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Crystal55621

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Crystal55621
  • Town/Country : Up your ass, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12982
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Crystal55621 : Sooo......'sup?

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Crystal55621's favorite FMLs

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

#18534964
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28476) - you deserved it (5529) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/17/2011 at 10:42am - kids - by espylone - France

Today, my boyfriend texted me and said I had forgotten my blue bra. I don't have any blue bras. FML

#18534349
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35541) - you deserved it (2729)

On 12/17/2011 at 8:17am - love - by fmll - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, after staying up all night with an excruciating headache, it finally went away. I crawled into bed and snuggled up to my husband only to have him shift positions and elbow me right in the head. FML

#18534039
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23467) - you deserved it (2453)

On 12/17/2011 at 6:09am - health - by wideawakeandinpain - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

#18533505
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27890) - you deserved it (8680)

On 12/17/2011 at 2:59am - misc - by MikeNick - United States

Today, I found out the hard way what it sounds like when you take the first letter of my first name, A, and put it with my last name, Hole. FML

#18533442
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20729) - you deserved it (3140)

On 12/17/2011 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him for the first time. His response was to smile and pat me on the head. FML

#18533113
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26313) - you deserved it (4296)

On 12/17/2011 at 1:49am - love - by teejayrn - United States

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

#18531722
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28377) - you deserved it (5164)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
182 comments

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML

#18530892
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29166) - you deserved it (2003)

On 12/16/2011 at 9:06pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had two of my wisdom teeth removed. One side of my face is completely swollen, and the other is normal. I feel like the elephant man. FML

#18528725
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14186) - you deserved it (2739)

On 12/16/2011 at 4:13pm - misc - by HR (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML

#18528339
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19699) - you deserved it (1565)

On 12/16/2011 at 3:16pm - money - by Cano951 - United States

Today, the heating in my house broke down. I called my boyfriend and asked if I could stay at his place until I could get it fixed. He said no, and told me my overgrown leg hair would keep me warm. FML

#18528307
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26103) - you deserved it (12036)

On 12/16/2011 at 3:11pm - love - by Anonymous - Sweden (Hallands Lan)

Today, after I sent around 300 entries to a competition hosted by a deodorant company where the main prize is a trip to Hawaii, spending around 5 hours sending the entries, I won a deodorant. FML

#18526839
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10091) - you deserved it (31373)

On 12/16/2011 at 9:59am - money - by mr.nobody (woman) - Cyprus (Nicosia)

Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML

#18526714
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19186) - you deserved it (34500)

On 12/16/2011 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML

#18525865
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23359) - you deserved it (11561)

On 12/16/2011 at 4:08am - kids - by Oily (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)



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