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Almost_Positive

Offline (the 03/19/2015 at 5:48am) | Search for a member

Almost_Positive

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 October 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 512
  • Number of comments : 109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Almost_Positive : I'm not funny sorry

Almost_Positive's page activity

Visits<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 2:44pm<b>bearclawz44</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 10:42pm<b>Zoldyck</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 5:47pm<b>Adnan1997</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 5:59pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 10:44pm<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 5:37pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 2:05pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:24am<b>thisismyhead</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:38am<b>5secondsofvvifi</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 2:59pm<b>ken29</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 12:14am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 3:24pm<b>Riie</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 6:07pm<b>asiakvt</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 1:26pm<b>Zacky_Chan</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 9:25am<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 8:02pm<b>423</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 6:11pm<b>AshesNicole623</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 10:53pm

Liked!<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 2:02am<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 10:14am

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Almost_Positive's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML

#21318606
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24429) - you deserved it (33193)

On 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm - health - by fuck - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

#21312961
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21243) - you deserved it (34015)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:10am - misc - by .__. (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually tried to justify his cheating by saying it doesn't count as cheating if the girl's bisexual. FML

#21288568
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32583) - you deserved it (2518)

On 10/30/2014 at 6:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37594) - you deserved it (10946)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

#20947052
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42031) - you deserved it (10226)

On 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm - love - by Trapped. (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54098) - you deserved it (3428)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56500) - you deserved it (5580)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58354) - you deserved it (7195)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML

#14689182
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36762) - you deserved it (6659)

On 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the birthmark I have on my chest isn't a birthmark at all; it's a third nipple. FML

#14534141
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39479) - you deserved it (4176)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:35pm - health - by triplenipple (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I was going to my first job interview since I was laid off. About 10 yards from the door, I felt a sharp pain in my side and something in my pocket. It turned out to be a knife in my side, and a mugger robbing me because I looked rich. I haven't had any money in months, and missed the interview. FML

#13544893
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45438) - you deserved it (2489)

On 10/22/2010 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

#13220186
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16206) - you deserved it (26117)

On 09/27/2010 at 7:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had an interview. I didn't get the job because apparently customers might not understand me, since I "talk too good." I just graduated with an English degree. FML

#11808834
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33796) - you deserved it (3071)

On 07/11/2010 at 10:44am - work - by alejandro38 - United States (New York)



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