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Crystal55621's favorite FMLs
by ravlol / 11/25/2011 at 1:08pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML
by notgoodenough / 11/25/2011 at 12:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by tireedddddd / 11/25/2011 at 11:24am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Dickhead / 11/25/2011 at 10:02am / Lebanon / Intimacy
Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
by nicoreal89 / 11/25/2011 at 3:20am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by yollew / 11/25/2011 at 1:27am / United States (Oregon) / Health
Today, during my boyfriend's family reunion, I started my period but didn't have any tampons. I asked my boyfriend to ask his mom if she had any. I sat on the toilet waiting, then heard him loudly ask his whole family "Does anybody have a tampon my girlfriend can have?" FML
by Jessie / 11/25/2011 at 1:13am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 10:51pm / United States / Love
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
by hannahlorraine / 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by guy / 11/24/2011 at 9:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML
by vistingherfamily / 11/24/2011 at 9:09pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I tried to buy a bottle of wine from the supermarket. The scrawny, acne-ridden kid at the checkout asked to see my ID. I didn't have any on me, since I'm 37 years old and didn't expect to be asked stupid questions. I complained to his manager, only to be asked to leave. FML
by Andrew / 11/24/2011 at 3:19pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend got upset after I politely asked him to do the laundry. He takes every chance he gets to act macho and brag to people about how he's in the Marines, but apparently he is too much of a pussy to act like a man and clean his own clothes. FML
by sigh / 11/24/2011 at 2:30pm / United States (California) / Love
by swirkishly / 11/24/2011 at 11:06am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…