About BigMatt803 : I work hard and play even harder.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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BigMatt803's favorite FMLs
by oD_Ronan / 08/29/2013 at 3:39am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 08/04/2013 at 1:36am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML
by why mom, why? / 06/12/2013 at 12:59am / United States (California) / Money
Today, I was bombarded with phone calls from debt collectors. After some investigation, it turns out my grandma, who has dementia, has been going into our mailbox and throwing away the outgoing mail because it wasn't addressed to her. I'm now apparently 3 months behind in payments. FML
by redvolvo23 / 06/12/2013 at 12:57am / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:05am / United States (Tennessee) / Work
Today, my boyfriend "finally figured out" that he couldn't possibly be the father of my child, and publicly broke up with me. When I reminded him that I was already pregnant when we first met, he "extra" broke up with me for making him look stupid. FML
by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 11:28pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
by heyyoitsapotato / 05/30/2013 at 10:35pm / United States / Work
by ewwww / 05/26/2013 at 1:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML
by Anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 12:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML
by some people's parents / 04/18/2013 at 12:01am / United States (Colorado) / Money
by QuinnyZebrass / 04/02/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
by fuckinghicks / 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 2:21pm / Germany (Saarland) / Holidays
by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
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- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to…