Crystal55621

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Offline (the 10/28/2015 at 11:06pm)

Crystal55621

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 39841
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Crystal55621 : Sooo......'sup?

Crystal55621's page activity

Visits<b>plastix</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 6:31am<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 5:23pm<b>toastbrot</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 12:22pm<b>soapysurprise</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 10:32pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 4:04am<b>M3DO</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 12:19am<b>Unused_Account13</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 3:21pm<b>idontknowkero</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 2:26pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:51am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 9:50am<b>Duhitstori</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 5:27pm<b>checkyalater</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:13am<b>uzo_od</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 2:25pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 9:34pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 1:55pm<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 10:51am<b>lexiale</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 9:07am<b>helptheorphans</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 1:54am

Fucked!<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 9:33am

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Crystal55621's favorite FMLs

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML

by fuckedbyahipster / 06/15/2013 at 12:13pm / Finland / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

by Jill / 06/15/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML

by instinct / 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

by notyourmom / 06/11/2013 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, my co-workers figured out that I was in high school when my husband was in kindergarten. They won't stop calling me a "cougar". FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 11:19pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

by poisonivyretard / 06/04/2013 at 1:15pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 3:17am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2013 at 11:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML

by beyondembarrassed / 05/05/2013 at 1:44am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

by acnecream / 05/03/2013 at 9:23am / Finland (Eastern Finland) / Transportation

Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML

by poopydaddy / 05/03/2013 at 7:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Health