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BloodFaerie

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BloodFaerie
  • Town/Country : Georgia, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 November 1982 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 1939
  • Number of comments : 159
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 21 posted

About BloodFaerie : Just a girl...

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BloodFaerie's favorite FMLs

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11629) - you deserved it (51470) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

#19344885
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19164) - you deserved it (3577)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

#19343644
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20839) - you deserved it (2704)

On 03/25/2012 at 7:59am - animals - by PicklesMcRaptor - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25988) - you deserved it (5669)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26887) - you deserved it (8841)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML

#19179734
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19512) - you deserved it (3637)

On 02/28/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by malloreigh (woman) - Australia

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, I flew to England to visit my boyfriend, who has been working there for the past three months. I went to his hotel and waited for him; he never showed up. I called one of his colleagues to ask him what was going on. He had no idea what I was talking about. FML

#18968998
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27968) - you deserved it (2425)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:31pm - love - by mareda (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that when you are sitting on a full bench at a bus stop, some crazy person will come sit on you. FML

#18857605
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22255) - you deserved it (2468)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:46pm - misc - by BadassRumbleroar - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31833) - you deserved it (4595)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22230) - you deserved it (4712)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

#18814667
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24136) - you deserved it (3118) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm - love - by Vitriol (man) - France

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

#18811404
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27429) - you deserved it (6186)

On 01/15/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

#18803544
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21967) - you deserved it (2968)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10232) - you deserved it (35013)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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