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By Nurse - 31/08/2018 15:00

Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 897

You deserved it 758

Out of the frying pan and into the fire!

By cozzza - 29/08/2018 13:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, after 14 months of chronic acne, my doctor finally put me on medication for it. Just 24 hours after starting it, my face is bright red, peeling, and I have a puffy eyes. Turns out I'm allergic to it. My skin now looks 100x worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 739

You deserved it 189

Role model

By thanks sis - 03/07/2020 05:02

Today, I went over to visit my sister. She had a bunch of pictures of me on her wall. I thought it was sweet, but a bit odd. Turns out she looks at pictures of me to motivate herself whenever she doesn’t feel like working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 544

You deserved it 370

Don't let me be misunderstood

By Anonymous - 30/12/2022 03:00

Today, I was driving when this guy aggressively rode my tail and crossed over the yellow line to pass. He reached the stop light before I did, and I slowly pulled beside him and started clapping for this lunatic driver. He rolled down the window and said, "My daughter is in the hospital. How do I get there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 1 109

Charming

By Anonymous - 09/10/2021 05:00 - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, my chunky boyfriend told me that he'd be less attracted to me if I gained weight. I have low self-esteem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 169

Deception

By Anonymous - 17/05/2024 06:00 - United States - St Louis

Today, I found out that my parents have been lying about my birthday. Now it makes sense how they "lost the birth certificate" or how many photos of me as a baby are dated before I was actually supposed to be born, because "the camera must've glitched, we must've confused the date we wrote in the back of that card." FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 81

Dad of the month

By littl3storm - 11/07/2020 08:08

Today, I found out that my "Dad", the man who couldn't afford to buy me a bed, despite sleeping on the floor for 3+ years, has spent well over $3000 on sex chat lines, as well as cheating us out of child payments. He doesn't understand why I refuse to talk to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 489

You deserved it 134

Single dad struggles

By Just kids being kids - 02/12/2025 12:00

Today, I lost yet another girlfriend because of my kids’ behavior. The last one told me, “I’d rather get fisted by Freddy Krueger than deal with those hellspawn of yours!” At this point, I’m going to be a single dad forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 696

Relationship goals

By Anonymous - 25/05/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, the woman I’ve loved, cared for, and nursed through cancer, left me for her ex since he wants to get married and I don’t. I didn’t know that a piece of paper and a white dress mean more than unconditional love and support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 585

Alexa, play "Let's Get it On" by Marvin Gaye

By notsosexy - 18/07/2020 08:01

Today, I attempted to have amazing birthday sex with my boyfriend in his dorm room. Everything was going great until we tried switching positions. I hit my head so hard on the bunk above his bed that I gave myself a concussion, and blacked out. Needless to say, the moment was ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 826

You deserved it 353

Gas giant

By Anonymous - 29/07/2020 02:01

Today, I tend to get bloated in the afternoons when I suffer from stress. Lately, I've been so stressed out that I'm seriously considering buying maternity pants, because not even my stretchiest sweat pants will fit me after 4 p.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 447

You deserved it 254

Facebook science major

By Anonymous - 29/10/2021 20:00

Today, my mom yelled at me for still having a disability at the age of 30, because I should have "grown out of it by now." Then she blamed it on the fact that I got my COVID-19 vaccine. Autism isn't caused by vaccines and it's never going to go away, no matter how old I get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 326

You deserved it 126

Teambuilding

By Anonymous - 03/06/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was so nervous introducing myself to my new team, I actually mispronounced my own name, badly, and now that’s how everyone refers to me, but again, I’m too nervous to correct anyone. It’s been a week already, so correcting them now would be extra weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 556

Well read

By Anonymous - 13/10/2021 05:00

Today, I vented to someone about being left on read by someone else, and they left me on read as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 456

Oh, the irony

By I don't have an anger problem, the world has a moron problem - 29/12/2025 12:00

Today, I went to court-mandated anger management. The guy running the class was an insufferable little dweeb who wasted time teaching us fucking nursery rhymes. I wanted to break his stupid little nerd glasses. Everything about him makes me mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 821

Mom know best

By Anonymous - 27/01/2023 15:00

Today, I realized my mom was right. I should have listened to her and not gotten a pet alligator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 1 724

Let me think about it

By Girl - 31/12/2025 15:00

Today, my boyfriend proposed. He said, "Will you be the Eva Braun to my Adolf Hitler?" I struggle to think of a worse way to propose to a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 107

Explain that one

By Anonymous - 21/08/2020 02:03

Today, I was eating dinner with my husband and his family. My father-in-law says to my mother-in-law, "You know what’s in your mouth? Sausage!" It was so random that I laughed, as quietly as I could. My husband then loudly asked me what was so funny. Everyone went quiet and looked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 437

You deserved it 227

Bad guy

By not the bad guy - 25/11/2021 11:01 - United States

Today, my ex is bad-mouthing me, saying I dumped her because she got fat. That’s not true. I left because she completely gave up on life, no matter how much I tried to help. Not only did I get her gym membership, I even paid out of pocket for a mental health professional. That’s not cheap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 417

I'm tellin' y'all, it's a sabotage

By Anonymous - 16/02/2023 14:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I found out that my best friend of 10 years has been sabotaging every relationship or situationship that I’ve had for these past 10 years. No wonder I’ve been single for the majority of that time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 131

Surprise surprise

By Niva - 17/02/2023 18:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because his wife found out about me. And by extension, I found out about his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 235

You deserved it 214

Out in the cold

By Mixta - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - France - Roubaix

Today, my best friend showed me his New Year's Eve photos. Girls everywhere, booze flowing all over the place and all my friends were there. They still haven't realised that they didn't invite me. We've been friends for seven years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 347

You deserved it 3 618

Floor Is Lava

By FML Videos - 11/10/2018 00:30

Don't fall!

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 105

Breeder

By Anonymous - 27/02/2026 03:00

Today, hoping to earn some extra cash, I spent a fortune on a purebred pit bull so I could breed her. To my horror, the ad lied about her and she had already been spayed. When I tried to contact the seller to get my money back, they just replied, “Serves you right, backyard breeder” and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 1 119

By Anonymous - 10/04/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313 993

You deserved it 44 107

Mystery

By DaigCrainielson - 12/10/2020 23:01 - United States - Sun Valley

Today, I found out I had 3/4s of a Cheezit stuck in my sinus. No one knows how it got there, but the doctors found it while testing for COVID. I have an appointment soon to remove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076

You deserved it 236

Why not both?

By Rob - 14/08/2024 00:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my wife is furious with me because I would rather our teenage son see a counselor instead of a psychiatrist. I want our son to learn healthy coping mechanisms for life, not just take pills to make everything go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 447

This is going to get messy

By Anonymous - 10/03/2026 22:00

Today, my sister who I'm being a surrogate for told me that she changed her mind and doesn't want kids anymore. It's way too late for me to have an abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 104

Time just flies by

By Oliver Beck - 17/10/2020 08:03

Today, I found out the girl I like is in love with someone else. Five weeks ago, she told me she's never been in love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 201

Some friend…

By Chrissie - 31/03/2023 06:00

Today, I summoned the courage to tell this guy how I felt after weeks of the talking stage. I told him that I wanted to know where this was going. He responded by saying, “This is not going anywhere unless you lose at least 50 pounds… but you’re a great friend with an amazing personality though.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 318

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The Top

Today, I came home at 1 am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 696

You deserved it 4 048

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 205

You deserved it 4 309

Today, my boyfriend and I were on my bed when things started getting hot and it began to shake. My little sister called the entire family to the hall to listen to "the frogs in the wall". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 728

You deserved it 41 738

Today, I went to go see my boyfriend of over two years in a play. I knew that he'd be kissing his female opposite at the end of the show, and I was okay with that. I snuck into his dressing room at intermission to find him "rehearsing" with her half-naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 057

You deserved it 3 414

Today, I finally found a way to lesser the loneliness in my life. During at least one work or school zoom meeting a day, I "pin" a random female attendee's screen. That way, I can pretend we're staring into each others eyes the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 1 418

Today, my brother was suspended from school. He referred to himself as "Master" and two female classmates as his "bitches" in front of his teacher. He's ten years-old. What kind of family do I live in? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 127