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Almost_Positive

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Almost_Positive

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 October 1998 (15 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 131
  • Number of comments : 89
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Almost_Positive : :)

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Visits<b>danthehuman</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 8:49pm<b>RokNRoll11</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:23pm<b>IntoYourIcyBlues</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 10:20am<b>gramination1290</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:59am<b>denisse_p</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:17pm<b>Emiler98</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 12:07am<b>TheOnlyKittyKat</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:26pm<b>OPIAF</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 8:54pm<b>xxrogerthatxx</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:58pm<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:37pm<b>DiamondGirlj</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:02am<b>zoeconner</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 9:43pm<b>StupidlyCute</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 3:11pm<b>ekaat11</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 1:36pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 11:55am<b>RoVeR_2000</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 9:19am<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 8:26am<b>BakenWake420</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 1:41am

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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Almost_Positive's favorite FMLs

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

#20947052
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41852) - you deserved it (10184)

On 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm - love - by Trapped. (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52346) - you deserved it (3292)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54821) - you deserved it (5408)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML

#14689182
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34655) - you deserved it (6400)

On 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the birthmark I have on my chest isn't a birthmark at all; it's a third nipple. FML

#14534141
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38063) - you deserved it (4065)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:35pm - health - by triplenipple (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I was going to my first job interview since I was laid off. About 10 yards from the door, I felt a sharp pain in my side and something in my pocket. It turned out to be a knife in my side, and a mugger robbing me because I looked rich. I haven't had any money in months, and missed the interview. FML

#13544893
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44711) - you deserved it (2449)

On 10/22/2010 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

#13220186
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16056) - you deserved it (25932)

On 09/27/2010 at 7:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had an interview. I didn't get the job because apparently customers might not understand me, since I "talk too good." I just graduated with an English degree. FML

#11808834
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33545) - you deserved it (3060)

On 07/11/2010 at 10:44am - work - by alejandro38 - United States (New York)

Today, I told a girl she was beautiful on the inside and out. She still didn't sleep with me. FML

#7520375
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6562) - you deserved it (62688)

On 01/23/2010 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by MackeyBoy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49890) - you deserved it (7888)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I come home for lunch. I see a sandwich on the table with a note saying "I hope we can have a healthy new relationship, Love, Carissa." I see another note from my girlfriend next to it saying "I hope you enjoy your new relationship with Carissa." Carissa is my new step mother. FML

#7226236
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30065) - you deserved it (2326)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:45pm - misc - by SingleWorker (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML

#6934352
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7404) - you deserved it (48621)

On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17134) - you deserved it (68366)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML

#3648052
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24711) - you deserved it (65639)

On 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm - love - by failhusband (man) - United States (Utah)



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