Today, my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. Why? Our one month old's hair is growing in blonde, and we both have dark hair. Did I cheat? No. I had blonde hair as a child until I was 4... As did every one else born in my family. I guess this factor doesn't count when you're paranoid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35691) - you totally deserved it (2797)
On 09/14/2009 at 10:13am - love - by babymomma (woman) - United States (Florida)
Aw hell, this is going to start the "YDI, get married first" comments.
#1 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:03pm by Witchcraft
No, not YDI. We're not all living in a Catholic confinement.
For all those saying "YDI for having a child out of wedlock", fuck all your lives for being stuck-up, closed-minded, uptight pricks.
#86 - On 09/14/2009 at 3:35pm by Witchcraft
YDI for having a kid with someone that insecure before you got married. If there are trust issues, then don't have a kid....
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uhm yeah YDI
1 4 being w/ a guy that insecure not to trust that u wouldnt cheat
2 for not explaining about the hair color thing n calling a relative to prove it 4 u
3 yeah uh thats on u 4 having a kid out of wedlock...had u been married im sure he would of at the least given u time to explain.
(then again u were w/ the guy not me so hf w/ that)
#173 - On 09/14/2009 at 5:33pm by inconvienentgurl
Totally agree with the (original) post!!
Marriage is not for everyone, and definitely not a requirement for having children!
On a side note:
Your (ex?)boyfriend will never be happy if he's so paranoid.
~______~
#194 - On 09/14/2009 at 6:34pm by andrea_beretta
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marriage SHOULD be a requirement for being able to reproduce, and not even from a religious standpoint. at least then you have a stable family situation (and it's been proven that kids from two-parent homes are usually less fucked-up than those from single parent homes). then we'd have a lot less single moms running around wasting court time on getting their child support payments. plus, it's a lot harder to get divorced than it is to just break up. this forces you to deal with problems rather than just be like peace the fuck out. i don't understand why you'd have a child (a very important life decision) when you might not be in a committed, long-term relationship. if you're not willing to commit to marriage you shouldn't commit to having a child.
#200 - On 09/14/2009 at 7:18pm by RyeBreadBoy
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YDI for being a dumb bitch and not using a condom.
#210 - On 09/14/2009 at 8:32pm by wzsnaks_923
@200: Scandinavian countries are very non-religious and more than half of the children there are born to couples out of wedlock. Last I checked they were doing just fine. I won't argue that its not a good idea for children to be born to parents in long-term relationships, because it is. But that doesn't really depend on marriage. As a non-religious person, why should I care to have my long-term relationship sanctified or approved by god?
It is not about getting sanctified by god or getting his approval. If they had got married according to Law and had it registered, the guy would not have been able to just walk out. I mean now he just broke up with the OP if they were married they would have had to go through a lengthy procedure of divorce, that would have given OP some time to explain. Common Sense isn't it??
OP you should have thought of marriage before having a child not from a religious point of view but from a social security point of view. You man couldn't have just walked away if you were married, could he??
#230 - On 09/14/2009 at 10:28pm by metheonlyb
I say YDI because I'm assuming you wanted to have the baby's father in his life. If that was important to you, than you SHOULD have waited till your boyfriend or someone else was willing to commit to marriage.
Of course a woman can have a baby while unmarried if she wants to, but then she shouldn't complain if the father doesn't stick around, which is what OP is doing.
#232 - On 09/14/2009 at 10:32pm by hellocello600
Well, Johnny Depp had two kids out of wedlock. And if Johnny Depp says it's okay, than it must be.
Seeing as he's the epitome of win, anyway.
=P
#272 - On 09/15/2009 at 2:29am by Witchcraft
What the f*** is your boyfriend a retard!? Hair colour can go back from generations, my friend is a ranga and her great aunt is the only one in the family with red hair. Your boyfriend is clearly too idiotic to even look after a child.
#282 - On 09/15/2009 at 5:00am by sophiepento
Sorry to reply to the first comment, but the OP needs to read this. Anyone with a basic understanding of genetics could see that it is very much possible for two people with brown hair to have a blonde child.
There are always two alleles per trait. In order to have a blonde child, you must have two blonde alleles, since blonde hair is recessive. But, since brown hair is a dominant gene, you only need one brown hair allele to have that hair color. Lets call brown hair B and blonde hair b. You (the OP) most likely have Bb alleles since you had blonde hair as a child. And it is just as likely that you ex-boyfriend had Bb alleles, too. You both can only pass down one allele per trait, and it is very possible that you both just so happened to pass down the recessive b trait. So your child would have bb alleles, and therefore have blonde hair. Simple.
If you explain this to him (or force him to take a course on genetics) he will easily see that you did not cheat. This is very simple genetics as I explained before.
#286 - On 09/15/2009 at 7:33am by Just2InformYou
Wow people, what the hell? being so rude to her and saying she deserves it when you don't even know all of the details! Think of all the variables here:
To those saying she should have married first-Do you really think that would have stopped him from walking out? All it would have done is make the breakup process longer... And as if marriage
is really an excuse? There are people who get married after knowing each other for less than 6 months, have a kid, and are divorced a year later...I would say they waited a while to have a kid.
She should have used birth control- They were together 5 years, what's to say that she wasn't and that it simply didn't work? Birth control isn't foolproof.
She said he's paranoid...maybe he's been cheated on in a past relationship? or maybe she's cheated on him before? We don't know!
I do agree that she needs to do a DNA test...or maybe in the time everyone here has been griping, he realized how stupid he was and is now taking responsibility for the child.
GROW UP AND OPEN YOUR CLOSED MINDS. People have had kids outside of wedlock since humans existed. It's nothing new, it's just more talked about now.
THIS. The YDI's aren't all coming from Catholic assholes. It's simple as this: If you're gonna risk bringing a new life into the world, be responsible and make sure it has a good life to be born into.
#315 - On 09/16/2009 at 2:55pm by justjayit
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Get an abortion.
#3 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:05pm by amandawins
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Trying to figure out if you were educated in America or attempting to be witty...
drawing a blank.
#134 - On 09/14/2009 at 4:32pm by T_r_i_c_k_Y
I must have missed the part in health class where you can abort a ONE MONTH OLD CHILD. Will you please explain how this is possible?
#147 - On 09/14/2009 at 4:47pm by akvandervort
poor you! but you dont need that ass of a boyfriend if thats how he treats you!
#4 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:06pm by cheezburgergirl
YDI for buying into the BS that it is ok to have kids without getting married.
#5 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:06pm by I_am_stupid_also
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You deserve your username for buying into the BS that it is NOT ok to have kids without getting married.
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#49 is a fag. And OP, YDI for sleeping with someone with special needs.
Oh... erm... wow... I'm a fag? Wow, so good to know that A) random trolls know ALLLLL about my personal life, and B) said random trolls are too dickless to even add any personal info to their profile. Shock horror.
Minus 50 points for being unoriginal.
Minus 30 for being unfunny.
Minus 20 for being you.
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
And -4 billion for trying too hard, #49.
#80 - On 09/14/2009 at 3:26pm by InfectedWithDrew
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"For... "try too hard"...? Yes, I THINK we've found the Missing Link, ladies and gentlemen!"
... was what I was about to post, before you rather desperately edited your "comment". Q.E.D.
Some of you are trying way too hard to appear smart. It's obvious KaySL is superior to you all and wins the argument.
#138 - On 09/14/2009 at 4:36pm by Witchcraft
I heart KaySL, so therefore she wins. =)
And because she's in the "Plexico have my babies" club. =)
#186 - On 09/14/2009 at 6:06pm by XOfiestypixie
FYL. He sounds like a dick, you're probably better off.
I was born with pitch black hair, and then when I was about 2-3 it turned really light blonde, so I know where you're coming from.
You could explain to your BF that two dark-haired people could have a blond child due to recessive genes, or just get a paternity test and make his dumb ass pay for it.
#8 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:07pm by Optimistic9
paternity test ftw! at least get child support and find another guy with some class.
#222 - On 09/14/2009 at 9:39pm by amazingkate
wtf no.3 she had the baby a month ago!
also no. 5 HOW DARE YOU!!!! i was born before my parents got married, i was flower girl at the wedding, i had white blonde hair when my parents have dark, but thats becuz both of my parents did, they are still in love many years later, why just yesterday i was with them at a party and they were slow dancing to a gooshy love song!
#10 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:08pm by cheezburgergirl
You are very fortunate, as I am because actually come from a similar background. But after my dad walked out on us, my mom found a great guy to marry her and take in me and my sisters. But the fact is that you and I are in the minority when it comes to what happens to such kids.
#15 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:14pm by I_am_stupid_also
I was born before my parents got married, by almost 2 years, and they are still very much in love with each other. And yah, it's actually pretty rare.
And... I had really really light blonde hair, but now it's like...a light brown/dark blonde.
#201 - On 09/14/2009 at 7:20pm by RazorFox16
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You should have gotten married first. At least talked about the genetics of your family before your little bastard was to be born.
Shame on you, I feel for your innocent child.
#13 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:13pm by imrighturwrong
I feel sorry for any child of any religious nutcase who actually uses the proper use of the word "bastard".
If you are talking about your genetics while having a baby, it shouldn't be "our hair looks blond sometimes" and shit like that, it should be "My family has a history of sickle cell and we should go talk to a doctor about that possibility"
#5- I shouldn't even debate this with you.
But how do you know who was born to married parents or not? It's very common, I wouldn't go voicing those opinions too loudly if I were you.
#14 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:14pm by withmywideeyes
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Among people are not in poverty it is actually fairly uncommon.
#20 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:18pm by I_am_stupid_also
Just stop talking. You're an idiot.
Having a child before marriage is common ANYWHERE. In fact, I know way more people that were born out of wedlock than people that were born after their parents got married.
Hahaha, I can see you keeping the tally of people you meet. "Excuse me, yeah, just a quick question before we can actually get to know eachother - were you born out of wedlock? I have to compile statistics to use in arguments on the internet."
#40 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:37pm by BlueBomber
out of 10 of my friends, 4 of them were born before their parents were married. 2 of them have parents who never got married and simply live together as life partners. we are all middle class and white.
you are a naive asshole.
#72 - On 09/14/2009 at 3:14pm by greenrapsody
This comment and the proceeding arguments really made me wonder what the rate of children born out of wedlock really is. In my experience, most of the pregnancy stories I've heard have involved either marriage and intentional baby creation, or unintentional baby creation and subsequent marriage. However, I'm pretty young, so most of the pregnancy stories I've heard are from births before 2000. Also, I wondered how someone could know statistics regarding the quality of life for babies born out of wedlock. I decided to investigate, and I thought I'd share the information because LEARNING IS FUN.
As a caveat, I investigated statistics of the United States only, because a) I live in the United States, and b) I should only really be expected to know statistics about the country I live in, since it's the one I can make a difference for. This is the website I looked at, and I feel it is a reliable source of information: "Child Trends DataBank," www.childtrendsdatabank.org
For one, the most recent rate is 2004, but the estimate for 2005 is 36.8 percent. However, in order to have statistics of the quality of life for a person born out of wedlock, they must have been born a while ago. The average rate of births out of wedlock between about 1980 and 1995 was 25 percent. The rate of births out of wedlock in 1960 was 5.6 percent, and has been steadily increasing since. Children born out of wedlock tend to experience poverty, have low education levels, be sexually active younger, and produce their own premarital babies.
Still, what I found most interesting were the statistics about unmarried women who give birth, because this proves indeed whether OP's life is fucked. Compared to women who give birth while married, those who are unmarried not only tend to be poorer, but have a greater risk of being poor at ages 65 and 75. They also tend to have lower educational levels, like their children, and greater dependence on welfare assistance.
I was born out of wedlock, to a 17 and 20 year old. I too experienced poverty, and my education level is lower than I'd like it to be. However, I plan on having a child after I get married. Being poor sucked, and having separated parents sucked too. I want my kids to have at least 3 different cereals to choose from, and fuck if I'll be a single mom, so getting married seems like not a big sacrifice to increase my chances of doing what I want to do in life.
OP, FYL for having a greater risk of a decreased quality of life.
"As your body grows bigger..
Your mind grows flowered...
It's great to learn,
Cause knowledge is power!"
#156
"Children born out of wedlock tend to experience poverty, have low education levels, be sexually active younger, and produce their own premarital babies." Umm, you do realise poverty causes the other two?
It seems to me like a case of correlation=/= causation. Just because children born out of wedlock tend to expierience poverty doesn't mean the fact that the children were born out of wedlock caused it.
Poor people (especially teens) fuck more when they're younger because they have poor education levels and....poor life gotta suck and be really fucking boring so they need something to do :P . This causes babies to be born out of wedlock. And, since they're born poor already they're gonna havfe to go through poverty
What a jerk! He has obveously never taken a biology class, bc if he did he would know that blonde hair can result from two dark haired people. He also could have taken a paternity test if he really didn't think he was the father.
What an idiot. Even if he didnt believe the blonde-turning-brown-at-4 thing, blonde hair is recessive and if you both carry the recessive gene, they both could have been passed to the child resulting in blonde hair. Hopefully this dimwit didnt pass his retard genes onto your child.
yeah, you only know of sure the kid isn't yours is if two blonds have a dark haired baby. and probably even then it may be possible through a fluke.
#224 - On 09/14/2009 at 9:56pm by amazingkate
Well there's an easy way to settle this: "On the next 'Maury'..."
#21 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:18pm by krusader42
haha, win!
although jeremy kyle would be better purely for the "eh excuse me! it says JEREMY KYLE on the wall, not YOUR name.. it's MY show, okay? shut up"
#23 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:20pm by repyourcliche
If he was going to leave her over it with them not married he'd probably do the same if they were married. Fathers that are married to the mother's walk out all the time. It's not just something that happens to people who aren't married to each other.
OP - That sucks, but you deserve better than him.
#24 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:20pm by TotalPandamonium
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It's been said already, but YDI for not waiting until marriage.
So she's going to live a structured life is she?
You don't have to be married to have a child. |:
#63 - On 09/14/2009 at 3:03pm by _cheeseballs
I'm sick of morons like #63 who get angry at the folks who post 'you should have waited until marriage.' If you're telling those people that it's not okay - by YOUR standards - you are a hypocrite.
Fucking idiots, shut the hell up and let people believe what they want to, whether or not you agree with it. That's part of life.
#98 - On 09/14/2009 at 3:48pm by premiermois
Shhhhh... calm down... take a moment out... ahhh...
I suppose what I'm attempting to convey are the words "you're a hypocritical fucktard". They're posting their conservative opinion; we're posting ours. Some are more likely to get pissy than others. You, sir, are one of them.
Believing that people should be married before they have children is neither conservative or liberal. There are many conservatives who have children before/without marriage just as there are many liberals who wait until marriage before trying to have children.
In the past 4 years I've had a roommate who was as liberal as they come but believed that sex before marriage was wrong, and I've had a very conservative roommate who has a baby on the way outside of marriage.
#126 - On 09/14/2009 at 4:24pm by GotWhateverItIs
petition family court for a DNA test, then he can look like the asshole he is and it'll be public record. good luck hun.
#26 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:21pm by AshleyRose784
Plexico knocks another one out of the park FTW
Just forgot to tell mom to save at least SOME of the child support for bail and lawyers.
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Yeah... you should be married to your baby's father.
#28 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:22pm by IHaveVertigo
Make him get a paternity test and then sue him for child support.
I was born with white, curly hair, while my dad has black hair and my mom has brown hair. When I got into grade school, my hair turned light blonde, and has gotten steadily darker and straighter. Now I'm twenty, and if I didn't dye my hair it would probably be about the same shade as my dad's. So yeah, it definitely can happen.
#29 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:22pm by MURPHYCHACHO
Paternity test, child support. What a stupid guy.
My son was born with dark hair that went ginger. We were baffled. Then one day he was sitting on my husbands lap and we saw it was the same color as the undertones of his facial hair. Then it grew in blond and for a while he had blond hair with red tips. People made stupid comments all the time asking me if I dyed his hair. Then the ginger faded out completely and it was all bright blond. Then I got more stupid comments asking who the father was since we both are brunette. My husband was blond until he was 3 and his brother was platinum blond until he was 7. Now his hair blond on the top and growing in brown underneath. Wow big surprise. *eye roll*
Our infant daughter was born with masses of almost black hair, it faded to brown, and now she has patches of light brown/blond with a ginger tint growing in. Kids hair changes. People are dumb.
My daughter was also born with black hair, but now it's faded to a light reddish brown color.
#33 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:27pm by TotalPandamonium
Most babies' hair changes dramatically. I was born with red hair, and although I still have red in my hair (as well as brown) I'm predominantly blonde. Not even strawberry blonde because the red is too hidden to come through enough.
#41 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:40pm by XOfiestypixie
I'm a rainbow brite, too, pixie. Sometimes it looks almost black, but mostly auburn/some light streaks.
Born blue eyed; now a green eyed imp :] Kinda thought this was normal enough...?
Whoo! I'm rainbow haired too (when I'm not dying it). It's light brown with a definite red tone and some blonde highlights. My eyes were originally really blue, now they're more of a denim blue-gray.
#112 - On 09/14/2009 at 4:10pm by Intoxicunt
Ha, I was born with dark brown hair and now I'm blonde and both my parents are redheads. Everyone can change their hair/eye color though.
The boyfriend is almost as stupid as the person who wrote this FML:
http://www.fmylife.com/kids/767
#124 - On 09/14/2009 at 4:24pm by redbluegreen
Woot for us! =)
I was born with grey-blue eyes, but now they change colours depending on the colours I'm wearing...though usually their some shade of green. =)
#188 - On 09/14/2009 at 6:10pm by XOfiestypixie
Genetics fail. Blonde hair is a recessive trait, it's entirely possible for a person with dark hair to be a carrier for the blonde gene, and if both parents are there's a 25% chance any child will be born blonde.
Not to mention hair color at birth is not an indication of what final hair color is.
I was born with light hair, and I have dark brown hair. Additionally, despite both of my parents having dark hair, my brother has blonde hair.
YDI for having a child with a guy who never took (or probably failed) high school biology.
#31 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:22pm by wildfire393
Exactly. Both of my parents have dark brown hair.
They have four children. Two of my siblings and I have brown hair.
My other sister, has blond hair.
Obviously my parents were both heterozygous, Bb x Bb.
Also, babies usually have fair hair and light eyes because it takes a little while for them to produce melanin. Melanin is the pigment that determines your skin, hair, and eye color.
I hate to repeat what everyone else is saying, but you probably should've gotten married before you had that baby. I'm not trying to make judgements on people who were or weren't born to married parents, I'm just saying that marriage is a legal binding contract that takes some effort and justification to get out of, it takes a while and you could probably get alimony. But since a boyfriend doesn't have the same legal status as a husband, you've got nothing, and he can just walk away, especially if he believes the kid isn't his. I'm thinking he would have been less likely to just walk away if it were more complicated. That kind of instability can't be good for a kid, so there's my justification at saying you should have gotten married.
Anyway, if I were you I would get a DNA test, prove the kid is his, and get child support from the asshole, but never take him back.
#34 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:27pm by wearinsexypants
I'm almost certain they came up with this new crazy idea of divorce recently, allowing a husband to walk away, just as a boyfriend could. Sure, there are those annoying road bumps like paperwork and attorneys, but hey! You're out! And that's all that matters, right champ? ;)
/sarcasm
Your view is ridiculous- Especially if your only motive for marrying someone is so they can't leave you, and would have to pay alimoney if they DID leave you, that's fucked up. Many, many, many people have children and NEVER marry and wind up happy as they could ever be. On the other side of the coin, many, many, many people DO marry and get divorced, and the child gets raised in an instable environment anyway.
Your argument holds no water and it simply isn't your place to judge.
#39 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:35pm by rayrayy
Wow, hey. From where I stand, it looks like you're judging me.
I said at the beginning of my comment, I'm not judging anyone, I'm just stating my views.
It is true that marriage is a bigger and more formal commitment than being boyfriend/girlfriend.
It is true that you can get out of a marriage through divorce, but it is also true that it takes time and thought. It is simply much easier to break up with your girlfriend than it is to divorce your wife.
You are being mean, and that is a lot different that stating your views in a reasonable way.
#68 - On 09/14/2009 at 3:09pm by wearinsexypants
what they're saying is that a child born out of wedlock (which btw in mho is a boring painful expensive liefilled waste of a ceremony) and a child of a divorced couple is the same. wait, I lied they're not, there's less fighting, pain, suffering, and damage done to the child if there's no divorce and the parents can just agree to go their seperate ways without having to get the lawyers involved over every little detail. So it looks like getting married to have a child is the wrong choice for everyone involved. Interesting. score one against the good book of LIES
You know, I really believe this is a cultural/familial values issues. Some families value marriage very highly and others don't.
I'm in my twenties, and my parents are divorcing. Is it necessary? Yes. Do I wish they had never gotten married, and then "just agree to go their separate ways without having to get lawyers involved over every little detail"? Absolutely not. For one thing, as a young child having parents that were married was important to me. For another, if my mom hadn't gotten lawyers involved, my dad would be living alone in our family home, letting it all go to waste, and my mother and under-18 brother would be working their asses off to live in a tiny apartment somewhere. My mom had to fight to stay in the family home with her children, as well as to get her share of the retirement and other things. If my parents had never married, she would have no claim on these things, and therefore be much worse off.
Something else, I believe that a married couple is more likely to plan their children than an unmarried child. I'm not saying unplanned children are any less loved or valued, but they are more prepared for, financially and otherwise, and I believe that gives them a better chance at a life of higher quality. I'm not saying that unmairried couples can't plan and prepare to have a child, or that married couples never have children before they are really ready, but on the average I believe what i have said to be true.
I find it interesting that I'm just trying to state my views in a reasonable and logical way and keep getting attacked...
#212 - On 09/14/2009 at 9:00pm by wearinsexypants
#212: My parents were married (they are recently divorced) and they had four children.
Only one of us was planned.
Not attacking you, just showing you that married couples with unplanned children do occur.
I'm the result of it haha.
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
That sounds like an excuse to break it off cause he wants nothing to do with the kid. I voted you deserved it though, because this was a pregnancy that never should have been. Waiting until marriage will always be the most responsible choice and nobody can contest that, they can only insult the people who are mature enough to do so. Even if you don't do that though, if you are going to have sex before marriage: one, you have to be extra careful, and two, if you do get pregnant the right thing to do for the sake of the child is get married before the child is born. It's never better for the kid when the parents aren't together. If you didn't feel you could spend your life with the person you shouldn't have been sleeping with them, but if you did you have to face up to the responsibility. Having the parents separate is never better for the kids. I've known plenty of people who have divorced parents, including my fiancee, and I never heard one of them say they're happy their parents broke up and don't live together. The only people who say that are people who think they are so smart, but never actually experienced that scenario. Just because you screwed your life up doesn't mean you have to screw it up for your kid too. Take some responsibility for once.
#35 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:31pm by israelnotjacob
It's not safe to say kids from divorced parents are never happy. My parents got divorced and it was the best thing for us. Their relationship improved after divorce, friend-wise, and it made us all much happier. Marriage is, quite honestly, a bunch of legal shit. The OP should get child support, though. That would be granted.
#37 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:34pm by airbornerose
I'm far happier my parents' decided to divorce. I had a GREAT childhood, filled with love. I had two people who cared for me very much. If they had stayed together, it would have destroyed my childhood. They simply weren't happy together, and they fought constantly.
You really think it's better to put a child in the middle of two wildly unhappy parents and force them to stay together for the sake of the kid, rather than to part ways maturely and bring the child up as best as possible independently?
#47 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:44pm by rayrayy
I suppose my "bastard" child who was born out of wedlock will grow up horribly and unhappily, and my child born in wedlock to the same man will be well adjusted and well behaved. Our material status at time of conception makes all the difference in how we choose to rear our children, right?
#47, The point is that your mother took the time to find a guy that was likely to be committed to their kids, and demonstrated that willingness to sign a legal contract to that effect. Naturally, there are cases when a divorce will make people happier. But the OP obviously hung out with a guy that ran for the first exit. If the OP had popped the question first, she would not be in the circumstance she is in, or the rest of us as taxpayers are in now that statistically she is headed to poverty and the kid to a much greater than average likelihood for needing expensive social support.
#60 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:57pm by I_am_stupid_also
So you're saying that if they'd been married then the OP's husband would not have reacted the same way when the child grew blonde hair, simply because they were married.
I know what come's next - "he was looking for a way out blah blah blah" but 5 years down the line and happy to have a baby with her it was only when it grew blonde hair that he left. Honestly, if he simply didn't want the kid he'd have left as soon as she was pregnant.
#67 - On 09/14/2009 at 3:09pm by Paper_Tiger
#60- My parents' married AFTER I, and my three brothers, were born. My Mom didn't "take the time to find a guy that was likely to be committed to their kids". She had several children, was happy, and then and ONLY then did she decide to marry him. She married because she loved him, NOT because he was committed to the kids. And they also split, thinking of what's better for themselves AND the children. They didn't marry nor split due to their children. I think that's how it should be.
#69 - On 09/14/2009 at 3:10pm by rayrayy
#35 is a complete moron. Divorce is generally best for the kids if the parents don't get along. You say only people who have never been through their parents divorcing say that, but then you say you didn't go through it. So what makes you think you can say that it's "never better for the kid when the parents aren't together"? I don't give a fuck how many people you know who's parents divorced or what they say about it, my parents got divorced and it was one of the best things to happen to me.
Screw the "YDI you should have been married" assholes. That just leaves you stuck with a paranoid distrusting husband who's a lot more difficult to be rid of. I have a 7 year old son who was born out of wedlock and it's not a problem. In fact looking back I'm glad his mother and I never got married because we'd have stayed together unhappy and resenting each other rather than being the friends we are now. And BTW I've been the primary carer for my son since he was one 1 year old.
Also I have brown hair now but I was white white blonde when I was little. My son's gone the same way.
#36 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:34pm by Paper_Tiger
And my apologies, you may not want to be rid of him. I didn't mean to make an assumption. So FYL and whatever happens I hope it turns out well.
#52 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:50pm by Paper_Tiger
Okay, to the people saying you deserve it for not marrying the guy are assholes.
Honestly, A LOT of kids are conceived before a marriage and the people don't even know it.
And there are a lot of successful single moms and single dads.
And I know a ton of families who aren't married and have a few kids.
That's kinda saying to a mom, oh, you deserve getting divorce because the kid has blonde hair.
People have babies before marriage, after marriage, after divorces.
Get over it.
It's the 2009. Really?
#38 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:35pm by Steviexrex
Go on the Maury show and take the paternity test to show him he's the father and the lie detector test to show that you're not lying.
Oh get over yourself
It's a figure of speech meaning we don't live back when it was required to get a woman's fathers approval in hand of marriage just to kiss her or take her on a date.
#53 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:51pm by Steviexrex
F-FATHER?! *checks herself* Erm, nope, I'm still in one piece down there. I think you may have been referring to the delusional and moody teenage god up there, a.k.a Plexico. Whose name comes up far too often, incidentally >.>
Oh shit.... erm... oh fuck...
I don't suppose now's a good time to tell Toxi that I'm the last of the Nephilim...? FUCK!
I AM coming, as a matter of fact.
So, Kay, if I killed you (not that I would, love), would I be committing genocide? Sweet!
But I disown you. Read all my other comments to you on this page. Haha. :)
#119 - On 09/14/2009 at 4:17pm by Intoxicunt
Your boyfriend is an idiot. It's perfectly common what your son has. In fact, I was born with 5 eyes, a tentacle and a bear snout when my dad had 4 eyes and my mom had gills.
#46 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:44pm by Triumvirate
"Four years of pitching a shutout is pretty good, but put a fat one over the middle of the plate and any guy can go deep and score. Game over, man."
Translation please :P
#58 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:54pm by Paper_Tiger
YDI. Get a paternity test and take him for all he's worth.
#55 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:52pm by myhairynutsack
After 5 years? Is there such thing as a "1825 night stand" ?
#65 - On 09/14/2009 at 3:05pm by rukusrazor
you should explain to him that blonde hair is a recessive gene anyway. dumbass.
#57 - On 09/14/2009 at 2:54pm by ohmyginger
exactly it can be a recessive gene and also young babies are known to have blond hair when they are born or well not as soon as they are born....but yeah xD
My parents werent married before i was born...I dont see how being married would matter anyways. He could just divorce her if he wanted to. Or just leave and be on his own, either way he could walk out while married. After all, marriage is just a piece of paper you signed. And seriously...the marriage stuff, what is this, the 1950's? When mommy stayed home and took care of the kiddies and daddy went to work. I dont think so. There isnt anything wrong with having a child and not being married.
#61 - On 09/14/2009 at 3:00pm by thelovelykira
FYL. that really sucks. anyone who says you should have gotten married first is an idiot. I have tons of friends whose parents weren't married at the time, or just plain don't see the point of getting married. marriage does NOT legitimize pregnancy, a parent does.
you probably are better off, because that guy was an idiot. either that or he's been cheating on YOU (cheaters are always paranoid their partner will cheat, and look for signs).
but again, that really sucks. kind thoughts to you and your child.
#66 - On 09/14/2009 at 3:09pm by greenrapsody
Maybe you should have bothered to get to know the guy before spawning his crotch fruit for him.
#70 - On 09/14/2009 at 3:11pm by ozymandias
FYL. my hair was blonde until i was a teenager, and my parents AND brother all have really dark hair
#76 - On 09/14/2009 at 3:18pm by papertigers
Florida, land of the old?
I was under the impression you couldn't procreate post-menopause.
#87 - On 09/14/2009 at 3:37pm by Witchcraft
How would you like to be the one to explain to a redneck that one of his genes is recessive?
#90 - On 09/14/2009 at 3:39pm by I_am_stupid_also
plexico and Kay, I disown you both. I'll go have babies with Triumvirate, aback, and allmidnighteyes.
>:[
#117 - On 09/14/2009 at 4:15pm by Intoxicunt
Sorry! Let's make up. *Hugs* Mmm, you smell good.
I'm from Florida, and I must say, the part I'm from has a low ratio of old people and is generally the best place I've ever spent time in. So *sticks tongue out*.
#122 - On 09/14/2009 at 4:21pm by Intoxicunt
*sticks her tongue out too... all hell breaks loose*
[Two hours later...]
*puffs on a joint* Jesus, we have to make up more often :O
I hate it when you guys fight!! *runs to room (which incidentally happens to be the attic)* SOBS
*SCREAMS INTO PILLOW*
That is, incidentally, the same kind of screaming into the pillow that Toxi does when I'm "making up" with her ^_^
... ohSHIThereshecomes!
Don't bogart that joint, my friend.
Mercyyyy, come back. We made up. Now we have to make up with you!
We appear to all be in the business of a literary version of porn. The men reading this should have to pay us. *Cough*, plexi, *cough*.
edit: Lmfao. It is the same kind of screaming! The crying is identical too.
#131 - On 09/14/2009 at 4:29pm by Intoxicunt
I was WONDERING why there was no conservative "intervention" up to this point! Doubtless they're pirating all this and cracking one off before they get all enraged.
Edit: THEY'RE TEARS OF JOY! HONEST! PLEXI, DON'T SUE!
I agree. Soon, someone is going to comment saying, "You should never do that again, and we can't talk about it."
Tears of joy? If you say so. Just don't ruin me before I have a chance to have plexi's kids. Hey, that will make them Mercy's half-siblings.
#137 - On 09/14/2009 at 4:36pm by Intoxicunt
An entrepreneur, are you?
Let's sell plex's jokes for $5 each.
#149 - On 09/14/2009 at 4:49pm by Intoxicunt
I was thinking more along the lines of selling Plexi's testicles on eBay, actually... That way, you and I get more alone time :D
We can sell one of them, but the other is making babies for our master race. :)
Sorry I was gone for a while...I was, uh...watching "videos".
#168 - On 09/14/2009 at 5:19pm by Intoxicunt
Ah yes, the supreme KayCuntian race, I allllmmmooostttttttt forgot about that! May as well dispose of Plexi then, when we're done with his brood :D
P.S. do share said 'videos' *WINK* *WINK* *NUDGE* *NUDGE*
But plexi has to instill in the children his sense of humor! I know: We send them off to plexi-camp for the summer every year, leaving us lots of time alone. :)
www.youporn.com
Or were you wanting me to make my own and send them? Because I can do that too...
#176 - On 09/14/2009 at 5:37pm by Intoxicunt
How about we just shove his brain into a computer and he can teach the kiddies from there?
And ZOMFG, you can do that?! *picks her jaw up from the floor*
OK! Sorry, plex, you've been voted off our island. We are living on an island, right? I like water and coconuts, but I know not to park under them.
I can indeed! I just bought a videocam. :)
Not that I WILL, but I CAN...
#179 - On 09/14/2009 at 5:45pm by Intoxicunt
That's right, we just submit fake FML's saying we did and that said coconuts smashed our windscreens in! And that said coconuts were actually Plexi-balls! And that said Plexi-balls were actually THE DECREPIT SKULLS OF FUCKING TROLLS/NOOBS.
And awww, no fairrrrrr. Oh wells, maybe another time. When I have more blackmail material on you, perhaps :P
Who the FUCKING HELL said they were? :) As in... seriously? Without humour? Anyways, can I interest you in some Testicle of Plexico?
I have never laughed as hard as I just did while reading your comments, KaySL and Intoxicunt...
#205 - On 09/14/2009 at 7:48pm by RazorFox16
While you guys were busy making your baby making videos, i was left unattended in the backyard with lots of sharp, pointy objects and rakes. I dismantled the satellite dish before the Mrs Wilson from next door called the police. Now I am sitting in some smelly office and this bitch social worker is sending me to live with a man named Chester. My torn and bloody dress smells like dog leg and I'm sure if I ever get a new baby brother or sister I will smother it in the night and blame the cat. Unless I get a new bike. A REALLY GOOD bike. I has Schwinn?
Mercy: I'm gonna SPANK you. Now you'll think twice about playing with sharp things (excluding me). =]
You can still have the bike with the money from plexi's testicle.
Kay: Marry me.
plexi: ...The fuck? What happened? Hmm... Write me and tell (and you can't say no, because you brought it up already).
I'm glad I'm excluded from these generalizations. I'd like to think I wouldn't be average anywhere I go. You're hardly the typical Texan either.
I was gone for several hours as well, sewing. But I have returned to make sexy time with the people I was talking to, including you, Mercy. Yeah, I know you're my daughter but...you're irresistible!
#240 - On 09/15/2009 at 12:08am by Intoxicunt
My bottom is already raw from a game Chester called 'pin the tale'. I'm not sure what happened because he made me drink Firewater from a lava lamp but i know I didn't care for it. I ran out of the house when a goat got loose in the kitchen and so me and the goat hitchhiked here. He's outside eating your garden.
I'm sleepy and it's way past my bedtime but since the attic you guys store me in is so cold I'll take me spankings here. In the warm part of the house where music plays and it smells of saffron and brownies. *blink blink* Can redbluegreen be my sister? I promise i won't choke her and we can comfort each other with absurdist fairy tales about the monsters under the bed. Plus I need AME to help me build a cushion castle so we can watch LotR Marathons. Even if he is a RBGs Daddy.
AND A BIKE!!! GET THE GIN$U KNIVE$!! It has to be a red bike. And a Schwinn. Like PeeWee's bike!
Chester? That's your uncle. Pssh, him and the damn goats. It's a good thing you're home. That goat is out there eating my marijuana!??? This should be a spectacle when it hits him.
The attic is cold? Heat rises. Maybe it's the fact that we didn't invest in a roof.
Yeah, redbluegreen can be your sister. She has to go through the initiation process, though. And AME is welcome to be your..um..uncle I guess, since he's her dad. He can't be directly related to me, though, because I told him he's hot. =O
Your father is out carousing with other women and will be home later to beat us all.
*Hands you a cardboard cut out of a bike colored red with crapola, I mean, Crayola*...
#247 - On 09/15/2009 at 1:00am by Intoxicunt
BIKE! BIKE! BIKE! BIKE! BIKE! *holds breathe* [...] *sees manipulation not working" "attempts reason*
huhhuffpuff... ok, ok... fair and just and bestest mommie dearest. How about this:
1. shingle roof or truck bed tarp
2. let the goat peacefully amble away
3. warm gruel or uppers @ least QD
4. daddy uses open hand. no missing teeth.
5. redbluegreen is my sister and AME her Daddy
6. Wincest :]
ok -- I accept that i need punished. Just don't pin the tail =o
Toxi, we can make babies whenever you want. They'll be glorious. :D
Mercy and myself will already be doing um... stuff... in the fort.
#256 - On 09/15/2009 at 1:35am by allmidnighteyes
Hmm, your requests are reasonable.
1: Fine, tarp it is.
2: Oops. You know that steak I served you? He'll never bother my garden again.
3: I'm sorry, I'm out of goat. I'll feed you though. Damn humans having to eat.
4: I'll distract daddy with my videos. No worries there. :)
5: Ok, just don't choke her. Does she have to eat too?
6: OK! *humps*
I'll leave the punishing to Kay. She enjoys it so...
#257 - On 09/15/2009 at 1:39am by Intoxicunt
OK, allmidnighteyes. My baby-maker is ready! Kay is gone, probably in bed, as is plexico. So I'm all alone tonight... =/
#258 - On 09/15/2009 at 1:43am by Intoxicunt
The attic! So, basically our place. How convenient! You live here, so you can't bail when I pop out gorgeous, witty sextuplets.
Edit: We have spammed the FUCK out of this post.
#261 - On 09/15/2009 at 1:59am by Intoxicunt
THE GOAT is DEAD and was MAHS DINNERRRRRRRRRRRRRR! AAAUGHHHHHH!
*WAILS AND THRASHES INTO PILLOW WITH A LINDA BLAIR RICOCHET*
oh man. This is Soooo Wincest. lmfaooooo
(p.s. yes AME. still on the insomnia tip. Mebbe moar fort building with you would tire me out :D)
p.p.s. if youse guys gonna makes babies, makes films for later diddle action :]
p.p.p.s Kat id gonna WOMP!!!
Attic it is :]
-romp-
Oh Mercy, you voyeuristic slut. You can join if you want. I'm sure Toxi wouldn't mind. ;D
Orrrrrrrrr, we can move it to Mercy's super sexy blanket, pillow, and cushion fort.
#266 - On 09/15/2009 at 2:10am by allmidnighteyes
Have to be there. My doggie bed is in the corner :] need to fill a void... ireply abandoned us, so:
"Still night, nothing for miles,
White curtain come down,
Kill the lights in the middle of the road
And take a look around.....
It don't help to be one of the chosen
One of the few, to be sure
When the wheels are spinning around
And the ground is frozen through, and you're
Driven, like the snow
Pure in heart
Driven together
And given
Away to the west
A white dress
'Til the river don't run
A black dress
Looking like mine
'Til the sun don't shine no more
Where the sky meet the ground
Where the street fold round
Where the voice you hold don't
make no sound, look
Snow on the river and two by two
Took a lot to live a lot like you, I don't
Go there now, but I hear they sung
Their "Fuck Me And Marry Me Young"
Some wild and some big white bed, now
You know better than that, I said,
Like a voice in the wind blow little crystals down
Like brittle things will break before they turn
Like lipstick on my sigarette
And the ice get harder overhead
Like think it twice but never never learn...
And the mist will wrap around us
And the crystal, if you touch it...
And the cars
Lost in the drift
Are there
And the people that drive
Lost in the drift
Are there
And the cares I've
Lost in the drift
Are there
Theirs, ours,
Lost in the drift
Are..
Driven
Driven together
And driven
Apart"
The Sisters Of Mercy - Driven Like The Snow
I love you for the SOM lyrics. One of my favorites of the 80's post-punk/gothic rock scene.
=]
#274 - On 09/15/2009 at 2:32am by allmidnighteyes
Andrew is a hero of mine, among others. I copied and pasted this and disagree with the accurateness of a line or two but yeah. This is the Bliss. AME. My O my. My heartland =D
Whoa. What did I miss? I thought I was going to bed, but failed.
Yeah, Mercy, you can join in, if you like Wincest.
*romps with AME*
Was the goat tasty? I saved his head. *holds it up*
Who is this band you guys speak of? They sound good...but I've never heard of them...
#283 - On 09/15/2009 at 5:08am by Intoxicunt
HOW DID I MISS ALL OF THIS?! D:
I feel loved that I was included in spirit. ♥
P.S. Alan and I are twins?
#290 - On 09/15/2009 at 8:55am by redbluegreen
all the religious nutjobs that are saying "you should have been married" please do the world a favor and die without reproducing.
#81 - On 09/14/2009 at 3:26pm by legendofdon
Believe me, the people who are trying to raise kids without a spouse do not have time to post on fmylife to tell you how hard it is.
#85 - On 09/14/2009 at 3:33pm by I_am_stupid_also
#85 Seriously? Damn I must have imagined posting all this time.
#97 - On 09/14/2009 at 3:48pm by Paper_Tiger
Beat him over the head with a biology textbook. Hasn't he ever heard of something called "recessive genes"?
Recessive genes. Do a DNA test and either get him back or get child support.
#84 - On 09/14/2009 at 3:32pm by Dragonmouth
FYL because your boyfriend doesn't understand genetics. See, it works like this: Brown hair is dominant, blonde is recessive. Both of you must have a parent or grandparent with blonde hair, and you must both carriers for blonde hair. There's a 25% chance that each of your kids would be blonde. Tell him to Google a Punnett square. If he's so damn paranoid you're probably better off without the ignorant asshole though. If he always accuses you of cheating, it's easier to him to "prove" that you are than it is to prove that you're not. Talk about the easy way out.
Too bad you had a kid out of wedlock that you have to take care of alone now. If you'd been married, this wouldn't have happened. Not saying YDI by any means, just saying that divorcing you would be a lot harder than dumping you, and you could have had more time to explain or get a paternity test.
#91 - On 09/14/2009 at 3:40pm by themixedt4pe
Why would you have a kid with someone who could walk out of the relationship at any second? You need to lock em in so they're trapped forever. Now your kid has no dad. FYL but YDI.
bring on the negative comments
#102 - On 09/14/2009 at 3:56pm by weasleyismyking
Well, anyone can walk out of any relationship at any second. >.>
By your logic, no one should ever be with anyone. Man, that sucks.
Now if you were both lefties and the baby turned out to be a righty, then he'd have reason to worry. I plan on using this if me and my current gf have kids.
Get a paternity test and make him eat his words. And all you self-righteous "YDI" people -shut your mouth. Your kids will probably end up knocked up at 15.
#105 - On 09/14/2009 at 4:00pm by unhappyperson
What kids? I am smart enough to work a condom and make enough money that I can pay for an abortion.
#115 - On 09/14/2009 at 4:11pm by ozymandias
Not really; you still reek of sanctimony and arrogance. And that's about as close as you're likely to ever get to changing or rethinking your beliefs critically with that attitude, my friend.
He obviously doesn't know that blond is the weakest gene and would unlikely be passed on from you cheating, AND the fact that a lot of babies have blond hair and blue eyes
#109 - On 09/14/2009 at 4:05pm by HoShiz
People, stop saying "biology fail", this guy probably knows and understands the implications of genetics, but he is a cowardly asshole that was looking for a trapdoor out of this relationship. OP, sue the guys ass off for child support and move on.
This is not biology fail! I also had blond hair until I was four, now i have red hair. I'm aryan (scandinavian) and it's common to have blond hair. It's also common to have blond hair as a baby, but not when you grown up. Maybe this woman has aryan genes, or it just lies in her family.
#132 - On 09/14/2009 at 4:31pm by klesskapet
I am hoping you're talking to pimpin88, and not the father of my little Mercy.
#135 - On 09/14/2009 at 4:33pm by Intoxicunt
Get him for child support and get a paternity test done. When its ruled in court you had his child, he'll wish he never left you.
I must have missed that day in health class. How can you abort a ONE MONTH OLD CHILD!? Please enlighten the rest of us.
#148 - On 09/14/2009 at 4:48pm by akvandervort
I think most people drive their car with the kid in it into a lake, or bury them alive. =/
#160 - On 09/14/2009 at 5:04pm by Intoxicunt
That is messed up.. I was a blond child with blue eyes, parents are both brunette and brown eyed.. has he ever heard of recessive genes? What a freak. And all your fucks who think this has to do with not being married, you are ignorant!
#150 - On 09/14/2009 at 4:50pm by brigleo
FYL totally... But still YDI. It's better he has no father at all than having a psycho for a dad.
#152 - On 09/14/2009 at 4:53pm by fawfulster
Everyone knows happily unwed parents and unhappy married parents, or they know unhappy unwed parents and happily married parents. Does anyone know all 4 kinds of parents? They exist, in the same social set even!
I hate all of you.
#158 - On 09/14/2009 at 5:00pm by tinyrainclouds
Your boyfriend is an idiot for not having basic knowledge of genetics. If that kid's hair stays blonde the rest of its life, it could still be his child. Recessive genes explain this. Or his dumb ass could get a paternity test.
#159 - On 09/14/2009 at 5:01pm by therearesecrets
u know people who are paronoid about there chicks cheating have cheated. god listen to Dane cook every once in a while
#163 - On 09/14/2009 at 5:09pm by omgyoukilledkeny
...
...
...
Not necessarily; some people are just extremely insecure in their masculinity. Take most of the people who said YDI for having babies out of wedlock. And erm... Dane Cook can be amusing, but he's hardly someone I'd look to for life advice...
YDI for dating somebody stupid enough to not ask for a parental test rather than judging it purely on hair colour. Pity you didn't cheat, allowing his gene pool to continue is stupid.
You have more power now. Be glad you didn't marry him. Make certain he stays out of your life and your quality of life will be better. Get help from the state and you might even qualify for a Pell grant. Just focus on a pattern for a while. Mommy&baby time, work, school. Rinse and repeat. Better that than to depend on him.
You probably won't listen anyway and will end up (like tons of other women I've known and met) dealing with that ass while you are completely dependent on him. If you're smart, you won't let him ever have all the power.
Your boyfriend is stupid, all of my sisters and I were like that. We have dark hair now but we were all little blond kids.
You honestly should've gotten married first, but since that isn't the case here, I'm going to tell you about this little thing called technology. It's this hot new thing that can do anything, including prove who the biological parents of your child are.
#189 - On 09/14/2009 at 6:25pm by triplethreat13
Well, I'm atheist honestly. I agree with #86.
I highly disagree with #189
Getting married before no condom sex isn't really important.
Please try not to bring religion into judgement :c.
Other people believe in OTHER things.
FYL
you know what it doesn't really even matter or not whether or not you can prove it, now. he's not even worth keeping a relationship with for being so stupid.
#192 - On 09/14/2009 at 6:29pm by the_stereotype
Totally agree with the (original) post!!
Marriage is not for everyone, and definitely not a requirement for having children!
On a side note:
Your (ex?)boyfriend will never be happy if he's so paranoid.
~______~
#195 - On 09/14/2009 at 6:45pm by andrea_beretta
I am so sorry this happened to you. Hopefully you are able to work this out with him. Don't listen to the people that are telling you that you should have been married first. It doesn't matter. Why would that change anything? Idk. I'm very sorry though. He should come around.
Your BF is a jerk and you're better off without him, but it sure does sucks. :-/
Overly paranoid people suck when they can't even trust their loved ones.
I also had blonde hair up until about 5 or so, when it turned increasingly dark. Just like my dad and everybody in his family.
Get a paternity test done and then milk that douchebag for child support if he can't suck it up and apologize for acting like an idiot.
#199 - On 09/14/2009 at 7:06pm by startafire
I'll be seeing you on the Maury show while he does a parurnity test
#202 - On 09/14/2009 at 7:22pm by christinnaaa
YDI for having a child out of wedlock and not making a commitment to the (I want to say child) that impregnated you. You aught to give your child up for adoption so at least it has a chance at a decent life instead of a repeat of yours.
#206 - On 09/14/2009 at 7:54pm by TheKitsune
For fucks sake, having sex before marriage does NOT make you a slut.... try before you buy...... lol. Oh, and your boyfriend is a fuckwit. Break up with him, get a paternity test, then sue him for child support payments :-)
#207 - On 09/14/2009 at 7:55pm by MissKittie
I think YDI for not using some form of contraceptive if you was planning to have sex before marraige. Therefore the blonde hair would not be an issue, as this kid would not exist.
#208 - On 09/14/2009 at 8:04pm by cheetahboo2010
who cares.. he's obviously an DUMB and jealous. you're better off. isnt high school biology required for GEDs?
wow he's a douche. plus it wouldn't have mattered if you did or didn't have blond hair because it may have been a recessive gene in both of you so it's not really unusual if your baby doesn't have the same color hair as either of you.
#211 - On 09/14/2009 at 8:52pm by metalmusic99
So did your dumbass bf know it's possible for 2 ppl with brown hair to have a blonde kid or does he not understand genetics?
#213 - On 09/14/2009 at 9:07pm by Brando7992
wow hes stupid my moms white with blonde hair (born with blonde grew up to be browndied blonde) my dads black i came out white with didrty blonde hair now im 16 tan with light brown hair
GO GET THE BLOOD TESTS DUN AHH MUARY LOL he cant deny a dna test
#216 - On 09/14/2009 at 9:21pm by twitterwhore66
What difference would it have made if they WERE married? If her boyfriend is a paranoid asshole, how does it help if he's a paranoid asshole husband instead? People are such fucking idiots sometimes.
@OP My family's hair is the same way. My brother, sister and I all had white blonde hair as children that darkened to almost black (my brother), light brown (my sister) and medium brown (me). It's not uncommon. Something tells me that there is a deeper reason for this, and that your boyfriend is using this as an excuse.
Wow... I am simply amazed...
... by the fact that you used "you're" correctly! It's about time someone smart used this website (kidding).
But seriously, that sucks. You should travel back in time and make it physically impossible for your boyfriend to hit puberty. That will fix both of your problems!
it could be an excuse for him just leaving after being terrified of having responsibilities with a child. some guys do that. besides, it's not like 2 people with dark hair can ONLY have dark haired children.
#226 - On 09/14/2009 at 10:01pm by DynamiteDice
Mail him the genetics chapter from a biology textbook and some baby pictures. Include a note implying he's a dumb shit too. He fails at life. FYL because he's an asshole, and FHL because he's a dumbass.
#233 - On 09/14/2009 at 10:44pm by tehredbaran
You do know they now sell paternity states at the pharmacy, right?
#236 - On 09/14/2009 at 11:18pm by avalonbluemoon
blonde is a recessive gene, and black hair is dominant. I learned that in 7th grade either he's a child or an idiot.
so are you
#237 - On 09/14/2009 at 11:45pm by PenNameHere
show him pics from when you were a baby. problem solved. now quit whining
#239 - On 09/15/2009 at 12:04am by maipinkbear
Lets face it, the dude probably just wanted any excuse the dump the OP because he realised life with a crotch nugget wasn't all its cracked up to be. She probably oopsed him like most women do. I feel sorry for guys, it would be like playing russian roulette every time you stuck your dick in someone.
#241 - On 09/15/2009 at 12:12am by modifiedchick
not nearly as much of a russian roulette if they slap a fucking condom on. that one is definitely the dudes fault.
Last time I checked condoms weren't 100% effective. Not to mention girls can poke holes in them, or lie and say they're on the pill when they're not. Russian roulette baby! So glad I'm not a guy, I'd probably have a nervous breakdown every time I fucked a chick if I was
#310 - On 09/16/2009 at 12:18am by modifiedchick
and as people are finally seeming to point out... a paternity test would have shut him up and solved things. however, your man sounds like a world class douche, so maybe you're better off without him.
I hate to say it, but are you sure he didn't fake this whole "paternity freak-out" as a way to get out of taking care of you and your child? Just gonna throw that out there...
#252 - On 09/15/2009 at 1:18am by CinnamonGrl
Sad, because if you're white, and he is white, and neither of you are Italian, chances are the kids hair will show up blond, then go darker as the child gets older.
That sucks. But I've been thinking...I wonder why guys will date women for a loooong time but not marry them. What's the difference? Is it simply easier to bail when there is no wedding ring and marriage? Is it a fear of that kind of commitment? Is it fear of losing half their stuff in the event of a divorce. You've been dating this guy 5 years. I know someone who dated her boyfriend for 10 years. Dating! That's ridiculous. Maybe you ARE better off without him as some other commentors are saying...
#254 - On 09/15/2009 at 1:24am by Yip_YIP_YIPPEE
Oh and you might wanna try going on Maury. That way the paternity test is free and you can embarrass him at the same time...Unless you're one of those women who has to test like 8 men. Then you're just embarassing yourself.
#255 - On 09/15/2009 at 1:26am by Yip_YIP_YIPPEE
I'm guessing your boyfriend did not do well in school? Otherwise he'd know about these things called recessive genes whereby two dark haired parents can still have a light haired child. Now, if you two both had light hair and the child had dark hair, THEN he would have reason for concern.
alright guys,
it sounds like the OP has quite enough on her plate with a one month old baby AND a dumbass ex-boyfriend. harrassing her about not being married and getting pregnant is not going to solve things. it happens, people.
anyway, i'm sorry about your situation. i also have dark hair, and had blonde hair when i was little.
#264 - On 09/15/2009 at 2:06am by theblueone4
2 dark haired ppl have a 25% chance of having a blonde child if they both are carriers for the blonde-haired gene. basic mendelian genetics. tell him to look it up.
#270 - On 09/15/2009 at 2:27am by underweightfatty
good riddance cause clearly your boyfriend is dumb as rocks if he thinks you can't have blonde haired kids when you both have dark hair, fucking idiot needs to go back to school
He doesn't sound too bring. He obviously knows nothing about dominant and recessive genes.
What a moron.
#279 - On 09/15/2009 at 3:39am by NuclearWinter
i have red hair and green eyes. i had blonde hair and blue eyes for the first year i was alive. its actually not that rare. and fuck everyone else saying you should be married. i had my son out of wedlock and his mom fucked off and left, hes still the best thing thats ever happened to me. being married doesnt mean someone wont leave you. he probably just wanted the excuse to leave you. and you dont deserve this at all.
Father of your child is an unspeakable idiot. Don't try to convince him, don't try to show him any proof. Just dump him! He is retarded.
Even if it wasn't for the complete unpredictability of genetics, it's totally not rare that the hair changes with growing up.
But as someone said, maybe he isn't a retard and he just needed an excuse to dump you because he realised he doesn't want any child yet. In this case he's a bastard and you still don't try to convince him and just dump him.
And all the people that say that you should have get married first are retards. It would only make things worse with divorce and property composition and such. Consider yourself lucky that you weren't married.
The point is not to be married to that idiot, the point is to not try to raise a child with an irresponsible father and instead find someone willing to make a commitment.
#296 - On 09/15/2009 at 12:12pm by I_am_stupid_also
Actually many babies are born with different colour hair and eyes and gradually change to look like their parents. I know some white babies born with blue eyes and blond hair even though their parents did not look like that. Some asians are born with brown hair too, then gradually changes to black. You guys shouldn't really get mad at normal things like these.
#292 - On 09/15/2009 at 10:29am by clouds_are_nice
I have to agree with some of the comments about kids out of wedlock, and it's not a religious thing. I don't care if it's a gay marriage, it still makes a difference to the kids.
BUT- that has nothing to do with this. Whatsoever.
AND- It's not about genetics.
The problem is that the guy thinks she is cheating on him because of hair color... Which is either stupid or ignorant. Something alot of non-Caucasians are not aware of is that caucasian hair color changes in the early years. That is something they taught in beauty school, whether it's blonde turning to black, black to blond, or red turning darker (it's also the only hair that changes color when it gets wet). It's not an absolute, but it's very common. Perhaps the father is a different race and was simply unaware?
Or he's just a paranoid mofo who should have his nads kicked so hard he can't reproduce again.
#293 - On 09/15/2009 at 10:38am by benjammin35
That sucks. I was blond for about six or seven years before turning dark-headed. Your boyfriend doesn't know shit about genetics or how alleles work....
....And, you know, it really wouldn't have taken too much research for him to find out....Just type it into Google, really.
I hate to say it, but it seems like your boyfriend was just looking for any excuse to get out of the relationship and fatherhood. Good riddance to him, then. Someone that desperate for such a lame excuse wouldn't have been a good father anyway.
You deserved it.
Your child is a bastard and now always will be.
#295 - On 09/15/2009 at 12:03pm by harveywallbanger
YDI for having the kid out of wedlock. You've just shown why. Boyfriends have no real reason to stay around. There is no commitment.
Also you both are morons for not knowing how genetics work. I have red hair, yet nobody on my father's side has red hair. Does that mean my mom cheated? No. It is a recessive trait and could have gone for generations without popping up. Plus i have quite a few other genetic traits that are in common with my dad. (also having a twin sister who takes after my dad's family helps).
#297 - On 09/15/2009 at 12:23pm by ObadiahtheSlim
Good riddance to your idiot boyfriend. It is a good thing you aren't married to him. It would be that much harder to sever things with the paranoid loser.
#299 - On 09/15/2009 at 2:00pm by the_lissa
I was nice and put FYL, but for future reference, it's a lot easier for the father to just up and leave you if you're not married to him. Think about that next time.
And apparently you ex doesn't know jack about genetics. It's possible for two dark haired parents to have a blonde baby.
wow... yeah thats horrible I'm the same... I had blonde hair as A child but now have brown hair...
#305 - On 09/15/2009 at 7:13pm by live_laugh_learn
I'm a caucasian with brunette hair, my husband is black, and our baby had blonde hair. It can happen to anyone! I was also a blondie when I was born. You will get through this, get testing to prove he's the father if there's any doubt with child support. Don't let the idiot get away with this!
#306 - On 09/15/2009 at 7:41pm by amethyst42
A simple blood test could fix this problem. I don't see why he wouldn't just ask for that, unless he simply looking for a way out of the relationship...
I think your BF needs a lesson in highschool Biology. Blond is the recessive gene, so a brown haired person could be carrying one brown hair gene and one blond hair gene. If both you and your BF have a blond gene and a brown gene, and your daughter got a blond gene off each of you, she'll have two blond genes and that'll make her blond.
It's more sus when you have two blond parents and a brown-haired baby... (although that is actually possible, just very rare.)
Both my parents have brown hair (my dad's is so dark it's almost black) and me and one of my sisters both had very blond hair when we were little.
Come on, how can we actually be expected to believe a guy would break up with a woman over this? I could understand maybe if the child say, came out looking of Asian descent and both partners were black, but this is silly. He probably just wanted out of the relationship and lied about the hair thing. Sorry, OP.
In response to the whole "You should have been married" team - I neither agree nor disagree. All I can say is from personal experience, being married doesn't stop a man from walking out the door. My mother and father were married years before I was born, and he still left when I was small. My aunt was married when she had my cousin - my uncle left her, we have a friend of the family who was married, and the wife decided she didn't want to be. She left. They had a two year old, born after marriage. Being married just makes it that much harder; child custody, and divorce hearings etc. . . If a guy is going to leave, a wedding ring on his finger isn't going to change his mind. So in all honesty, her being married has nothing to do with what her boyfriend did.
I do, however, agree on the paternity test. If he's that insecure, I would get one. No simply to get him back - if he's going to dump you for that, he doesn't deserve you - but as proof that he IS the father, and he IS responsible for child support.
#312 - On 09/16/2009 at 4:02am by websterwer
Another thing I want to point out is that a lot of the people against marriage are saying that not being married eliminates things like lawyers and custody battles, and I really can't believe that. When people who have kids split up, there is gonna be issues, whether they are married or not. Maybe they both want the kids, maybe neither of them do, maybe the one who wants the kids isn't the one who's best to raise them or whatever. A lot of the time people aren't able to figure these things out civilly on their own because they are selfish or upset or whatever, and that's where family law and custody cases come in, to help with those decisions. When married people divorce, there aren't always big fights and complicated court cases, but when unmarried people split, they don't always get to "simply go their own way" with no hassle all the time either.
#313 - On 09/16/2009 at 4:26am by wearinsexypants
That sucks. I might suggest you to suggest a paternity test, but if he doesn't trust you, maybe it's time to move on, anyway.
Seriusly... your both damn ignorent... seriusly even though you have both black hair your baby could still end up with another hair color!... It's all about genes. You have atleast two genes which codes for two diffrend hair colors. you give one gene away to your baby, this means if you both have a gene that codes for blond hair she have a 1/4 chance of getting blonde. The reason why you aren't blonde is that the gene that codes for black hair is dominating.
Here in Europe, after a couple of years, cohabitation is equal to marriage in the eyes of the law. So there is an alimony. I don't really know the US laws but there should be something similar. Unless the owerwhelming amount of bigotry let these matters stay unnoticed. Please, correct me if I'm wrong. And I better be.
Welp...looks like its gonna be about *cough* 4 years til you two get back together...
"What's this...? Why does he have black hair?"
All while your in Bali chillin'...
#318 - On 09/16/2009 at 5:16pm by keberTxelA11
what a douche - he's just using any excuse he can to get out of the relationship - he's truly a loser! u r better without him.
All of you who claim babymomma deserves a YDI because she's a "slut" make my head hurt...
Marriage wouldn't have done anything to prevent this situation. Either way, the guy is still an untrusting dumbass. No piece of legal document would have changed that. If anything, the situation would have been MUCH worse with all the stress and all the money it would have cost to UNdo that legal document.
If they were together for 5 years, they were both consenting parties in having a sexual relationship. Therefore, they had to both accept responsibility that pregnancy was a possibility. I do feel bad because it is an unfortunate situation. But how much worse would it be to stay with an idiot simply because he is your child's father?
babymomma, you will find someone much more deserving of your loyalty who will love both you and your child.
#323 - On 09/17/2009 at 12:07am by Rogue_wave
That really, really sucks. ):
Also, I've been reading some of these comments, and I have to say that people are really dumb. For example, calling you (or anyone, just because they have a baby and are not married) a slut is ridiculous, since you may have very well been planning on a child, whether or not you're married! And heck, you could be 35 for all I (or anyone else) knows. Anyway, I'm sure you're old enough to make your own decisions, and I really hope everything works out for you. (:
#326 - On 09/17/2009 at 5:52pm by theSarahnator
Paternity test? Your old baby pictures?
and to the "get married first comments" guess what, there is such thing called divorce. *eye roll* it doesn't mean anything anymore.
hope things work out for you hun
Well, at least you didn't commit yourself for the rest of your life to an idiot.
Seriously.
#330 - On 09/19/2009 at 10:00pm by rachellovesfish
YLIF
i mean is he seriously that dumb to not look at like test and all that crap?
n ppl saying YDI
ur saying she deserves it becuz her boyfriend is a paranoid freak that hides it from ppl?
anyways OP
Ur better off without him
I hope u and ur child have a good, long, wonderful life :)
#331 - On 09/21/2009 at 10:31pm by epicphaill
Alot of comments! Wow! Still....
If he liked it, he would have put a ring on it.
#333 - On 09/23/2009 at 3:50am by killyourscene
That sounds like my life. I had blonde hair when i was little and not its dark, so now the dad says that he's not his. Funny part my son has his dads nose. But i feel for you girl.
#334 - On 09/25/2009 at 3:01pm by keelynsmom
Give him a book on genes - even if you hadn't had blond hair at any point in your life, you could still have a blond child.
That's so retarded! Both my parents have dark hair and my hair's golden blonde. I'm seventeen.
I can't believe your boyfriend left you because your ONE-MONTH-OLD baby's hair is blonde.
It's so common for babies to have blonde hair! Even if it darkens when they're older, so many
babies start out with blonde hair. I had jet black hair at birth, then strawberry blonde until I was
four, now it's just regular blonde. So ridiculous that he's leaving you because of your baby's
hair colour. That literally is the most ignorant think I've ever heard.
And to everyone who's YDI-ing her because she's unmarried-- WTF? Honestly, you've never heard
of an unmarried couple having a child? Besides, pretty sure the guy's ignorance wouldn't have
been magically eliminated the moment he said "I do."...
number 1 (the obvious) don't have kids out of wedlock- if not for religous reasons, because it is just asking for trouble (hence, this fml)
number 2- F your boyfriend for RUINING your kid's life. Wow. He is never going to know what its like to have a father and that is not a good thing.
Here's your kids fml
"Today, my dad left my mom because he thought she was cheating on him. I heard him say something about my hair color. Its probably my fault. FML"
why doesn't he go ask for a DNA test between the three of you
#340 - On 01/28/2010 at 2:46am by maryjeaninex3
get married and this wouldn't happen..all goes to show if your a lustful pig and can't wait to get married..you'll always pay..
