BloodFaerie

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BloodFaerie

35Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 November 1982 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5829
  • Number of comments : 159
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 21 posted

About BloodFaerie : Just a girl...

BloodFaerie's page activity

Visits<b>Pinkgal123</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 5:34am<b>plomplonian</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 5:22pm<b>lost7702</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 2:13pm<b>DrafteeSelf</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 5:31am<b>AmericanBadAss</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 2:46am<b>BrooklynGirl36</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 9:44pm<b>plan_Z</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 10:59am<b>Dilexar</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 7:04pm<b>bronxiecat777</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 7:08am<b>FacePalm92</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 11:09am<b>Ze_Torch</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 2:58pm<b>Syntax58</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 6:56pm<b>Jakerssss</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 11:20am<b>Mafia_</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 2:13pm<b>DrSkillz</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 11:46am<b>poopsiepants</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 6:43am<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 1:05am<b>renafire</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 12:17am

Fucked!<b>DrafteeSelf</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 11:31am<b>AmericanBadAss</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 8:46am<b>Dilexar</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 1:04am<b>Syntax58</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 12:56am<b>UberMom</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 7:23pm<b>ghdflkmmm</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 6:53pm<b>kamdoodle</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 8:30am<b>Rais</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 10:57pm<b>hereforfmls</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 4:01pm<b>rogwest</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 6:10am<b>iNinetails</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 4:55am<b>w0nderwh4t</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 2:28am<b>vh_musiclover</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 1:52am<b>Lalagirl58</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 12:33am<b>eternal_screams</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 11:38pm<b>DandoMclovin</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 10:58pm<b>billboob</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 10:49pm<b>lambda</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 9:19pm

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BloodFaerie's favorite FMLs

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

by targe / 10/19/2011 at 5:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

by imy / 10/18/2011 at 11:01am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

by cduran2011 / 10/14/2011 at 11:23am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML

by G / 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

by ohgawd / 10/08/2011 at 2:48am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I'd just finished feeding my parrot and sweeping all the seeds under the cage. As I was walking away, my parrot whistled. I turned around to see him get up onto the food dish, pick up a clawful of food and toss it on the floor. FML

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

by Beeisc00l / 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm / Reserved / Animals

Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML

by Mike Polk / 10/03/2011 at 8:37am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

by Ramis182 / 10/03/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my mom and I heard a thump from inside the coat closet. I opened the door, and something fell on me. My mom, who was behind me, screamed, closed the laundry room door, and ran into the garage, leaving me to face the alleged attacker. It was the vacuum. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a fly got stuck up my nose while I was giving a speech. FML

by agent_awesome / 09/21/2011 at 11:25am / United Kingdom / Animals

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