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Crystal55621

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Crystal55621
  • Town/Country : Up your ass, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13184
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Crystal55621 : Sooo......'sup?

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Crystal55621's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

#18495546
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34401) - you deserved it (3697)

On 12/12/2011 at 4:45pm - kids - by Santa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had an allergic reaction to my deodorant. My armpits wouldn't stop itching, and by the time my shift was over, they were raw and bloody. FML

#18494919
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23856) - you deserved it (2301)

On 12/12/2011 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was my first day at work as a waitress. The day ended with me owing my employers money, after I accidentally smashed an expensive bottle of wine on the floor. FML

#18493927
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20375) - you deserved it (4187)

On 12/12/2011 at 12:08pm - work - by isuckasawaitress (woman) - Singapore

Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes running my feet under hot water. Why? Because my dad thought it would be funny to superglue my feet together. FML

#18491637
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27778) - you deserved it (2603)

On 12/12/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by lucas - United States (Alaska)

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8443) - you deserved it (39207)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that my father died a little over a year ago. I don't know what's worse; the fact that I don't care or the fact that in his will all he wanted was me not to attend his funeral. FML

#18489810
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26251) - you deserved it (4826)

On 12/11/2011 at 10:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife and I had a huge fight. I was getting ready to go to sleep on the couch when she came downstairs and grabbed a very large metal spoon. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#18489765
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19248) - you deserved it (3443)

On 12/11/2011 at 10:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML

#18488373
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19301) - you deserved it (2205)

On 12/11/2011 at 8:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46354) - you deserved it (7418)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML

#18482161
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28955) - you deserved it (2132)

On 12/11/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were talking about childhood memories. He told me about a girl he made fun of in middle school. That was me. FML

#18479280
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34483) - you deserved it (3304)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

#18479276
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46277) - you deserved it (3470)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I've gained weight. He replied, "Why do you think I've been so often on top lately?" FML

#18472242
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25794) - you deserved it (6072)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I drove into the parking lot at work, and discovered too late that there were patches of ice everywhere. As I turned to enter my usual spot, I lost control of the vehicle, and despite my pleas, praying, and profanity, it glided straight into my boss' car. FML

#18469057
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25463) - you deserved it (3500)

On 12/09/2011 at 3:14pm - work - by charliebravo77 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

#18468865
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30125) - you deserved it (2677)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by Vince (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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