The Top

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DAD! NO!

By Fresca11 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend. We'd just got our food when my dad walks in, comes up to our table and says, "I didn't say you could leave, you're too young to be dating him", then drags me out of the restaurant. We are both 15, and it was my first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 855

You deserved it 14 213

Rejection

By creditwhore - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I decided to apply for a credit card to help build up my credit rating. It seemed smart since I'm a 24 year-old college graduate. I was rejected for not having a credit history. Being rejected turns out to hurt your credit history. The irony of my predicament is too great for words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 812

You deserved it 2 926

Congrats!

By Uhh - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at my sister's wedding reception. My boyfriend of three years decided to give a toast to the happy couple. He was drunk and confessed his undying love to my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 564

You deserved it 3 858

How very dare you?

By Sara - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Manassas

Today, while working, a woman complained that she didn't ask for sauce on her sandwich. After examining the sandwich, I realized it was just melted cheese. When I told her, she threw the sandwich at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 580

You deserved it 1 859

Mystery solved

By thatstinks - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Iceland

Today, I finally found out what the weird sour smell that's been in my dorm room for a while is. My roommate's sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 775

You deserved it 3 012

On the scene

By fire1 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 623

You deserved it 2 364

Kids…

By Courtney - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at my job as a teacher, I saw a student cut another student's hair, I stopped a group of students from eating glue, and I had to tell a student to put away the toy cars he was playing with. I teach high school math. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 670

You deserved it 1 331

Great, just great

By never_ending_hangover - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend out to meet my coworkers for the first time. I really wanted to impress them, and get them to think how cool we are to hang out with, since I am new to LA. Instead, my boyfriend threw up in my boss's sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 343

You deserved it 4 904

Great idea for a prank

By Lordy - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Saudi Arabia

Today, I went to work to find a picture on my desk of me with my buttcrack showing put there by an anonymous person. FM

I agree, your life sucks 13 678

You deserved it 2 473

Sneaky

By MrsRODixon - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Pencoed

Today, I received an urgent call from my son's nursery asking me to collect him, saying he was, "lethargic, complaining about being ill and crying." I get there and he's running around, playing, and admitted that he just wanted to come home. They still made me take him home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 137

You deserved it 2 906

C'mon, do me a solid

By comeonnow - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Coldwater

Today, my mom's boss reversed into my parked car. She expects me to say that it's my fault so she doesn't have her insurance increase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 695

You deserved it 784

Public service announcement

By apaterra - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Washington

Today, I had to come up with a new rule for my library's patrons: If you, your child, or your dog has thrown up on our books, we DON'T WANT THEM BACK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 667

You deserved it 1 569

He's probably right

By Ferniferousfern - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my boyfriend of several years outright refuses to come to my best friend's wedding, on the grounds that he'll be "bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 461

You deserved it 525

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, while bringing my baby an early-morning bottle, I tripped over a ball and fell into the glass coffee table, smashing it and cutting myself pretty badly. My husband slept through the whole thing, but the neighbors came by to tell me to keep it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 157

You deserved it 326

Self-awareness Day

By Luciano - 11/08/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my coworker is two months pregnant. I used condoms with her every time, so I’m not sure how the fuck it happened. I’m the only man she’s been with. I tried to give her money for an abortion but she insists on keeping it. She knows damn well I have a real wife and kids, and I can’t afford to lose them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 643

Close shave

By Anonymous - 12/08/2026 12:00 - Canada - Kent Bridge

Today, as I was taking a walk, I heard a cyclist and so I wanted to move to the other side of the sidewalk for them. It turns out that I walked directly in front of them instead. Nearly scared them to death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 133

The golden child

By Gone - 16/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my wife changed her mind on us having kids, because her eight year-old son said he liked being an only child. She says that my devastated and angry reaction is incredibly unattractive and immature, and that I need to accept compromise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 61

Tight fit

By Jeliss - 15/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my husband says money is tight. Apparently, we can’t afford new shoes for our son who is going back to school next week and we barely have food in the pantry and fridge, yet he pays $19.99/month for an OnlyFans subscription. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 66

I don't wanna go

By Anonymous - 14/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I came home after spending the past two months at summer camp, just for my parents to excitedly announce that I'm going to be spending the next two weeks in Florida with my grandma. We have to leave in literally a couple hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 52

Neighborhood watch

By Chris - 14/08/2026 22:00 - United States - Madison

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to tell me I'd left my car window open. I thanked him, went outside, and discovered it wasn't my car. He had just spent five minutes checking a stranger's vehicle because it looked like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 67

Take that stuff outside

By Anonymous - 15/08/2026 00:00 - United States - Pomona

Today, I'm an insomniac. My husband knows this but still woke me up throwing a fit because he lost a round on his stupid fucking cellphone game. He has to watch a 15 second ad for another life; meanwhile, I’ll be lucky if I fall back asleep before the sun comes up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 53

Self-sabotage

By DumbHead - 15/08/2026 03:00 - India - Chennai

Today, I really like my job and need it for sustenance. Despite that, my brain constantly finds ways to screw up my job. Outside of work, all my friends refer to me as "The Genius" or the "brilliant one". But at work, I'm a dunce. Why brain, why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 186

Bad seed

By Anonymous - 15/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Carrollton

Today, everyone says I'm being too hard on my son, who I disowned and went no contact with after he cleaned out all of my late wife's belongings without asking. I have nothing, literally nothing left of her now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 49

Gentry

By Hannay - 13/08/2026 20:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I bought a somewhat rundown house and started working on restoring it, cutting the grass, and doing exterior work. People from the neighborhood have asked me to stop, saying I'm "gentrifying" and "erasing the neighborhood character." I wasn't aware neglect and graffiti counted as character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 61

Stuck

By Anonymous - 12/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, my parents canceled our trip to Greece because my siblings were being brats. When I tried to point out that I wasn't doing anything, they just shrugged and said, "Sorry honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 64

A cry for help

By Anonymous - 10/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, is it normal to miss someone who’s hurt you so bad? How do you move on with life after wasting 3 years? How can you move on when everything around you reminds you of that person? When do you know enough is enough? FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 129

Send em

By Anonymous - 12/08/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, like millions of others before me, I decided to start a YouTube channel. I was thorough, bought all the camera gear, decided on my content, came up with a gimmick, the works. The very first comment I got on my very first video was a request for nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 148

Discreet

By Anonymous - 14/08/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, I tried to discreetly remove a tiny piece of spinach from my teeth during a meeting. I was looking into my phone camera when I realized I wasn't on the front camera. I had been staring at the meeting in progress through the rear camera for thirty seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 281

You have been warned

By Anonymous - 16/08/2026 15:00 - United States - Rialto

Today, a woman showed me a copy of my wedding picture with her face photoshopped over mine. I burst into tears and cussed her out for being a creepy bitch. She had proof my husband had sent it to her that way, saying “this is how it should’ve been”. She was just trying to warn me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 51

Peanut allergies

By Anonymous - 13/08/2026 03:00 - Zimbabwe - Harare

Today, I bought a pack of peanuts to share with my partner and his 16 ear-old daughter, whom I'd just been introduced to. I asked him if I could eat his peanuts as well, since he wasn't eating them and, because my greedy mouth was stuffed with my own peanuts, it came out as, "Can I eat your penis?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 370

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The Top

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 756

You deserved it 9 644

Today, realizing how poor I am, I decided to steal gas. The only place I was brave enough to steal from was my parents' lawn mower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 027

You deserved it 38 484

Today, I had my first job interview for eight months. My interviewer noticeably yawned during my reply to the first question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 623

You deserved it 4 883

Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 254

Today, I was busy going over wedding plans with my fiancé, when my mother called. Apparently, she wants me to "drop the joke" about this "fake engagement", because she was under the impression I was only dating a white guy to piss her and dad off, and was now getting carried away with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 337

You deserved it 122

Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 160