Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Crystal55621

Search for a member

Crystal55621

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17157
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Crystal55621 : Sooo......'sup?

Crystal55621's page activity

Visits<b>colerean</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 1:50pm<b>KevenV</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:56am<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:18pm<b>GDragonsSwag</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 8:20am<b>skeeter551</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 11:54am<b>niknakpattywak</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 8:05pm<b>iJUSTINsane</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 7:49am<b>TylerScatdaddy</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 12:16pm<b>randomgalzbo</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 5:10am<b>BFons</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 12:06pm<b>Kashaqueetrah</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 7:47pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 1:45am<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 11:04pm<b>iamchron</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 8:48am<b>caver</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 9:55am<b>wholock</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 9:52am<b>Norah2AlS</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 3:58am<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 10:00pm

Crystal55621's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Crystal55621's badges

Crystal55621's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes running my feet under hot water. Why? Because my dad thought it would be funny to superglue my feet together. FML

#18491637
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29273) - you deserved it (2718)

On 12/12/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by lucas - United States (Alaska)

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8956) - you deserved it (40830)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that my father died a little over a year ago. I don't know what's worse; the fact that I don't care or the fact that in his will all he wanted was me not to attend his funeral. FML

#18489810
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31052) - you deserved it (6195)

On 12/11/2011 at 10:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife and I had a huge fight. I was getting ready to go to sleep on the couch when she came downstairs and grabbed a very large metal spoon. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#18489765
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21741) - you deserved it (3691)

On 12/11/2011 at 10:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML

#18488373
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24144) - you deserved it (2981)

On 12/11/2011 at 8:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48399) - you deserved it (7714)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML

#18482161
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30380) - you deserved it (2230)

On 12/11/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were talking about childhood memories. He told me about a girl he made fun of in middle school. That was me. FML

#18479280
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36415) - you deserved it (3490)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

#18479276
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48076) - you deserved it (3606)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I've gained weight. He replied, "Why do you think I've been so often on top lately?" FML

#18472242
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31275) - you deserved it (8088)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss' car. FML

#18469057
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27986) - you deserved it (3794)

On 12/09/2011 at 3:14pm - work - by charliebravo77 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

#18468865
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31418) - you deserved it (2782)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by Vince (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42101) - you deserved it (5129)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML

#18467127
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26564) - you deserved it (2148)

On 12/09/2011 at 7:23am - misc - by pinkleopleurodon - United States

Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML

#18467127
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26564) - you deserved it (2148)

On 12/09/2011 at 7:23am - misc - by pinkleopleurodon - United States



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: