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Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 10:00

Today, I had to borrow my mom’s car to jump-start my battery-dead car. I got everything set up and it worked. Parked my mom’s car back into her spot, went into my car. And turned it off. Now I have to do it all again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 962

Evil always wins

By Anonymous - 21/03/2021 20:01

Today, I was in the Walmart parking lot listening to some music in my car and some lady comes up to me and say, “Boy, the music you listen to is so unholy, I think you need some Jesus in your life.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 343

Faithfull

By Anonymous - 20/09/2023 00:02

Today, my date walked out on me after I told him I was devout in my beliefs, including saving myself until marriage. Apparently, meeting me at Sunday services didn’t twig him to my faith, and he actually thought religious girls were all secret sluts like in the pornos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 376

By treehouse - 23/08/2017 13:00

Today, my family and I were going to start moving into our old house, and the large two hundred year old tree decided to move in too... through the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 580

You deserved it 210

By thefuckedupbunny - 18/08/2019 20:00

Today, while on the train with my dad, my boyfriend sent me a message. It was a nude, and when I looked, my dad saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 759

You deserved it 910

Poor old Truffles

By Anonymous - 15/04/2021 00:30

Today, my mom grabbed my iPhone and threw it from the balcony, because I didn’t cry on the fifth anniversary of our family dog’s death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 117

By MyDeliveriesCanWait - 24/08/2019 02:07

Today, I received the bubble wrap that I'd ordered. When I opened the box, almost every single bubble had been popped. At the bottom of the box, there was a sticky note that said, "Sorry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 913

You deserved it 144

No, it's not a cult, not at all

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 05:00 - United States - Seaside

Today, I found out that not only does my sister consider Fox News "reliable" but her husband has been buying Trump merchandise. They owe me $1,900 but they're literally giving a millionaire money instead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 240

You deserved it 453

Fireball

By Anonymous - 03/07/2022 22:00

Today, I went into work to finish one last task, but decided to also have a fire in the pit. I grabbed the wrong can of fuel and ended up taking a fireball to the face, singed the hair on my head, arms, and I have to shave my beard off… Well, what’s left of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 1 044

The YouTube police

By Anonymous - 11/10/2023 07:30

Today, just like almost every other day, my mom goes onto the computer and scolds me for what I watch on YouTube, even when the videos aren't that graphic. Today she scolded me because she found out that I'd watched videos related to the Max Headroom signal intrusion back in '87. Why can't I just watch what I want? FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 159

When clampers attack!

By frustrated - 04/09/2019 06:00 - Australia

Today, despite being parked in my work's car park, my car got clamped. It cost me $150 to get the clamp removed and all I got was "bad luck" from my boss and the clamper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 141

Unprofessional

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 04:00

Today, while at the hospital recovering from surgery, I overheard my doctor tell one of the nurses I'm so fat I could start a grease fire if left near an open flame. They thought I was still unconscious. I wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 406

Stand up for yourself

By eff that asshole! - 26/06/2022 00:01

Today, I overheard my mom’s boyfriend viciously berating and verbally abusing her. I got in his face and started yelling that he can’t talk to her that way. He stormed out and we haven’t heard from him since. Now my mom is pissed and wants to kick me out for “ruining” her relationship. Sorry I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 130

What did you expect?

By Overzealous cop of the day - 10/04/2025 12:00 - United States - New York

Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 1 497

Shut up! Shut up!

By Steve - 30/04/2021 01:59

Today, I found out the guy taking the cubicle next to mine is the annoying dudebro who punctuates, like, every sentence he says with, like, the word "like" every, like, three words. Like… FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 156

It was a different time…

By jane - 21/10/2023 18:00

Today, my boyfriend logged onto his old Skype account from 2012 to nostalgically look back at some old gaming chats. He started bawling when he came across his now-deceased online friend’s profile and reminisced about the good times. The whole chat consisted of the ‘N word’ sent back and forth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 227

Duolingo

By Anonymous - 17/04/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, a client came in and was struggling to speak properly. He said, “Sorry, no good English” so I offered a Spanish speaking colleague who could assist. He frowned and said he was from Greece. He threw a fit and got my manager involved. I got a write up and have to do an online sensitivity training. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 291

Justify My Love

By carrie - 09/05/2021 14:00

Today, my husband thinks I don’t love him. Why? Because I won’t poop with him in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 124

Special kind of not funny

By BDSarah - 17/09/2019 16:00

Today, my mom introduced me to everyone we met as her "special needs child." They all seemed to believe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 624

You deserved it 146

As a matter of fact…

By Hangryko - 11/05/2021 14:01 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, my mother told me to my face that if she could do it all over again, she wouldn't have had kids. Thanks, Mum. It's not like I asked to be born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 149

Run for your life

By Anonymous - 01/05/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, at work, we had a fire drill. I was the first to run out of the building, but in my haste, I tripped on the stairs, and rolled down the flight. When I got to the bottom, I tried to stand up, but my ankle was already swelling. What felt like the entire office watched as I limped to the designated meeting point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 446

EXPLAIN YOURSELF!

By khamiya - 18/05/2021 13:59

Today, as always, I'm not allowed to like anything, be it a food, type of music, TV show, book, video game, or even a color, without my parents asking me to explain why I like it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 184

You deserved it 173

Slight overreaction

By GiGib - 08/11/2023 06:00

Today, during my sister’s baby shower, my 3 year-old daughter choked on a piece of food. My sister got upset because this apparently attracted a lot of attention from the other guests, and called my daughter an “attention whore” for “choosing today of all days to make a damn scene.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 142

Noise annoys

By Headed Out - 06/08/2022 04:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I wore out yet another set of headphones. This is the third one in a year. I need my headphones whenever I go outside because I have sensory processing disorder, and a multitude of hearing disorders that painfully enhance my hearing. Guess I'm stuck at home until I can buy pair number four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 231

Boo!

By Today - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, in my school's rugby grand final, I had to take a penalty kick to win the game. Possibly the easiest kick I've taken all year. I stuff it up, and it completely missed. A crowd of 2000 people laughed, and later booed me off the field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 871

You deserved it 488

Bad tipper

By Sticky situation - 23/07/2022 02:00

Today, I was at a Baskin Robbins, and because of COVID, I don’t take any coin change. The cashier handed me $1 and a cent. I said, “Keep the penny.” That basically meant, “You're worth a penny”. She gave me the stink eye as I was leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 1 012

Third place

By Ali - 19/05/2025 03:00 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my husband came home and sat in his car out front for fifteen minutes. I went and knocked on the door, asking what he was doing. Apparently, I always dump so much shit on him the second he walks in the door that he needs a little peace between work and coming home to me. Ungrateful ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 1 844

Great start

By Anonymous - 06/10/2019 06:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was starting my new job in the city. A man with a torn suit on came up to me and asks me for spare change. In a hurry to catch a taxi, I declined and rushed to catch one. At the office, my boss was late. About an hour later, I found out the man in the suit was my boss. He was attacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 059

You deserved it 636

Life lesson

By Anonymous - 01/08/2022 06:00

Today, I was considering joining the army, so I asked my veteran uncle what the worst bits are. He told me the worst was learning for yourself just how horrible it is to see the light go out behind someone’s eyes as they die with your bullet in their chest. I don’t want to join the army anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 1 310

Libido

By Jena - 05/08/2022 10:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 279

You deserved it 351

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The Top

Today, I repeatedly had to ask people to please stop groping the mannequins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 121

You deserved it 3 137

Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 980

You deserved it 2 780

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 183

You deserved it 9 535

Today, I found out that my new roommate is dating my ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 875

You deserved it 147

Today, I went to the emergency room. A medicine I'm on for my nerve disease is causing me to have stomach pains. If I get off the medicine though, the nerve disease can get worse. If I stay on the medicine, I can continue to have stomach pains and vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 85

Today, our daughter got in a fight with her dad because she isn’t sure if marrying her boyfriend will make her happy. Her dad then said, "Well which do you want, to be happy or to be married? Because you can’t have both." We’ve been married for 32 years so it hurt hearing him say that. It hurt a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 166