Crystal55621

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Offline (the 06/21/2016 at 8:29am)

Crystal55621

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 42101
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Crystal55621 : Sooo......'sup?

Crystal55621's page activity

Visits<b>TheFlyingP3nguin</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 7:40pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 9:53am<b>skyttlz</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 7:07am<b>ifuckuprandomly</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 6:55am<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 3:51pm<b>plastix</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 6:31am<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 5:23pm<b>toastbrot</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 12:22pm<b>soapysurprise</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 10:32pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 4:04am<b>M3DO</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 12:19am<b>Unused_Account13</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 3:21pm<b>idontknowkero</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 2:26pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:51am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 9:50am<b>Duhitstori</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 5:27pm<b>checkyalater</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:13am<b>uzo_od</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 2:25pm

Fucked!<b>ifuckuprandomly</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 12:55pm<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 9:51pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 9:33am

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Crystal55621's favorite FMLs

Today, during an otherwise promising job interview, I was asked how much I thought was too much for a "good hit of blow". I must have stayed speechless for too long, because the guy's next words were, "Yeah, you're not cut out for this." I'm shocked and baffled too. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2013 at 6:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

by ImNotFat / 08/07/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

by traumatizedforlife / 08/05/2013 at 4:21pm / United States / Animals

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

by father of the year / 08/01/2013 at 2:21am / United States / Kids

Today, I was playing solitaire when an achievement popped up on my phone. "You have just completed your 1000th game of solitaire!" Never felt so alone in my life. FML

by solitaire / 07/20/2013 at 4:14am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

by Treats For Days / 07/19/2013 at 9:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

by coldstar / 07/18/2013 at 5:06am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML

by malicious_melons / 07/07/2013 at 7:41pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was telling my girlfriend about how my parents are flying out to Japan today on vacation. She was shocked at how short the flight will be, because "It's on the other side of the world." We live in the USA, and it seems I'm dating a Flat Earther. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 7:34pm / United States (Texas) / Holidays

Today, I faced my severe phobia of spiders in order to remove a rather large one from my home. After 20 minutes of desperate struggling, it was finally taken care of. Relieved, I sat down and glanced across the hallway just in time to see a second, equally large spider strutting across the wall. FML

by Lepisma / 06/26/2013 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy