About Crystal55621 : Sooo......'sup?
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Crystal55621's favorite FMLs
Today, I called a friend of mine who was recently in an accident. She told me that the head trauma has caused her to lose all sense of smell and taste. To try and cheer her up, I suggested I take her out to lunch. FML
by MB / 11/28/2011 at 1:30am / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML
by Meowingtons500 / 11/27/2011 at 11:02pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 10:00pm / United States (Mississippi) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 5:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by davidh5012 / 11/27/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 6:46am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous
by smellyhouse / 11/27/2011 at 5:19am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by _Oblivion_ / 11/26/2011 at 8:51pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by notsohappilyeverafter / 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (California) / Love
by hitintheeye / 11/26/2011 at 10:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML
by Help / 11/26/2011 at 1:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/26/2011 at 12:54am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
by Anonymous / 11/26/2011 at 12:54am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after I went to collect my pay for babysitting, the girl's dad pulled the old "Can I pay you in Trident Layers?" bull on me. Hoping to show that I wasn't going to play ball, I told him that watching his gran inhale a cock would be funnier. If scowls could kill... FML
by Anonymous / 11/25/2011 at 9:09pm / United States (Nevada) / Money
- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I was driving in a straight line on a completely deserted road in the open bush. I sneezed… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…