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Me is what matters

By Anonymous - 15/08/2020 05:01

Today, my mother once again interrupted me and talked over me, as though I wasn't saying anything at all. Then she wondered why I remained quiet after she was done talking about her mother doing that. Must run in the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 127

Great job, Mom!

By BAintShht - 10/02/2023 16:00

Today, our dog became ill. My mom wasted no time attending her every needs and became very distressed. When I had appendicitis a few months ago, my mom told me to “sleep it off” and a friend had to take me to the hospital. She only called once to bitch at me for “doing this on purpose to make her feel bad.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 108

Gullible's travels

By YouveGotFraud - 09/01/2026 22:00

Today, I was house-sitting. A lady came to the door and demanded to know whose white car was in the drive. It was mine. She said she had video proof of me hitting her mailbox. I panicked, asked how much it was. She said $200. Later I checked my car. No damage. Impossible angle. I gave $200 to a strange old lady. With no proof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 806

Alexa, play "Tailights Fade" by Buffalo Tom

By Anonymous - 28/11/2021 19:59 - United States - Fredonia

Today, I got pulled over for a broken taillight. When I rolled down the window, the cop asked me if I was smoking crack. When I told him I didn't do drugs, he didn't believe me since he could detect a foul odor coming from my car. I'd just passed gas big time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 199

You deserved it 197

What fresh hell is this?

By What - 27/06/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, after going to the doctor, thinking I was going to be diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, it turns out my thyroid is "perfectly normal." Apparently the strange feeling in my neck that oddly mimicked the disease is "an autism thing", even though I've never noticed it happen until now. I am so confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 126

Social media was a mistake

By Gorgonzola - 13/11/2021 07:59

Today, my now ex-girlfriend dumped me because I refuse to open an account on Facebook, Instagram or whatever. Four years ago, I had to retire from social media for good because another ex-girlfriend was harassing me frequently. No, I didn't have any children with that ex, if that's what you think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 135

Tedious

By Anonymous - 09/02/2023 10:00 - United States - Boiling Springs

Today, I realized that I’m so used to be stood up or ghosted for dates that I don’t even bother getting ready. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 161

Superficial

By Jackielynn - 22/01/2026 00:00

Today, my new husband told me, “If you ever get comfortable during the marriage I’m leaving. So I’m getting you a gym membership to keep that body in check.” When I protested, he told me, “How would you feel if I packed pounds and look like Jabba The Hutt?” My silence was punctuated by an “Exactly.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 476

Misery loves Caturday

By Sara - 18/02/2023 14:00

Today, after I got a cat to help with my anxiety, it turns out he also has anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 184

Harsh

By jet - 19/02/2023 00:00

Today, I overheard my mom talking about how she would love me if only I didn’t have ADHD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 119

Shoot your shot

By Unlucky - 06/07/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally told the guy I like that I'm in love with him. He's the first person I have ever fallen in love with and owning up to my feelings was nerve-wracking due to my anxiety. He rejected me and ghosted me after saying he would get in touch soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 179

Confession

By Who knows - 19/02/2023 17:00 - Norway

Today, I sent my crush a confession about how dearly I missed him. He replied with a thumbs up emoji. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 420

WORRIED

By Katy Avada_80203913 - 20/11/2021 11:00

Today, I was woken up at 11:30 am by my mother standing over my bed, screaming at me. I'm 30 years-old, married, and do not live with her. She broke into my house because I didn't answer my phone, because I'm sick and on prescription sleep meds. WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 378

You deserved it 112

What? Why?

By Anonymous - 16/07/2024 14:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 1 134

Occam's razor

By Anonymous - 19/07/2024 06:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, it's been a month since I fell into a pile of dog crap whilst walking back from school with my crush. She hasn't texted me since, even though we were inseparable before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 102

Act your age

By notthatoldyet - 09/12/2021 10:59

Today, I was reliving my youth watching videos of *NSYNC on YouTube, when a suggested ad popped up for “Haircuts for women over 50.” I’m only 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 302

Believe her next time

By KICKxASSxNINJA - 26/09/2020 08:02 - United States - Fresno

Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 234

Grey's Anatomy has the same effect

By Anonymous - 10/12/2021 23:01 - United States

Today, I discovered that my recent binge-watching of “Young Sheldon” has caused me to hear Jim Parsons’s voice narrating everything I read. Including this FML. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 747

Distant love

By jadalaheart - 28/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Citrus Heights

Today, for the first time in more than two years, a guy asked me out. Too bad he lives halfway around the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 820

You deserved it 209

Who sharpens screwdrivers?

By Anonymous - 26/12/2021 14:01

Today, on my building site, I asked one of the guys to pass me a screwdriver. He threw it so hard that when I caught it, it stabbed into the meat of my finger and came clean out the other side. Now all the guys keep joking I got royally screwed. The jokes are worse than the pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 123

Play that Blink 182 song

By Mommys boy - 16/08/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize that said, "I miss you." Assuming it was my mom and her new phone, I replied, "Miss you too, love you!" Turns out it was my new boss, checking to see if I’d be able to work an extra shift. Even though it was her text that was badly worded, I'm now known as the person who declared her love to the boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 408

Boom boom boom

By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 16:00 - Australia

Today, I finally had some alone time to relax and watch a movie. As soon as I pressed play, my neighbor started blasting their music so loud I could feel the bass in my chest. I tried calling the landlord, but they didn't answer. I ended up watching the movie with subtitles while listening to my neighbor's music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 134

The ole answer/forward conundrum

By Master's_degree_in_failure - 17/10/2020 22:30

Today, I "answered" an email instead of "forwarding" it. As a result, there is a chance that my Master's thesis supervisor gets a message from me starting by the F-word, and complaining about my bad work and inability to understand a deadline. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 1 140

Extreme hangover

By Anonymous - 21/08/2024 00:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I woke up after I had gotten shitfaced, and tossed out of bars by bouncers several times. I even had pictures of my face circulated to other bars not to be served. I then met a woman I almost smoked crack with, and spent the rest of the night following her while she asked random homeless people for free crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 956

Ice Ice Baby

By Anonymous - 31/12/2021 20:01 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, I thought I’d preheat the car so I wouldn’t have to scrape the ice off the windshield and could start driving in a toasty vehicle. Turns out it’s a bit difficult to flip a switch on the dashboard of a car with the doors frozen shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 162

Queef Richards

By Anonymous - 31/10/2020 14:02

Today, I had two customers who had some questions about their phones. Walking over, my cooch graced us with an audible fart sound that I‘m sure everybody heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 142

Felt cute, may delete myself later

By Dragon - 04/04/2023 12:00

Today, in an attempt to flirt with a cute guy in art class I barely know, I put on his sweater while he was in the bathroom. He came back just in time to see me spill white paint all over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 1 699

Brainrot

By Anonymous - 31/08/2024 20:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my aunt sent me a Facebook post about how Halloween will fall on Friday the 13th for the first time in 666 years. She wasn’t making a joke, she sincerely believed that it was true. I’m starting to think she’s genuinely intellectually disabled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 89

Saucy minx

By Anonymous - 07/04/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when my date realised he wasn’t getting sex, even though it was the mythical third date when sex is supposedly guaranteed, he asked for the bill while I was still halfway through my main course, paid his share to the penny, and left. He'd driven me there, so I had to get a bus home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 201

Deal with it

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 02:02 - Argentina - Mar De Ajo

Today, apparently having mood swings at 37 weeks pregnant is being "braggy" according to my husband, and totally not acceptable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 166

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The Top

Today, at about 1 a.m. I got a drunk text from my girlfriend thanking me for the amazing sex last night. I have been out of town for 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 748

You deserved it 4 078

Today, I invited this guy I fooled around with over to "hang out". He's "en route", so I start to make my bed only to find my cat thought this was the best time to tell me she's sick by throwing up in my bed. I only have one set of linen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 857

You deserved it 7 171

Today, I fell violently ill half an hour into a flight. I got sick so suddenly that I projectile vomited all over my clothes and the seat in front of me, and to top it all off, I also got diarrhea. Eight more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 747

You deserved it 211

Today, it's only when my mom knocked on the door and asked, "Are you alright in there?" that I realised that I had been scrolling through the same Instagram feed whilst sat on the toilet for an hour. My legs had gone numb and I'm pretty sure the toilet seat is forever engraved in my arse cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 1 149

Today, it's been 3 days since my 95 year-old grandfather got a Vital Call (a big red button to call someone in an emergency). As I live close by, I'm one of the main contacts. I've been called over 6 times, most recently at 1:30 a.m. because he couldn't pull his pants up. He needs to be in a nursing home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 109

Today, my girlfriend cheated on me, and for the second time in two days. She has now cheated a total of 7 times in the space of 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 1 176