Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BloodFaerie

Search for a member

BloodFaerie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 November 1982 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2279
  • Number of comments : 159
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 21 posted

About BloodFaerie : Just a girl...

BloodFaerie's page activity

Visits<b>dylansgal</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:36am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 9:45pm<b>RubenTheGreek</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:37am<b>Caylee_G</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 12:13am<b>Mongobi</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 4:51pm<b>edvin</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 1:23am<b>EternallyFiction</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 11:50pm<b>DawsoNoswaD</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 9:37pm<b>blakelastovica</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 7:00am<b>MrDante</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 6:42pm<b>RadikulRam</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 3:51am<b>Furby94</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 3:39pm<b>crooklynkid</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 4:01am<b>katertott</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 11:58pm<b>billybobjr2001</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 10:35pm<b>sunnyray812</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 8:45am<b>artiststatement</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 10:33pm<b>ashlyn_warren</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 10:14pm

BloodFaerie's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of BloodFaerie's badges

BloodFaerie's favorite FMLs

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25350) - you deserved it (32358)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

#7203649
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26424) - you deserved it (3504)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

#7198019
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32284) - you deserved it (2539)

On 01/07/2010 at 11:50am - misc - by TJ (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML

#7160952
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27528) - you deserved it (4763)

On 01/05/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous - India (Madhya Pradesh)

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30068) - you deserved it (8358)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

 Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

#7078768
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26102) - you deserved it (2911)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:03am - animals - by grosssss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

#7059042
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37044) - you deserved it (17349)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I had fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML

#7004520
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19187) - you deserved it (10300)

On 12/29/2009 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

#6971032
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12177) - you deserved it (25172)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:04am - animals - by axwound (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

#6902851
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10474) - you deserved it (23625)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I decided to stay in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML

#6896062
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7877) - you deserved it (30118)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by ApolloandDixie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was trying to read a book for school, but kept falling asleep. Following some advice from a friend I tried reading on the uncomfortable floor. Two hours later my dog woke me up by peeing on my face. FML

#6894688
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23664) - you deserved it (5198)

On 12/23/2009 at 12:05am - animals - by sleepy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML

#6888473
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27826) - you deserved it (3723)

On 12/22/2009 at 6:32pm - misc - by everyonewasstaring (woman) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

#6852058
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12183) - you deserved it (25267)

On 12/20/2009 at 7:26pm - love - by embarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: