Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Almost_Positive

Online | Search for a member

Almost_Positive

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 October 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 318
  • Number of comments : 97
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Almost_Positive : What am I doing with my life


:)

Almost_Positive's page activity

Visits<b>cmchappy</b> - 6 hours ago<b>WhiteZoneRedZone</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 1:14pm<b>capslockisgood</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 12:49pm<b>danthehuman</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 8:50am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 6:47am<b>Chloe_C_H</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 4:23pm<b>DragonKat</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 3:20pm<b>slayer447</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 5:58am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 12:35am<b>na_alpine</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 11:42pm<b>petrine</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 7:46pm<b>smitzer</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 6:38pm<b>KitchKraft</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 5:50pm<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 4:39pm<b>firefighterwife</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 2:29pm<b>skittycat213</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 1:16pm<b>sothisisreal</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 12:15pm<b>Amant97</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 10:23am

Almost_Positive's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of Almost_Positive's badges

Almost_Positive's favorite FMLs

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually tried to justify his cheating by saying it doesn't count as cheating if the girl's bisexual. FML

#21288568
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32356) - you deserved it (2508)

On 10/30/2014 at 6:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36221) - you deserved it (10567)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

#20947052
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41933) - you deserved it (10206)

On 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm - love - by Trapped. (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52443) - you deserved it (3300)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55735) - you deserved it (5496)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58152) - you deserved it (7180)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML

#14689182
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35086) - you deserved it (6450)

On 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the birthmark I have on my chest isn't a birthmark at all; it's a third nipple. FML

#14534141
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38167) - you deserved it (4075)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:35pm - health - by triplenipple (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I was going to my first job interview since I was laid off. About 10 yards from the door, I felt a sharp pain in my side and something in my pocket. It turned out to be a knife in my side, and a mugger robbing me because I looked rich. I haven't had any money in months, and missed the interview. FML

#13544893
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45284) - you deserved it (2480)

On 10/22/2010 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

#13220186
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16107) - you deserved it (25994)

On 09/27/2010 at 7:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had an interview. I didn't get the job because apparently customers might not understand me, since I "talk too good." I just graduated with an English degree. FML

#11808834
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33628) - you deserved it (3067)

On 07/11/2010 at 10:44am - work - by alejandro38 - United States (New York)

Today, I told a girl she was beautiful on the inside and out. She still didn't sleep with me. FML

#7520375
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6591) - you deserved it (63016)

On 01/23/2010 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by MackeyBoy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50056) - you deserved it (7896)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: