AlexandriaMgmt

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AlexandriaMgmt

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1962
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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AlexandriaMgmt's page activity

Visits<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 12:37pm

Fucked!<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 6:37pm

AlexandriaMgmt's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

AlexandriaMgmt's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML

by rplovez / 09/05/2011 at 7:14pm / Canada / Transportation

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

by thatoneguy / 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML

by ddll / 09/04/2011 at 9:27pm / Singapore / Love

Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years old. FML

by AMP4U / 08/30/2011 at 9:28pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pounds father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

by CooBerry3851 / 08/28/2011 at 4:27am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML

by Revalation / 08/27/2011 at 7:06pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I walked in on my new college roommate holding his cock. He said "Hi I'm Jeffrey, and this is Jeffrey junior" while directing attention towards his penis. It's going to be a long semester. FML

by InAnAwkwardSituation / 08/25/2011 at 1:26am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

by aprilfools22 / 08/17/2011 at 4:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML

by fml / 08/12/2011 at 2:14am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML

by MrOh / 08/09/2011 at 1:29pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2011 at 3:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

by soccerbuddyz / 08/03/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids