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Crystal55621's favorite FMLs
by Jane / 11/24/2011 at 8:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by Faithful / 11/24/2011 at 5:01am / Singapore / Intimacy
Today, in my karate dojo, I was being taught how to fall properly. My sensei instructed us not to fall with our hands out because it could sprain our wrists. As I was getting ready to help demonstrate a backwards break fall, I actually fell over. Guess where my hands went. FML
by xJade2012x / 11/24/2011 at 2:58am / United States / Health
by Badab1ng / 11/24/2011 at 1:52am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2011 at 5:58pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML
by maryrain / 08/11/2011 at 5:35am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/30/2011 at 12:35am / United States / Love
Today, I confronted my husband about him being unfaithful. He said his reasons were because he's just not attracted to me anymore and my current weight repulses him. I'm six months pregnant with his child. FML
by Pregnant / 04/14/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by unwantedlove / 02/25/2011 at 1:36pm / France / Intimacy
by Infected / 02/20/2011 at 12:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I had a rude awakening after a traffic accident the day before. I'd fled the scene to avoid having to pay hefty damage fines. I would have gotten away with it too, if my license plate hadn't fallen off and incriminated me. FML
by calidumbass / 01/14/2011 at 2:43pm / United States / Money
by poop / 01/07/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, I hit a car while trying to park. Assuming that no one saw, I moved my car and parked somewhere else. Hours later I get a call from the university police. While backing up to go to the police station I hit another car. FML
by eyeleanify / 12/10/2010 at 3:12am / United States (California) / Transportation
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, after going to the doctor to have him look at a rash on my man bits, I asked him how to get… Today, I got it on for the first time with a guy I've been dating. He had to turn the TV up loud so… Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed…