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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML

#1905564
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39502) - you deserved it (18495)

On 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going through my moms closet. On one of the shelves, I found two baby books. One was mine, the other was one for a dog she owned before I was born. I looked through them both. The dog's baby book was filled out more than mine was. FML

#1905571
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44650) - you deserved it (3742)

On 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm - kids - by stickers (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I decided to shave my legs completely to be more confident in my dress. I spent over an hour making sure my legs were perfectly shaved. It wasn't until I had been out awhile that I realized I forgot to shave my armpits. FML

#1904436
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20853) - you deserved it (48614)

On 05/13/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I let my 5 year-old niece walk my 3 month-old husky puppy while I watched. I didn't realize how strong my puppy actually is until she took off running while dragging my niece with her. My niece now has two busted up knees and chin and her mother is now calling my puppy "demon puppy." FML

Today, a parent came into my class and told one of my 6 year old students that their grandma died. Then the parent left. The kid started crying from the news, which then got all the other students crying. I spent the rest of the day comforting a class of kids crying over someone else's grandma. FML

#1902044
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50630) - you deserved it (3327)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple. Not the computer, the fruit. FML

#1901911
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62730) - you deserved it (5054)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by anon (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my cell phone rang while I was still asleep. I picked it up, half asleep, only to find it was a wrong number from some guy. Three minutes later I receive a text message saying "Hey, you sound cute..." from the same number. I looked to see if he was local. I'm that desperate. FML

Today, the girl I like called me and said she liked me. After I told her I liked her too, she didn't say anything. Thinking the call was a joke, I started screaming at her and calling her a slut. Turns out it wasn't a joke, she had just hit mute on her phone by accident. FML

#1900118
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17266) - you deserved it (123080)

On 05/13/2009 at 11:35am - love - by your_mother - United States (New Jersey)

purplestuff's comment : you overreact... badly...

See all the comments →

Today, we were running late for school so my mum shouted at me to hurry up and get in the car. I put my school bags in the boot of the car and my mum drove off. It wasn't until she got to my school and told me to get out that she realised I wasn't there. FML

#1898485
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53193) - you deserved it (3720)

On 05/13/2009 at 8:36am - misc - by albert (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was walking to find a public toilet in a Chinese village. While looking for the women's restroom, I stepped on a thin sheet of plastic. I fell into the toilet's waste collection area and found myself knee-deep in the villagers' faeces. FML

#1897379
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66053) - you deserved it (5258)

On 05/13/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by pooped (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I was cleaning my apartment because I'm moving. I was being really thorough so I could get as much of the damage deposit back as possible. I noticed I still had one of those 3M plastic hooks on the wall, and when I went to carefully take it off, a large chunk of the wall came with it. FML

#1896240
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42458) - you deserved it (7869)

On 05/13/2009 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML

#1893907
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83884) - you deserved it (4609)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by chaos2007 - United States (Texas)

Today, while teaching English in Korea, my boss gave me a birthday present from her and all of my co-workers. It was a really fancy box. It had very nice wrapping. It had a pretty bow. It was kind of heavy. It was 6 bottles of dandruff shampoo. FML

#1892907
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43939) - you deserved it (7785)

On 05/13/2009 at 12:39am - work - by eslteacher (man) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)



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