AlexandriaMgmt

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AlexandriaMgmt

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1963
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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AlexandriaMgmt's page activity

Visits<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 12:37pm

Fucked!<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 6:37pm

AlexandriaMgmt's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

AlexandriaMgmt's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

by someone / 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my dad came home and said that he was so inspired by hip hop dancers on TV that he decided to take a hip hop dance class. He signed up for the class that my girlfriend teaches. FML

by Username / 07/21/2011 at 7:14am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years still refuses to memorize my phone number or remember my birthday because he says there is a limited amount of space in his brain and he does not want to push any important information out. FML

by skidoosh / 07/13/2011 at 9:44pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

by Username / 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

by Scarlett / 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, sun was shining and I felt confident enough to go sunbathing at the beach. In only my bikini and towel, I laid out to get some sun. A while later, a little girl came up to me and said, "Aren't you embarrassed that you're so huge?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 1:31pm / United States (California) / Holidays

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, I walked ten miles to pick up my car from the towing station. Turns out there was enough change for the parking meter in the glovebox after all. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2011 at 4:44am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Transportation

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

by howler / 02/15/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

by seepeezy32 / 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm / Intimacy

Today, while presenting a project I've worked on for months, one of the professors exasperatedly cut in mid-sentence, saying, "Look, it's shit. Just stop already." FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2011 at 12:00pm / Slovakia (Bratislava) / Miscellaneous

Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm / Belgium / Miscellaneous

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 4:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to contact my birth mother, who abandoned me when I was three weeks old. After months of tracing, I finally plucked up the courage to call her. She told me to "f*ck off and die". FML

by unfortunategeek / 12/23/2010 at 11:13am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous