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AlexandriaMgmt

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AlexandriaMgmt

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  • Number of visits : 1044
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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AlexandriaMgmt's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML

#17673580
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24943) - you deserved it (3525)

On 09/05/2011 at 7:14pm - love - by rplovez (woman) - Canada

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

#17672212
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28945) - you deserved it (2993)

On 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm - kids - by thatoneguy - United States (Texas)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML

#17664853
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26779) - you deserved it (10991)

On 09/04/2011 at 9:27pm - love - by ddll (man) - Singapore

Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years old. FML

#17624611
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23006) - you deserved it (6748)

On 08/30/2011 at 9:28pm - love - by AMP4U - United States (California)

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pounds father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

#17602503
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28173) - you deserved it (2801)

On 08/28/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by CooBerry3851 - United States (Washington)

Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML

#17597780
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27027) - you deserved it (2579)

On 08/27/2011 at 7:06pm - misc - by Revalation - United States

Today, I walked in on my new college roommate holding his cock. He said "Hi I'm Jeffrey, and this is Jeffrey junior" while directing attention towards his penis. It's going to be a long semester. FML

#17574583
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34538) - you deserved it (2553)

On 08/25/2011 at 1:26am - intimacy - by InAnAwkwardSituation - United States (New York)

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

#17497586
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24433) - you deserved it (11193)

On 08/17/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by aprilfools22 - United States (California)

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27676) - you deserved it (3332)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML

#17447150
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23324) - you deserved it (27059)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:14am - intimacy - by fml - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML

#17418285
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33917) - you deserved it (4011)

On 08/09/2011 at 1:29pm - love - by MrOh - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52371) - you deserved it (3498)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34560) - you deserved it (3443)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53157) - you deserved it (3267)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML

#17302566
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28187) - you deserved it (17034)

On 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)



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