Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and refused to give me back the condoms I'd just bought. Why? Because she wants to use them with the guys she's been cheating on me with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36054) - you totally deserved it (2190)
On 07/07/2009 at 9:12pm - love - by hopeless (man) - United States
what you should have said is:
"Keep the condoms bitch, I hope they would all be reaped and ull get 8 babies pregnant from the asshole u cheated me with".
anyone else notice that the FML says "guyS"?
be glad you are rid of that whore.
Also, get tested. Like, yesterday.
#92 - On 07/09/2009 at 12:26pm by genius_man16
No, the best revenge would be to bust a nut right in her eye! But it doesn't sound like he is going to be tapping that again any time soon!
#71 - On 07/08/2009 at 1:50pm by skullbuster
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
YDI for being a guy
#3 - On 07/08/2009 at 3:04am by mexiwrestler93
lol i agree,i mean its not like they cost much. So who cares, and she probably just said that to you so you would feel even worse. Looks like it worked.
Steal them and poke holes in all of them, then give them back! That will show the cheating bitch
#5 - On 07/08/2009 at 3:05am by sam_stalker
or children. Did you notice the S on guys? Holy shit....
#65 - On 07/08/2009 at 12:02pm by girandwogpig
Well u werent goin to need them for a while until u got another girlfriend anyways. hahaha JK .... just buy some more and forget about it...
They are everywhere. You just need to stick a pin through the center of the pack...
#39 - On 07/08/2009 at 4:59am by smiller0789
Depends on what kind and how much you buy. I don't really blame the OP for asking for something he paid for that wasn't a gift back. They are his even if they're used for both of their sakes. It was pretty cheap to ask for them, but I think it was even cheaper for her to take them and use them with the person she was cheating with. Considering he just bought them, I bet she planned to break up with him when he replenished the supply so she wouldn't buy her own.
#31 - On 07/08/2009 at 4:15am by SomeonePosting
Sometimes people like playing world destroyer while they're bored in Wal-Mart.
#24 - On 07/08/2009 at 3:37am by redbluegreen
It's pretty lame that you asked for them. If I were your ex-girlfriend I wouldn't give them back either.
Stupid idea to ask for them back, so you're definitely just whining. She's definitely a cheap bitch for keeping them to bang the other dude she cheated on you with though.
Look in the bright side - at least you were using condoms. (I'm sure if this cockdepository hasn't caught something yet, she will.)
#21 - On 07/08/2009 at 3:31am by YouSoDeservedIt
eee... you really asked her to give them back to you... HAHA no wonder your life sucks.. you're probably the reason it sucks..." can i have the condoms back? " lol? l.a.m.e
woww fakee muchh, this is a repeatt exactlyyy on the last page seriously how lame can you actually be you have to make up a fml to get one the site gett a lifeee buddyy.
be thankful she's using condoms so you won't catch some shit from her!!!
you deserve better!! no one deserves to be cheated on!!!
you'll find someone better
who asks for a pack of condoms back? sorry though, sounds like it's a good thing to move on from... get a new pack ;)
honestly there's a bright side to this..at least she's not cheating for a bigger dick, otherwise she'd need to buy new magnums or XLs...
#35 - On 07/08/2009 at 4:33am by FlaminYawn
what a bitch! (and a poor one cuz she cnt affort a pack of condoms)
#37 - On 07/08/2009 at 4:40am by sarcasticbitch
Awe I'm sorry. Bout ur gf cheating on u.... Don't stress bout the damn condoms
#38 - On 07/08/2009 at 4:54am by cheerchick4life
YDI for letting her keep the condoms. that's like letting your gf out of the kitchen you just don't do it
#40 - On 07/08/2009 at 5:14am by Nightfallz
Why does she have them in the first place?
Always guard YOUR condoms with YOUR life.
So yes, FYL.
#42 - On 07/08/2009 at 5:27am by HockeyFanNick
Lol I always ask for my condoms back, there's no way in hell that I'm financing the sex life of a stupid ex.
#45 - On 07/08/2009 at 5:56am by ElMundio87
Exactly. It's not the fact that he's upset about missing a few dollars, he's upset that he's basically paying for his ex-girlfriend to have sex with other men.
#64 - On 07/08/2009 at 11:56am by wienerwagon
I would have just taken them back, and made sure to trash her room "searching" for them. BTW, if you have an nude pix of her send them to her parents, post them online for sale, and send them to everyone you know. Or if you know anything about her that she wouldn't want getting out, post it on your Facebook page if you have one or tell lies about her to her employer to get her fired.
BTW, I don't make these suggestions because I'm hateful. I just like thinking up ways to get revenge.
#85 - On 07/08/2009 at 10:32pm by qwerty123456789
You might want to make sure your "brilliand ideas" are legal first.
I can imagine at least 5 laws OP's girlfriend could use to sue you for making such suggestions! Actually 2 of them are Federal crimes and the State could sue you for them (girlfriend does not need to do it). I doubt it's worth the effort and resources though, but just to show you how stupid your ideas are.
The website could probably also be sued for leaving your comment here by the way (not likely to happen, but could happen).
You will get OP in more trouble if he listens to you, and just so you know: there is no need for a lot imagination to break the law. Try coming up with hurtful but legal revenge, that would be much more interesting to hear about.
How about covering her car with seeds and let the pigeons have an orgy on it? Or get a restraining order against her for any reason (easy to do), just to humiliate her.
OP could probably even sue her for cheating on him, claiming she put him in danger of giving him an STD against his consent (condoms are not 100% reliable!). He could even push further with the cheating lawsuit and claim he would not had wasted his time in their relationship had he known the truth, therefore she stole 1 year of his life during which he could had looked for a potential wife.
He can also mention the fact that he would not had bought her gifts and paid for movies and restaurants had he known she was cheating.
You can't sue for breaking up, but cheating is another story since it is obvious cheating involves breaking an (oral) agreement.
There are a lot of creative (and legal) ways to get revenge if that is what OP wants.
#88 - On 07/09/2009 at 2:39am by UsingLogic
UsingLogic - your "creative and legal" method of suing her is flat out a waste of time and lawyer fees. And putting birdfeed on the car is still vandalism - and if your going to do that just put pieces of bologna on it so that it strips the paint. That's definitely a more effective, and inexpensive!, approach.
Of course, if you are so concerned with revenge, and damn the consequences, you can always just up the ante - kill her, chop her body up and dispose of the pieces offshore or out-of-state. No body makes a much harder conviction. Spend a few months or years in prison on an easy to convict vandalism or assault charge, or chance a much longer, but significantly less likely, murder charge.
But seriously, OP, forget that stupid tramp. Even though its an attack on your principals that shes getting away with taking the condoms. Just tarnish her reputation (like it hasn't been already).
Sluts and skanks always get upset when everyone knows exactly what they are.
Ah dude that sucks. FYL indeed. I'm sure you can do better than her though, she sounds like a bloody skank.
whaaat,!
guySSS that she was cheating on you with??!
slut? :S
#52 - On 07/08/2009 at 8:06am by melissasmile21
You tried to get a box of rubbers back after your girlfriend admits to cheating on you and breaks up with you?? This happened to you, and you readily admit to it? What is wrong with the world today..doesn't anyone have any self-respect left? These "relationships" (or should we just call 'em hook-ups) obviously meant a lot to you guys if your post-breakup thought is "Can I get those leftover Trojans back?"
#70 - On 07/08/2009 at 1:48pm by skullbuster
Ain't no skanky bitch gf of mine breaking up w/ me and taking my shit!!
#61 - On 07/08/2009 at 10:53am by eli_guerra
Take some of her socks and tell her you need them for all the extra spooging you'll be doing without her.
Return them, unwashed and infected with hepatitis, SARS and conficker.
#62 - On 07/08/2009 at 11:12am by cheesefest
Sue for what, the $5.99-10.99 to cover the lost rubbers. The ex-girlfriend sounds like a real cunt, but really, can you imagine this breakup scene:
Girlfriend: I'm breaking up with you. I've been sucking and fucking this other guy for weeks.
OP: Alright, bitch, just give me my box of leftover condoms and we're done.
Girlfriend: No, and what do you need them for anyway, you aren't getting any. Me, I've got the guy I've been seeing behind your back coming over later and we're gonna use the whole fucking box!
OP: But I had to save up a week for those.
Girlfriend: Thanks you big pussy!
Sounds kind of "teen scene" to me. Who asks for their condoms back?? Isn't the breakup and the fact that she was cheating humiliating enough - and then you post your tragic story here after trying to recover the left over condoms...FYL indeed! Have some DIGNITY man.
#69 - On 07/08/2009 at 1:28pm by skullbuster
wow dude wow man im soo against this dude but man if you could i would tell you to CHRIS BROWN THAT BITCH! what a omg man idk what i would do if a girl had the nerve to do that to me cheat on me and when i ask for my condoms she says no im using them for my next guy i cheated on you with... let me think.... dude grab a pillow to her face and punch that shit ass hard as you can therefore she would feel it but there wont be any bruises!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then call the cops and said she verbally abused you and you want a restraining order
#67 - On 07/08/2009 at 1:02pm by ithedarkknight
Sneak in and punch holes in all of them with a needle
Then when you see her knocked up, cowtip her ass.
#72 - On 07/08/2009 at 1:59pm by cpatrick820
You seriously asked for your condoms back? For real? Dude, buy a new pack. Your ex-girlfriend was cheating on you and then dumped you! Condoms should be the last thing on your mind. Plot your revenge! Cheating always deserves revenge.
#76 - On 07/08/2009 at 4:17pm by sickinlove13
At least you won't have a bitch ass hooker for a girlfriend anymore.
#79 - On 07/08/2009 at 5:12pm by YoungTechnique
YDI for having a C-section unless there wasn't another option. If you did it to not go through the whole thing YDI x 1000
#80 - On 07/08/2009 at 6:08pm by billchilled
Well, if the price of a box of condoms is worth it to be rid of this stupid Ho, then you got off cheap. Good Job!
#81 - On 07/08/2009 at 7:40pm by helpmeiamblind
Just tell her that you heard a story on the news about how that particular brand of condoms manufactured at whatever date, or whatever info it is they put on condom boxes, had been recalled because of reports of breakage.
#84 - On 07/08/2009 at 10:26pm by qwerty123456789
Asking for them back sounds like you just want to use them yourself, which makes you just as bad as her. Just go buy new ones and avoid arguing.
Whores: the second largest occupants of Fmylife. You can now join the club of all the other unlucky fellows who also picked sluts for their girlfriends.
Don't worry OP, many people feel your pain.
#94 - On 07/10/2009 at 12:12am by epicFAIL_Sometim
And doesnt it seems like more guys get cheated on then girls?
That woman deserves a baby and a lovely case of AIDS
I would've poked holes in each one... Nothing says revenge like shitty ass diapers.
#97 - On 07/12/2009 at 8:11pm by TheEntertainer89
no I think it's because your small dick didn't fit into them. so she was experimenting with other guys.
#102 - On 02/22/2010 at 1:09am by korcagirl1
