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AlexandriaMgmt

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AlexandriaMgmt
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 862
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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AlexandriaMgmt's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML

#14150271
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22831) - you deserved it (8074)

On 12/10/2010 at 2:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML

#13947465
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7595) - you deserved it (54185)

On 11/23/2010 at 8:41am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML

#13937694
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27949) - you deserved it (9497)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

#13799884
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13474) - you deserved it (25231)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After about minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43595) - you deserved it (16155)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he had ever cheated on me. In the most sincere and honest tone, he said "if I ever have or ever will, there's no way you would ever find out. I love you too much to lose you", and gave me a hug. FML

#13697546
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30497) - you deserved it (7151)

On 11/03/2010 at 2:40am - intimacy - by spockswifey - United States

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47435) - you deserved it (3270)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML

#13118537
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13396) - you deserved it (37413)

On 09/19/2010 at 8:07pm - misc - by whitefox123 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

#12316575
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28407) - you deserved it (32120)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home to my boyfriend wearing one of my pads on his hand, because he didn't want to pay to go to the hospital for stitches. FML

#12022109
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24848) - you deserved it (3406)

On 07/21/2010 at 9:52am - health - by blank - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML

#8980623
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28174) - you deserved it (4633)

On 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by cmore - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

#8889344
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21564) - you deserved it (4564)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

#8875274
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18808) - you deserved it (1658)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by ThoroughlyCreepedOut (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

#8822462
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29631) - you deserved it (8456)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I was at a concert and an older man offered to let me stand in front of him because I'm short. It wasn't until the show started and people were jumping around did I realize he had a boner and was repeatedly bumping into me. FML

#8765268
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17421) - you deserved it (2093)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Lin - United States (California)



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