Sex, Dogs, Lonely and Intimacy: Bad boy

Bad boy

By a-non - 02/02/2009 15:57 - United States

Today, I realized that the dog humping my leg was the most action I've gotten in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 080

You deserved it 8 209

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Same thing different taste

Doggy style

By failuretolaunch2 - 26/02/2015 03:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I'm dating a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 552

You deserved it 4 895

Not helping

By Anonymous - 19/06/2022 06:00 - Spain

Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 1 277

Humping

By needanotherbed - 28/05/2014 14:21 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 388

You deserved it 6 186

By GiveADogABone - 15/10/2015 22:47 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 041

You deserved it 3 511

Showtime

By Anonymous - 16/09/2019 12:00 - United States - New York

Today, I accidentally rammed my finger into my desk, and it felt like I'd broken it. Yelping in pain, I fell over onto my bed, missed it, and landed on the floor. My dog saw this as a good opportunity to climb on top of me and start humping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 581

You deserved it 297

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Kelsiiii - 11/03/2020 03:00

Today, I pretended to be dead in front of my dog to see what he would do. He started to hump me, and when I tried to get up, he growled at me until I got back down on the ground to wait until he was finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 2 090

By Puppy Loverr - 25/08/2011 07:12 - Australia

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 430

You deserved it 4 840

Exercise One

By blah - 02/06/2020 23:00

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 419

By anonamous - 12/03/2012 21:45 - United States

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 159

You deserved it 9 119

By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 730

You deserved it 8 310

Eladar 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 18:52

was it a hot dog? =p

ufail 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 8:08

was it good?

Comments

zillia_fml 0

Friday 27 February 2009 5:04

sucks, try getting laid

kaytee05 0

Wednesday 14 April 2010 21:40

oh geez! go to a club r something quik haha(;

ufail 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 8:08

was it good?

podrummer9209 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 3:20

If you're hot and female, I'll fix that. All joking aside, I'm sorry. I know how you feel. Losing a steady lover really sucks in more ways than one.

elisabeth96 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 22:06

loser.

ameeturtle 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 15:59

i bet YOU can't get laid..

Eladar 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 18:52

was it a hot dog? =p

genius_man16 0

Friday 26 June 2009 20:43

LMAO

ExtraBaggage 0

Friday 27 March 2009 19:23

LOL WOW.

loftobot 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 6:09

#3 lol

mykehale 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 20:37

how old r u? im 12 and i get more action than that

girandwogpig 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 6:04

I'm 13 and with a 15 year old....beat that

thecoldhardtruth 0

Monday 3 August 2009 23:39

#9 u shouldnt count jacking off as getting more action #12 no1 likes a liar ill bet ur testes havent finished descending yet

reyemrein 0

Saturday 6 March 2010 3:50

^ Win

SuiGeneris01 2

Saturday 24 April 2010 13:31

little faggots!! you need 17 years or older to be on here!! get outa here!!!!

Justforlolz 14

Wednesday 23 June 2010 21:57

#14 WIN. Lol

codilashea15 0

Saturday 2 October 2010 8:37

I'm 13 with a 15 year old... it's not that hard to do

amrik 11

Tuesday 2 November 2010 1:59

hey I'm 12 to :)

ameeturtle 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 16:01

****..

hazelbower 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 5:36

yeah okkk

cajungirl 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 1:44

thats okay it has been almost a year since i have even kissed a guy!! :(

tanlewis27 7

Sunday 9 December 2012 5:34

Hahahahahaha probably because you're ugly as hell!!

nigga_please123 0

Monday 3 August 2009 4:27

hahaha # 9 is a ******* man *****....hahaha sure u do buddy

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I'd left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 307

You deserved it 3 970

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 005

You deserved it 21 832

The Top

Today, I had a small gathering of family and friends over to celebrate my son's baptism. One of my friends happens to be a police officer. The entire event consisted of him arresting three of my family members. Don't worry, he came back to get some cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 433

You deserved it 4 393

Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 895

You deserved it 71 423

Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "Anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said, "You're welcome!" and now they're going out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 079

You deserved it 45 322

Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 432

You deserved it 1 116

Today, I was volunteering at the library. A kid came up and asked me to help him peel the back off his sticker. It took me so long the kid left. Determined, I still tried to peel it off. Fifteen minutes later, the librarian came over, looked once at it, and told me it wasn't a sticker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 179

You deserved it 41 834

Today, the snails have been so prolific that not only have I lost any hope of growing vegetables this year, but they have actually eaten all the flowers off my crocuses, and the broom on the terrace looks like it’s wearing hair gel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 68