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AuricBeast

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AuricBeast
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 678
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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AuricBeast's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat pissed in my zen garden. FML

#14718702
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12826) - you deserved it (19477)

On 01/26/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by lizzy1843 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML

#14048289
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25225) - you deserved it (3240)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML

#13777689
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36493) - you deserved it (6655)

On 11/09/2010 at 1:32pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

#13466865
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25277) - you deserved it (2679)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:41am - work - by hannahj88 - Australia

Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML

#13419509
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6444) - you deserved it (37345)

On 10/12/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

#12879183
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28805) - you deserved it (4356)

On 09/03/2010 at 12:35am - kids - by Devon - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while having sex for our first time, my boyfriend decided to test out a theory he heard about, that conversation during sex makes it more enjoyable. His way of doing it? He looked me straight in the eye and asked "How 'bout them Brewers?" We're from Wisconsin. That's our local sports team. FML

#12037742
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25265) - you deserved it (4287)

On 07/22/2010 at 1:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while working at the bar, I was having a flawless night. Every pour was perfect, every shot expertly measured. I saw my manager for the first time that night, turned to greet him, and knocked over a tray of 30 or so glasses. Two remained unbroken. FML

#11945611
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28826) - you deserved it (4440)

On 07/17/2010 at 4:51pm - work - by barman - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend started to plan our wedding. He included a clown. FML

#11027844
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30289) - you deserved it (7201)

On 06/07/2010 at 2:43am - love - by soccerbooty - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to my dad why it is important for him to clear the browsing history after watching sexual explicit material on the family computer. FML

#9238749
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23836) - you deserved it (3356)

On 03/20/2010 at 4:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I helped a "blind" man across the street. He kindly said thank you and patted me on the back. Then, I went into a store and realized my wallet was missing. FML

#8840238
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22482) - you deserved it (2651)

On 03/05/2010 at 2:50am - misc - by whyymee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML

#8658955
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22113) - you deserved it (2385)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:17am - misc - by cman (man) - Romania (Iasi)

Today, I found out that, if timed just right, the alarm function on my phone can be disabled by a text message. And my dad has an impeccable sense of timing. I was 20 minutes late for work. FML

#7974349
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21681) - you deserved it (2679)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:58pm - work - by Ishii (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

#7662711
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5130) - you deserved it (23900)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - work - by ke (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML

#7541135
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35726) - you deserved it (2837)

On 01/24/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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