03/09/2013 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31251) - you deserved it (1862)
Today, my boyfriend left me for a girl I know. She was the girl my last boyfriend left me for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41959) - you deserved it (2963)
On 03/09/2013 at 1:16am - love - by itsnotyouitsher - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend's daughter asked me what would happen if she chose to stop urinating for two weeks. She wanted to know whether it would kill her or just start coming out of her mouth. She's 17-years old, and was deadly serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27254) - you deserved it (1856)
On 03/08/2013 at 8:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)
Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22661) - you deserved it (3150)
On 03/08/2013 at 7:38pm - misc - by fuck you, gran (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22661) - you deserved it (3150)
On 03/08/2013 at 7:38pm - misc - by fuck you, gran (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10545) - you deserved it (22911)
On 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by no sir I have not (man) - United States
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23116) - you deserved it (5593)
On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44469) - you deserved it (11189)
On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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