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Crystal55621's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/03/2011 at 1:19pm / United States / Kids
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
by perenoel / 12/03/2011 at 11:24am / France / Kids
Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
by Anonymous / 12/03/2011 at 5:05am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous
by trembelwick / 12/03/2011 at 5:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Sam / 12/03/2011 at 5:03am / United States / Transportation
Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML
by Makala / 12/03/2011 at 3:15am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/03/2011 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Health
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
by Anonymous / 12/02/2011 at 9:02pm / United Kingdom / Health
by Anonymous / 12/02/2011 at 12:06pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was terribly nervous for my patient interview exam as a 4th year medical student. In my nervousness I learned that just because a patient is wearing a T-shirt and shorts, has a short hair cut and a moustache and is named 'Chris', it is not safe to assume that they are male. FML
by Monday / 12/02/2011 at 9:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by jessi / 12/02/2011 at 8:22am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/02/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by waterbottlehit / 12/02/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by inpain / 12/02/2011 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Animals
by unknown52 / 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Health
- Today, my brother, who I am babysitting, threatened to hit me with a screwdriver. It's one of those… Today, I decided to put my hair in a bunch of braids so it would be wavy in the morning. I wake up… Today, my boyfriend and I had an argument. He said he doesn't know if we are meant to be together.…