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AlexandriaMgmt

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AlexandriaMgmt

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  • Number of visits : 1228
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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AlexandriaMgmt's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

#17298408
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29798) - you deserved it (4876)

On 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm - misc - by someone - United States

Today, my dad came home and said that he was so inspired by hip hop dancers on TV that he decided to take a hip hop dance class. He signed up for the class that my girlfriend teaches. FML

#17201461
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32113) - you deserved it (3427)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:14am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years still refuses to memorize my phone number or remember my birthday because he says there is a limited amount of space in his brain and he does not want to push any important information out. FML

#17099687
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27415) - you deserved it (6222)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:44pm - love - by skidoosh (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64508) - you deserved it (6742)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36714) - you deserved it (14242)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44772) - you deserved it (5616)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

Today, sun was shining and I felt confident enough to go sunbathing at the beach. In only my bikini and towel, I laid out to get some sun. A while later, a little girl came up to me and said, "Aren't you embarrassed that you're so huge?" FML

#15621262
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37934) - you deserved it (10097)

On 04/03/2011 at 1:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37192) - you deserved it (31513)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I walked ten miles to pick up my car from the towing station. Turns out there was enough change for the parking meter in the glovebox after all. FML

#15099296
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11655) - you deserved it (22901)

On 02/24/2011 at 4:44am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

#14985467
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10028) - you deserved it (58763)

On 02/15/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by howler (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18684) - you deserved it (64870)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, while presenting a project I've worked on for months, one of the professors exasperatedly cut in mid-sentence, saying, "Look, it's shit. Just stop already." FML

#14742599
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28344) - you deserved it (4109)

On 01/28/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML

#14614725
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59115) - you deserved it (6117) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Belgium - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

#14575088
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17908) - you deserved it (31459)

On 01/14/2011 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to contact my birth mother, who abandoned me when I was three weeks old. After months of tracing, I finally plucked up the courage to call her. She told me to "f*ck off and die". FML

#14310097
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49772) - you deserved it (6657)

On 12/23/2010 at 11:13am - misc - by unfortunategeek - United Kingdom



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