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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I accidentally deleted my entire email inbox. Everything from the last 3 years. EV-ER-Y-THING. FML

#54626
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13055) - you deserved it (49199)

On 02/16/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by loserman - United States (California)

Today, I was watching TV when the Jim Beam commercial came on with the hot girl saying how she likes her men fat and hairy. My mom walked in and said, "See honey, you still have a chance." FML

#54355
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35185) - you deserved it (4171)

On 02/16/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by LonelyInLA (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the airport, about to listen to Disney's Camp Rock soundtrack on my iPhone. I pressed play, only to realize that my headphones weren't plugged in all the way. Everone sitting near me heard Joe Jonas' voice coming from my phone. I am 40 years old. FML

#54346
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10220) - you deserved it (60003)

On 02/16/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by Italian_Stallion (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML

#54081
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48124) - you deserved it (13445)

On 02/16/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by pineapple456 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML

#53082
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8585) - you deserved it (63840)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looks at me and asks "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML

#52695
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37707) - you deserved it (9673)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:08pm - misc - by k (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I lost 200 dollars while playing poker with my new sunglasses. Turns out you can see the cards in the reflection. FML

#52319
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11044) - you deserved it (69829)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by jwz (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML

#52270
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34771) - you deserved it (5401)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by mags (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at work. I work at a grocery store and a woman pulls a cart to me filled with chips, breads, lunch meats, and sodas. I said to her "Looks like you are going to have a fun party" she then looks at me and says "My mother just died, this is for after the funeral. FML

#52207
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31587) - you deserved it (8035)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by KMKWEEN (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I drank a ton of beers for my 25th birthday. My friends love to watch me open beer bottles with my teeth. I chipped both of my front uppers doing this. I'm no longer covered by my parents dental insurance because I'm 25 now. FML

#52066
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8143) - you deserved it (61243)

On 02/16/2009 at 8:01am - misc - by bready (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked by my roommate and his girlfriend while they were hugging. I asked "what's up lovebirds?". Turns out they were in the middle of a breakup. FML

#51436
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30422) - you deserved it (8023)

On 02/16/2009 at 2:36am - misc - by dammit_ (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was pulled over by a motorcycle cop for speeding in a 25 MPH zone. As the cop was walking towards my car, I flicked my cig-bud out of my window. So, the cop did me the pleasure of writing me two tickets instead of one. FML

#51182
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8252) - you deserved it (129535)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Dani_Rich - United States (California)

Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML

#51117
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41947) - you deserved it (2671)

On 02/16/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)



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