Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BloodFaerie

Search for a member

BloodFaerie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 November 1982 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2373
  • Number of comments : 159
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 21 posted

About BloodFaerie : Just a girl...

BloodFaerie's page activity

Visits<b>mandybrown25</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 12:09pm<b>dylansgal</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:36am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 9:45pm<b>RubenTheGreek</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:37am<b>Caylee_G</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 12:13am<b>Mongobi</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 4:51pm<b>edvin</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 1:23am<b>EternallyFiction</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 11:50pm<b>DawsoNoswaD</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 9:37pm<b>blakelastovica</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 7:00am<b>MrDante</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 6:42pm<b>RadikulRam</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 3:51am<b>Furby94</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 3:39pm<b>crooklynkid</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 4:01am<b>katertott</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 11:58pm<b>billybobjr2001</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 10:35pm<b>sunnyray812</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 8:45am<b>artiststatement</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 10:33pm

BloodFaerie's FML badges

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of BloodFaerie's badges

BloodFaerie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML

#20417111
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28540) - you deserved it (4155)

On 12/23/2012 at 8:03pm - animals - by Christmas sucks - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33012) - you deserved it (3604)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33039) - you deserved it (19018)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29988) - you deserved it (8565)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27078) - you deserved it (12836)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31535) - you deserved it (6236)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

#20177082
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17520) - you deserved it (2547)

On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19933) - you deserved it (3581)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13303) - you deserved it (31467)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25198) - you deserved it (7540)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

#20154996
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16346) - you deserved it (26892)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25550) - you deserved it (2375)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML

#20139053
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8839) - you deserved it (13527)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by IndianAngel96 - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23204) - you deserved it (4264)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

#20102964
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25081) - you deserved it (9013)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: