Your everyday life stories

cplmadison - 23/04/2016 14:37 - United States - Battle Creek

Today I got a $237.50 ticket for an "offensive bumper sticker" FML

goddamnit - 23/04/2016 13:45 - United States - Braidwood

Today, I took the early morning cashier shift at a local fast food restaurant. As soon as my shift started, a group of three teenagers walked in, spending almost 15 minutes ordering their food. When their total was over the amount of cash they had, they cancelled the whole order. FML

Anonymous - 23/04/2016 12:15 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my mother called to tell me that I was no longer invited to my own birthday part that she was throwing for me. Why? Because she had invited a few more of her friends, and there wasn't going to be enough room in the house for so many people. FML

24whenwillihaveenoughmoneytomove - 23/04/2016 11:15 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I spent the whole night paranoid, hearing noises outside my room. I decided I was being dumb and decided to masturbate. And then my door moved. I was right. My mother was spying on me. FML.

Anonymous - 23/04/2016 10:18

Today, the new owners of the hotel I've worked at for 2 1/2 years cut everyone's pay by at least a dollar and half the staff decided to walk. They then brought back the toxic manager that made this place a backstabbing horror to work at, after she'd been fired 6 months ago. FML.

ifeelthelovemom - 23/04/2016 09:02 - United States

Today, I realized my mom likes my ex boyfriend more than me after she bought him $25 worth of food, spent $15 on him at the gas station then got mad at me for asking to get a drink that cost 75 cent... FML

freshlysingle - 23/04/2016 08:48 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I spent £30 on a train journey across the country to visit my boyfriend for a weekend at his place, taking some of his stuff with me. He took his stuff, then broke up with me. I spent £30 and two hours travelling to his house to deliver a pair of trousers and came back single. FML.

Bambi - 23/04/2016 07:54 - United States - Rexburg

Today, I got into a slight argument with one of my roommates. She was having boyfriend trouble and yelled at me that I was wrong with my advice, farted, and walked away. FML.

Anonymous - 23/04/2016 06:32 - Australia - Townsville

Today, I was trapped on the balcony of my second story house because the door locked behind me. I had to wait for my neighbour to come outside to ask him to come and unlock it. Fml

mylonius - 23/04/2016 06:19 - United States - Fergus Falls

Today, my best friend was ranting to me about how she still hates her abusive ex-boyfriend, even though they broke up a year ago and he moved away. I didn't have the heart to tell her that he's moving back next year. FML

Anonymous - 23/04/2016 06:11 - United States - Appleton

Today, I signed up for a free amazon prime trial. A while later while watching TV with my mother I figured during the break I'd get it setup on my ps3. As she watched she horrified me by asking if I was about to watch porn on it. I was so speechless I just turned off my ps3. FML

Luluthus - 23/04/2016 06:04 - Denmark - Holstebro

Today, my sister is pregnant, my Brother got promoted and my parents are going to Hawaii on vacation. I reached the final level of candy crush though. FLM

train pain - 23/04/2016 06:02

Today, I'm sitting on an 8 hour over night train. The man next to me has the same destination. He also is asleep resting on my lap, but I am too socially awkward to ask him to move. FML.

thisismyusername - 23/04/2016 05:45 - United States - Frisco

Today, I threw up at work and kept feeling like I was going to heave again. I work in food service and assumed I would be sent home since that's what policy dictates. I wasn't sent home. I guess they don't care if everyone gets sick from my touching their food. Enjoy your fast food folks, but FML.

ChildhoodTerror - 23/04/2016 05:29 - United States - Mesquite

Today, my friend of 3 years has convinced herself that I'm not real and I'm pulling some elaborate prank on her, pretending to be the guy she met yesterday. Why? Simply the guy and I share the same regional accent from the same hometown. She won't accept any logic and refuses to speak to me now. FML

JosephKorso - 23/04/2016 04:39 - Australia - Perth

Today, as a pizza delivery driver, the customer answered the door naked. I wouldn't have minded all that much if it wasn't a dude. FML

MysticPizza - 23/04/2016 04:36 - United States - New Castle

Today, my husband's hairy legs are smoother than my recently shaven ones. FML

nudes of who!? - 23/04/2016 04:32 - United States - Potsdam

Today, I found out why my boyfriend never added me on snapchat, because his exgirlfriend is his #1 best friend on it. FML

meaganlo - 23/04/2016 04:28 - United States - Shelby

Today, I found out my husband has been cheating on me with someone really close to me. No, not my best friend. My mother. FML

OP - 23/04/2016 04:28 - United States - Dayton

Today, I had my first interview, everything was going great. After we wrapped things up and I get in the car and I noticed a had a huge booger in the corner of my nose. FML

Xelabasat - 23/04/2016 04:19 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, I had a colonoscopy, I also learned I'm allergic to Latex. The hard way. FML.

SignYetisAreDangerous - 23/04/2016 04:10 - United States

Today, I almost swerved off the road. Why? Because I mistook a white sign for a yeti; a fucking yeti...in the middle of Virginia. FML.

AllAloneAdult - 23/04/2016 04:08 - Canada - Toronto

Today, at work, I work at Walmart, I was filling the eggs back up when a customer tried to grab eggs off of my skid after I warned her it wasn't stable. Three boxes fell off breaking every egg. I got written up for the incident. FML

badteacher - 23/04/2016 03:52 - United States - Saint Clair

Today, I was talking to one of my co-workers. I was complaining about my increased insurance prices and accidentally dropped the F bomb in front of thirty 2nd graders. Now they won't stop repeating me. FML

Anonymous - 23/04/2016 03:37 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I had to take my dumbass brother to the hospital. After he once again ate a raw chicken leg on a dare. He's done this 3 times already, he's 22. FML

0.0 - 23/04/2016 03:19 - United States - Middletown

Today, i found my wife's journal. She's been pushing me away so i decided to read some hoping to learn why. Instead i learned she was unsure if our twins were even mine until they were born, hates me because im too "soft", but doesn't want a divorce in fear of her reputation.

DBryant20 - 23/04/2016 03:18 - United States - Houston

Today, the only exciting thing to happen to me all week is that I finally took a solid poop, FML.

meowymomma - 23/04/2016 03:13 - United States

Today, i begged my boss to let me sit for a minute, after i had used my inhaler over and over with no relief. I ended up going to the hospital fighting to breathe, and still got written up. FML

Ohnoezy - 23/04/2016 03:05 - United States - San Francisco

Today, Im a girl with major anxiety issues regarding using public restrooms. I finally had the courage to take a shit at my college bathroom. However, because of my anxiety of getting it done so fast, I didn't even bother to check the door signs. I was in the men's restroom. FML

I don't understand :( - 23/04/2016 03:05 - United States - King George

Today, I was happy because I got to spend time with my crush at a school event. Just before he left, he took me aside and said that another girl cried on his shoulder before confessing that she loved him. He asked for my advice because "you're a girl, maybe you understand all these girl things". FML

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my man complained about having to listen to my "emotional problems for hours." Yeah, we did talk for two hours, 90% of which was him asking for my advice on which new mattress to buy for his bed. FML

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Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

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Today, my ex-boyfriend is now dating my cousin, and he's stopped hanging out with me for her. FML

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Today, I am down to 3 euros. My mother just stole the last two euros from me. I asked what she needed them for? Condoms. My mother can have safe sex. I can't buy lunch tomorrow. FML

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Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML

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Today, I thought my new kitten had gotten out, so I roamed the streets in the pouring rain, screaming his name for hours. Eventually, my fiance called and said he was home from work. I cried that the cat was gone, and he said, "What do you mean? He's on my lap." FML

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