The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

The scenic route

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 00:00 - Spain - Santa Cruz de Tenerife

Today, after spending thousands of Euros flying back to my home country to pick up my expensive prescription medicine, I found out that I can buy it 200 meters from my current home, without prescription, and at a quarter of the price. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 982

Mostly okay

By Anonymous - 15/09/2024 00:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I spilled coffee on my shirt and had to change before a big meeting. The only clean shirt I had was a gift from my brother. I didn’t notice it said "World’s Okayest Employee" on it until I was sat in the meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 269

Don't blame me!

By Anonymous - 15/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my parents told me they're getting a divorce because of all the strain caused by me nearly dying in an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 58

Quick learner

By BubbaCat - 24/04/2023 10:00

Today, I've been babysitting a 4 month-old for two days. This has made a great impression on my cat, because now I can't sit down without him jumping up and licking my face until I pat his butt and rock him like the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 209

Heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 23/04/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, in protest at my girlfriend stealing the blankets every night, I actually bought myself a separate duvet. She stole that one too in her sleep, wrapped it round herself, and turned over so many times it disappeared under her somewhere. I went and slept on the sofa in my dressing gown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 67

Unhinged

By Anonymous - 29/04/2023 12:00

Today, I recently participated in a play and my mom asked for the video, so I said that someone should be sending it soon. My dad said, "It's OK, she doesn't have friends, she hasn't had one since childhood, that's why she doesn't have the video." I do in fact have friends, and the video had been sent already but I forgot to check. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 130

Technologically challenged

By Anonymous - 27/11/2020 10:58 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, during my Zoom PTM my teacher screen-shared his Chrome tab, in which he had opened porn instead of the presentation he had to open, and now mom wants to change my school, where I've been studying in for past 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 145

Nature is healing

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my son fishing and we did quite well, catching enough for several nights worth of meals. Then, as we were packing up, the dumbass tipped the whole lot back into the sea because he somehow thought the freaking ocean was subject to catch and release. Four hours wasted FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 334

Gamers rise up

By marie - 03/12/2020 08:02 - United States - San Jose

Today, after a stressful day at work, I just wanted to go home and play video games. And then I broke my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 164

Take your medication

By my brain sucks! - 10/03/2022 22:00

Today, I’ve been getting my ass handed to me by my anxiety for nearly a year. I talked to my doctor about starting meds. I got so terrified of the possible side effects that I not only had an anxiety attack, I also had a panic attack. I still couldn’t bring myself to take the pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 259

I can't believe it's not better

By Anonymous - 04/10/2024 20:00 - United States - Leesburg

Today, I found out that my boyfriend (who is autistic just like me) was cheating on me. When I asked him why he would do this, considering he’s the type of guy who cannot stand being single, he said, and I quote, “I feel like I deserve better.” He’s now my ex, and is yet again complaining about being single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 125

That took a dark turn…

By lukey101 - 16/12/2020 16:58 - Australia - Caboolture

Today, I asked a colleague what part of town he was from. After explaining, he went on to say how much his wife loved the house and its location. That was of course until she died and soiled herself in their bed one night, which he didn't realise until the next morning. Sorry for asking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 164

5 Yelp stars

By Jeff89 - 16/05/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist to get a cavity filled. As the dentist was drilling, he accidentally hit a nerve and I ended up screaming in pain. The whole office heard me and now I'm too embarrassed to go back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 138

Bitch better have my money

By Pio - 22/02/2022 16:00

Today, I asked my coworker to pay back the $100 I'd loaned her when she fell on hard times. She’s owed me for almost a year now, and she always said she’d pay me back “Next week.” She responded by telling HR that I was “harassing” and “threatening” her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 182

Freudian slip

By Anonymous - 15/05/2023 00:00 - United Kingdom - Canterbury

Today, I was on a bus with my friend's older brother. He was kinda cute. I went to message my best friend, telling her how cute this guy was, how he was kinda packing downstairs, and how adorable he was. Two minutes later, he wordlessly turned his phone screen to me. It was the message. I sent it to him by mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 1 217

Am I the asshole?

By Anon - 22/05/2023 22:00

Today, I fucked up when I answered a phone call. I wasn't sure who the number was at first, and it turned out to be my ex girlfriend who had apparently been stalking me. She asked me how my new girlfriend was, and as I answered it in front of my girlfriend, she's now depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 247

Alexa, play "Isolation" by Joy Division

By Anonymous - 07/04/2022 02:00

Today, I woke up to my mum on the phone telling her boss that she'd tested positive for Covid, which means I can’t see my girlfriend before she moves 6 hours away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 132

In the heat of the moment

By Anonymous - 27/05/2023 00:02

Today, I was going at it with my boyfriend when he asked what nickname I wanted to be called. I told him to make something up. A few seconds later, he called me Buzz Lightyear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 506

Extra NSFW

By WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK - 31/05/2026 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, my girlfriend told me how she got the scars on her legs. I'd assumed they were self-harm scars. Nope, apparently getting sliced up turns her on, and if I want a good sex life, I'd better get used to cutting her thighs with a razor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 122

It's a holly jolly Christmas…

By Victor - 24/12/2020 14:02

Today, I usually take my daughter to daycare; my wife had to drop her daughter off at 8. The kid refused to get up, making them late. Wife argues with me, claiming I made her late. She said hurtful things and left late at 8:30. We haven't spoken and probably won't for the rest of Christmas week. I love Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 165

Smack my bitch up

By Anonymous - 02/06/2023 10:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I got naked after coming home. It's super hot where I live and I wanted to cool down before getting dressed again. As I was standing there, minding my own business, the cat I'm pet-sitting for a friend reached up and clawed me on the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 242

Doggy bag psycho

By Monalisa - 04/06/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I were having an argument over accidentally leaving a to-go container of leftovers at a restaurant. He asked me why I didn’t remind him and I said that I forgot. He asked me, “What if you forgot to breathe one day? You’d die.” Then he kicked me out of the car and told me to walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 95

Blackmail material

By Anonymous - 03/01/2021 05:01

Today, I was staying at a hotel and had a night terror. I woke up, yelled, "Fuck!" and realized I had shit the bed. I'd woken up my teenage daughter, who now knows I shit the bed in the middle night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 211

Cyrano

By Anonymous - 12/06/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my friends fancy each other and keep secretly asking me to write their sext messages. I'm essentially carrying on both sides of their sexy talk with myself, only I won’t be the one getting laid. Sometimes wish I was lesbian too, arranging a threesome between us would be easier than this FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 269

Filtered

By Anonymous - 09/11/2024 20:00 - United States - Monterey

Today, as a teacher, I was grading some essays when I yet again came across the word "unalive" when discussing the assassinations of JFK and Abraham Lincoln. As in, "JFK was unalived." I know language inevitably mutates over time, but us teachers don't have demonetization filters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 88

Crushed

By Anonymous - 17/06/2026 03:00 - Portugal

Today, I have an office crush that I'm completely in love with. I tried to make some type of connection, but to him I'm dead, I'm just like some kind of office furniture, like a lamp or a printer, but even more useless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 317

Triggered

By Anonymous - 14/11/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I finally decided to tell my partner that I was sexually harassed by another guy in high school. When I got to the point, she rolled her eyes, stopped me and said, "Why can't you just tell me something nice? I don't want to hear about it, it's triggering me." Well, thanks for your attention, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 121

Where am I?

By Blinded - 19/06/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I participated in the "Color Run," an event where you walk across town while people douse you with colored powder. They have yet to implement a rule saying you can't hit people in the face. My ears are pink and blue, my hair's orange, my lips and beard are purple, and I can see better WITHOUT my glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 842

The best day of your life

By Bridey Bride - 18/04/2022 22:00 - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, my sister looked prettier in her bridesmaid's dress than I did in my wedding dress. I love her to bits, but she won the genetic lottery out of the two of us, so even on my wedding day I feel inferior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 283

Coming out

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 22:00

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me with men, and gets turned on by the sound of men moaning and having sex. I've been his girlfriend for 7 years. I've just been his cover up this whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 524

You deserved it 191

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Wake up Messy DIY Embarrassing Awkward Love Cute Cheating Kids Pregnancy Family Money Birthday Animals Cats Kittens Dogs Parenting Crush Work Painful Sports Vacation Parents Babysitter AITA Holidays Friends Annoying

The Top

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 475

You deserved it 5 470

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 253

You deserved it 3 752

Today, I watched my boss try to stick a magnet to cardboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 811

You deserved it 3 812

Today, I heard some rhythmic moaning from the apartment next door. It took me 10 minutes to realize that my neighbor was not having it off, she was actually vacuuming her apartment. It's been so long since I've had sex that I can't even recognize the sound of other people having it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 097

You deserved it 4 530

Today, I left the sliding glass door to our townhouse open because it was such a beautiful day. Our new puppy, whom we have been potty training, peed in the yard and I praised him relentlessly. He then walked inside the house, pooped on the carpet, and ran back outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 312

You deserved it 7 307

Today, my daughter is 16 hours-old and cries every time I pick her up, and refuses to be breast fed. She loves sleeping peacefully in her dad’s arms, and being bottle-fed by him. My 16 hour-old baby hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 263

You deserved it 352