Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Crystal55621

Search for a member

Crystal55621

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 24887
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Crystal55621 : Sooo......'sup?

Crystal55621's page activity

Visits<b>drpepper2019</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 6:35pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 3:43pm<b>guelito97</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 4:51pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 6:13am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 10:46pm<b>colerean</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 1:50pm<b>KevenV</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:56am<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:18pm<b>GDragonsSwag</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 8:20am<b>skeeter551</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 11:54am<b>niknakpattywak</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 8:05pm<b>iJUSTINsane</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 7:49am<b>TylerScatdaddy</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 12:16pm<b>randomgalzbo</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 5:10am<b>BFons</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 12:06pm<b>Kashaqueetrah</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 7:47pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 1:45am<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 11:04pm

Crystal55621's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Crystal55621's badges

Crystal55621's favorite FMLs

Today, during an otherwise promising job interview, I was asked how much I thought was too much for a "good hit of blow". I must have stayed speechless for too long, because the guy's next words were, "Yeah, you're not cut out for this." I'm shocked and baffled too. FML

#20825212
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39777) - you deserved it (3879)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

#20825004
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43964) - you deserved it (13912)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by ImNotFat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

#20822322
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43248) - you deserved it (6134)

On 08/05/2013 at 4:21pm - animals - by traumatizedforlife (woman) - United States

Today, my 18-year-old daughter texted me and told me that she got in a car crash. She texted, "I forgot wich way wus left lol" and then quickly added "yolo right? Lol". FML

#20814697
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59017) - you deserved it (10570)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by father of the year - United States

Today, I was playing solitaire when an achievement popped up on my phone. "You have just completed your 1000th game of solitaire!" Never felt so alone in my life. FML

#20793723
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45721) - you deserved it (7619)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:14am - misc - by solitaire - United States (Washington)

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

#20792109
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48492) - you deserved it (23885)

On 07/19/2013 at 9:54am - work - by Treats For Days - Canada (Alberta)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57222) - you deserved it (6782)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44326) - you deserved it (32420) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59575) - you deserved it (21012)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML

#20769263
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39699) - you deserved it (3121)

On 07/07/2013 at 7:41pm - misc - by malicious_melons - United States (California)

Today, I was telling my girlfriend about how my parents are flying out to Japan today on vacation. She was shocked at how short the flight will be, because "It's on the other side of the world." We live in the USA, and it seems I'm dating a Flat Earther. FML

#20765797
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37034) - you deserved it (6757)

On 07/05/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I faced my severe phobia of spiders in order to remove a rather large one from my home. After 20 minutes of desperate struggling, it was finally taken care of. Relieved, I sat down and glanced across the hallway just in time to see a second, equally large spider strutting across the wall. FML

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47108) - you deserved it (4789)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69077) - you deserved it (3964)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: