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BloodFaerie's favorite FMLs
by Hugh_Jankles / 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by StinkyCactus / 01/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML
by James4929 / 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom / Transportation
Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
by TJ / 01/07/2010 at 11:50am / India (Maharashtra) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/05/2010 at 7:49am / India (Madhya Pradesh) / Miscellaneous
Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML
by poordog / 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by grosssss / 01/01/2010 at 8:03am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
by pottypattypeepants / 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I had fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML
by Anonymous / 12/29/2009 at 12:11am / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML
by axwound / 12/27/2009 at 8:04am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by chris / 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I decided to stay in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML
by ApolloandDixie / 12/23/2009 at 1:17am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation
Today, I was trying to read a book for school, but kept falling asleep. Following some advice from a friend I tried reading on the uncomfortable floor. Two hours later my dog woke me up by peeing on my face. FML
by sleepy / 12/23/2009 at 12:05am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML
by everyonewasstaring / 12/22/2009 at 6:32pm / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML
by embarrassed / 12/20/2009 at 7:26pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…