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AuricBeast

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AuricBeast
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 676
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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AuricBeast's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

#19477663
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21719) - you deserved it (2683)

On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML

#19340135
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13215) - you deserved it (3481)

On 03/24/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, two drop dead gorgeous Australians asked me for directions. Being so shocked by their beauty and accents, I couldn't get words out of my mouth. The one said to the other "Nope she doesn't speak English", then walked away. FML

#19337051
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17220) - you deserved it (8650)

On 03/24/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by jennag5 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23291) - you deserved it (6312)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my landlady roasted a joint of beef and the whole house smelled wonderful. OK, even if I am a masochistic vegetarian and former omnivore, that was way beyond cruel. FML

#19152969
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6076) - you deserved it (24460)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:28am - misc - by i2xl (woman) - Canada

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

#19102650
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18382) - you deserved it (4885)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother used global warming as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML

#19042129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25894) - you deserved it (2098)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium (Brabant Wallon)

Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML

#18950332
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16815) - you deserved it (2511)

On 01/30/2012 at 4:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I received a package from an unknown address. Inside were doll heads and cigarette butts. FML

#18903953
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23060) - you deserved it (1531)

On 01/24/2012 at 11:51pm - misc - by JellitonOctopus - United States (California)

Today, it's -20°C outside. Half way through my thirty minutes walk to work, my boss pulled up beside me in her car, said "You look cold. I'll see you at work." And then drove away. FML

#18898578
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32048) - you deserved it (2558)

On 01/24/2012 at 1:07pm - work - by emma209 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML

#18898180
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17322) - you deserved it (2762)

On 01/24/2012 at 11:42am - work - by communistgirl (woman) - United States

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31830) - you deserved it (4595)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML

#18659966
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21285) - you deserved it (6448)

On 12/31/2011 at 1:21am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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