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Crystal55621

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Crystal55621
  • Town/Country : Up your ass, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12940
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Crystal55621 : Sooo......'sup?

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Crystal55621's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

#18334603
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43439) - you deserved it (6837)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore

Today, in my karate dojo, I was being taught how to fall properly. My sensei instructed us not to fall with our hands out because it could sprain our wrists. As I was getting ready to help demonstrate a backwards break fall, I actually fell over. Guess where my hands went. FML

#18334066
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8998) - you deserved it (10882)

On 11/24/2011 at 2:58am - health - by xJade2012x - United States

Today, things were getting heated with my girlfriend, so I tried taking her shirt off. Slapping my hands away, she said, "I was only dating you to get my self-confidence up, I'm good now." FML

#18333662
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37210) - you deserved it (3515)

On 11/24/2011 at 1:52am - intimacy - by Badab1ng - United States (Texas)

Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML

#18329245
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36438) - you deserved it (2147)

On 11/23/2011 at 5:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML

#18329214
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24849) - you deserved it (2394)

On 11/23/2011 at 5:53pm - work - by anon -

Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML

#18329214
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24849) - you deserved it (2394)

On 11/23/2011 at 5:53pm - work - by anon -

Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML

Today, I realized the only reason my boyfriend is dating me is because he has a pimple fetish. FML

#17304312
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35972) - you deserved it (4476)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I confronted my husband about him being unfaithful. He said his reasons were because he's just not attracted to me anymore and my current weight repulses him. I'm six months pregnant with his child. FML

#15784474
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50661) - you deserved it (3160)

On 04/14/2011 at 2:28pm - love - by Pregnant (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

#15114672
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32406) - you deserved it (5875)

On 02/25/2011 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by unwantedlove (woman) - France

Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML

#15051714
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40116) - you deserved it (14389)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Infected (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a rude awakening after a traffic accident the day before. I'd fled the scene to avoid having to pay hefty damage fines. I would have gotten away with it too, if my license plate hadn't fallen off and incriminated me. FML

#14578612
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6031) - you deserved it (100420)

On 01/14/2011 at 2:43pm - money - by calidumbass - United States

Today, my boss decided to post a photo of a piece of crap on Facebook. He tagged me in it. FML

#14500845
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23808) - you deserved it (3534)

On 01/07/2011 at 8:31pm - work - by poop (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I hit a car while trying to park. Assuming that no one saw, I moved my car and parked somewhere else. Hours later I get a call from the university police. While backing up to go to the police station I hit another car. FML

#14150580
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5409) - you deserved it (45191)

On 12/10/2010 at 3:12am - misc - by eyeleanify (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that I wasn't really allergic to chocolate. My parents made it up when I was a child because they didn't want me to get fat. FML

#13970714
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31388) - you deserved it (3018)

On 11/25/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by wow (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)



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