BigMatt803

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Offline (the 07/08/2016 at 7:44pm)

BigMatt803

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1436
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BigMatt803 : I work hard and play even harder.

BigMatt803's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 4:01am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 5:42pm<b>scottishoatmeal</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 2:39am<b>kh5464</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 1:13am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 2:20pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 1:33am<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 10:02pm<b>Blodwast</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 2:36am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 1:14am<b>wansuhailah</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 1:23pm<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 1:04am<b>CrazyConfusing</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 11:17pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 11:10pm<b>christyyyy</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 6:19pm<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 11:49am<b>CinematicKid</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:56pm<b>hare</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 1:27pm<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 6:23am

Fucked!<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 7:14am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 5:11am<b>907frostygirl</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 6:14am

BigMatt803's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of BigMatt803's badges

BigMatt803's favorite FMLs

Today, my barber repeatedly threatened to stab me with scissors while I was getting my hair cut. FML

by oD_Ronan / 08/29/2013 at 3:39am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

by Anon / 08/04/2013 at 1:36am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML

by why mom, why? / 06/12/2013 at 12:59am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I was bombarded with phone calls from debt collectors. After some investigation, it turns out my grandma, who has dementia, has been going into our mailbox and throwing away the outgoing mail because it wasn't addressed to her. I'm now apparently 3 months behind in payments. FML

by redvolvo23 / 06/12/2013 at 12:57am / United States / Money

Today, some jackass in an Iron Man mask nailed me in the head with a quarter while I was helping other customers. Minimum wage isn't worth this crap. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:05am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 11:28pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

by heyyoitsapotato / 05/30/2013 at 10:35pm / United States / Work

Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML

by ewwww / 05/26/2013 at 1:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 12:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML

by some people's parents / 04/18/2013 at 12:01am / United States (Colorado) / Money

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

by QuinnyZebrass / 04/02/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

by fuckinghicks / 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 2:21pm / Germany (Saarland) / Holidays

Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous