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AuricBeast

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AuricBeast

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1144
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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AuricBeast's page activity

Visits<b>nite66</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 11:06pm<b>cookiesrcool1220</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 2:58pm<b>jossii</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 4:06am

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AuricBeast's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35429) - you deserved it (6788)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

#20525434
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29674) - you deserved it (2210)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by she sure has an arm. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

#20524572
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34670) - you deserved it (7181)

On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that the homeless people I give change to all dress better than I do, including the one that doesn't believe in pants. FML

#20522911
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13451) - you deserved it (21693)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:54am - misc - by keerow (man) - United States

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56162) - you deserved it (4520) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

#20521590
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45024) - you deserved it (7321)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I started to go down a hill. Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammed my brakes and blew a tire in the process. It turns out the police car was an old cutout used to trick people. FML

#20520975
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10332) - you deserved it (51179)

On 02/24/2013 at 10:41pm - misc - by Fox - United States

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31978) - you deserved it (3498)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30805) - you deserved it (3400)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

#20511821
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17214) - you deserved it (44302)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28493) - you deserved it (5995)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

#20505342
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40598) - you deserved it (4553)

On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31482) - you deserved it (4373)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML

#20487313
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34767) - you deserved it (2400)

On 01/31/2013 at 5:28am - health - by I'maboutobarf - Australia

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

#20486320
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34281) - you deserved it (2835)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)



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