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Almost_Positive

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Almost_Positive

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 October 1998 (15 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 48
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Almost_Positive : My username probably describes me

Almost_Positive's page activity

Visits<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 8:13pm<b>jchilds</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 4:21pm<b>echosong</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 12:03pm<b>Dogfoodlid</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 5:14am<b>fml85483</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:13pm<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:56pm<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 7:27am<b>Fawn_Delmee</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 1:35am<b>Mynameislinh</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 9:52pm<b>missy_prissy_</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 5:54pm<b>wassuploves</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:06pm<b>LeSquishy</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 3:58pm<b>amamalfoy</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:59pm<b>bluestrawberry17</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 1:44pm<b>LeaTaylor</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:32am<b>boss234</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:13am<b>Crofty92</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:51am<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 6:30am

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Almost_Positive's favorite FMLs

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

#20947052
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41821) - you deserved it (10177)

On 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm - love - by Trapped. (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52322) - you deserved it (3289)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML

#14689182
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34599) - you deserved it (6398)

On 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the birthmark I have on my chest isn't a birthmark at all; it's a third nipple. FML

#14534141
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38033) - you deserved it (4065)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:35pm - health - by triplenipple (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I was going to my first job interview since I was laid off. About 10 yards from the door, I felt a sharp pain in my side and something in my pocket. It turned out to be a knife in my side, and a mugger robbing me because I looked rich. I haven't had any money in months, and missed the interview. FML

#13544893
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44597) - you deserved it (2443)

On 10/22/2010 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

#13220186
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16048) - you deserved it (25898)

On 09/27/2010 at 7:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had an interview. I didn't get the job because apparently customers might not understand me, since I "talk too good." I just graduated with an English degree. FML

#11808834
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33518) - you deserved it (3059)

On 07/11/2010 at 10:44am - work - by alejandro38 - United States (New York)

Today, I told a girl she was beautiful on the inside and out. She still didn't sleep with me. FML

#7520375
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6470) - you deserved it (62149)

On 01/23/2010 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by MackeyBoy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49833) - you deserved it (7887)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I come home for lunch. I see a sandwich on the table with a note saying "I hope we can have a healthy new relationship, Love, Carissa." I see another note from my girlfriend next to it saying "I hope you enjoy your new relationship with Carissa." Carissa is my new step mother. FML

#7226236
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29769) - you deserved it (2300)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:45pm - misc - by SingleWorker (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML

#6934352
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7394) - you deserved it (48562)

On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17126) - you deserved it (68334)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States



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