Your everyday life stories

Thelonelydino - 28/04/2016 12:05 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mother riding my boyfriend. FML

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Grease - 28/04/2016 12:05 - Egypt - Cairo

Today, I am on fat burners, was in the office when I felt the need to fart. Only when I felt my under pants soaking wet with an oily stinky liquid that i realized how these fat burners work!

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Mr.Not So Smiley - 28/04/2016 12:03 - Canada - Nepean

Today, I found out that around 20 years ago when I got headbutted in the mouth during a game of octopus tag my front tooth died. The tooth is only now starting to crack and I require a root canal and a crown so I do not look like some thug with a gapped smile. My student insurance just expired. FML.

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moo - 28/04/2016 11:15 - United States - Charleston

Today, my brothers yelled at me for two hours. Why? Because I killed a cow in Minecraft. FML

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The_Skittish_One - 28/04/2016 10:14 - Australia - Bondi

Today, I was so tired and stressed in the morning that after putting my smoothie powder and milk into a shaker I forgot to screw the lid on. After one shake, brown, gunky liquid was splattered all over my clothes, my face, and my kitchen. FML

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broken ankles - 28/04/2016 09:57 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I bought some new anti dandruff shampoo. later that evening, I was in the shower, washing my hair. the shampoo is so thick that I slipped on it, resulting in two broken ankles. obviously, not being able to walk, I had to call out to my mum. I haven't shaved anything in over 6 months. FML.

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CancerStick - 28/04/2016 09:48 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I started smoking again after four years, knowing what it would do to my lungs. I didn't, however, expect Chernobyl in my intestines. FML

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jesswoo - 28/04/2016 09:22 - United Kingdom - Uxbridge

Today, I was sat on the floor wearing just a big t-shirt, blowdrying my hair. I have long hair and my puppy wandered over and started trying to bite it as it flicked back and forth over my shoulder. She missed and bit me square on the nipple. Hard. I wasn't wearing a bra. FML

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JoyridePencil - 28/04/2016 08:47 - United Kingdom - Northolt

Today, I had a dream that I did well in my Business Studies exam. I slept so long that I overslept, I missed the bus and having no other way to get into college I missed the exam that I originally dreamed of doing well in. FML

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Bawsack - 28/04/2016 08:22 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, it was my dad's birthday so my mum suggested we went out to a restaurant. There ended up being 15 of us in total because people kept turning up. To cut a long story short, everyone thought someone else was paying. Guess who got stiffed with a bill for over £450. Yep. Me. FML.

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air14 - 28/04/2016 08:18 - Switzerland - Meilen

Today, while working as an military paramedic at an air show I asked an old man to stop peeing in our break sector and to use the sanitary installations a 100 meters away instead. He then spit on me, called me a Nazi and made the Hitler salute. FML.

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Alla - 28/04/2016 08:14 - Australia - Brisbane

Today 5 of my classmates said sorry on behalf of our class to the teacher we've been giving hell to. And she said 'That's very nice girls, none of you have been rude' then she pointed at me and said 'except maybe you'. I do nothing in that class and i never chat back WTF!? FML

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individual00 - 28/04/2016 08:03 - United Kingdom

Today, after years of public sector pay freezes, I finally got a 1% pay rise. Thanks to an increase in NI however, I've actually ended up with less money. FML

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bellatrix - 28/04/2016 07:55 - Uganda - Kampala

Today, i found out my boyfriend of two years is hitting on my friend. The friend who told me he was having a baby with another woman. The friend who then told me she prayed to God about it and HE said yes.So they are dating. FML

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tooearly - 28/04/2016 07:51 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I live in a house with 3 guys they enjoy partying properly, this morning I got downstairs and found one of them had shit on the window, nobody is owning up and it looks like I get to clean it, FML

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SpongeBobRus - 28/04/2016 07:26 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I work in an aquatics store, my store isn't even open yet but I've already had an eager customer at the door asking if we know why there's no clownfish in Bikini Bottom and if we stock 'any of those SpongeBob fish'. These sort of question happen daily! FML

ADuckNamedPhil - 28/04/2016 07:17 - New Zealand - Papakura

Today I decided to cancel my appointment with the dentist for the crown on my cracked tooth, because my mother died yesterday and I need the money I saved for the crown to pay for the flight to the funeral on the other side of the world. Immediately shatter tooth on meal spouse insists I eat. FML.

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Anonymouse - 28/04/2016 07:07 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, as usual, I handle my pet rat. I let him climb on me, I don't mind the mild scratches as I was wearing a jumper. Turns out that scratches tend to show more on skin than I thought so when I wore a T-shirt, I was accused of being attacked by a lion by my mum. Now I can't visit my dad. FML

drop it - 28/04/2016 06:35 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I was literally scared to the floor when my dad walked into the room from the darkness. He said I literally went from standing to the floor within a second. While he's all good and laughing, my ass is killing me. FML

gross - 28/04/2016 06:27 - Australia - Wilston

Today, I ignored a middle aged man's obscene cat calling. He responded by trying to spit on me. FML

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screw this, i quit - 28/04/2016 06:18 - United States - Mahomet

Today, I was told by the girl I spent over a thousand dollars flying cross-country to get away from her abusive' husband that I was an idiot for caring about her and she's going back to him. FML

ilytyvm - 28/04/2016 06:12 - United States - Johnstown

Today, I am 6 months pregnant. My hormones are so out of control that I started sobbing when my boyfriend asked me what I wanted for dinner and I didn't know. It's now 4 hours later and he's still laughing at me. FML

Anonymous - 28/04/2016 05:40

Today, I got a "surprise" from mother nature, during school, in light wash jeans. FML

cookiemonster - 28/04/2016 05:35 - Austria

Today, I popped the cherry on the sofa in my girlfriend's parent's house. It left a stain. The sofa is white and her parents noticed soon after. Oh, and I wasn't speaking figuratively. I sat on the damn cherry and squashed it. FML

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I've been poonked - 28/04/2016 05:28 - United States - Oxford

Today, I found out the man I've been dating, who told me he loved me, who talked about marriage and kids and a future with me, has only been with me because "that poon is insane". FML

Praz3721 - 28/04/2016 05:26 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I landed back in paradise in Hawaii, every time I come to this island I am dating someone and every time I leave, I'm single, I come here 8 times a year, FML

areyoukiddingme - 28/04/2016 05:24 - United States - Henderson

Today, I saw a lady drop couple hundreds after walking out of a bank. I picked them up and ran after her. I managed to say, "you dropped yo-" before getting peppersprayed and getting my not-so-happy sacks crushed..FML

WhoaZombie - 28/04/2016 05:22 - United States - Niles

Today, I had to get out of bed at 2am to go tell my parrot to stop playing with his bell. I covered his cage and turned out his light hours ago. This bird hates sleep like a teenager, meanwhile I really need it! FML

señor hooplah - 28/04/2016 04:58 - United States - Seattle

Today, I got up, and on the way to work, I was cut off by another car, I hit her, now she's filing a lawsuit against me saying I tried to kill her. I've broken my leg and she's fine, if anyone I should be filing the lawsuit. FML

#WhyMe - 28/04/2016 04:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I spent 40 minutes bashing my manager to my mom and her boyfriend. Turns out my manager is a friend of my mom's boyfriend. FML

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, some friends and I went to Cosmic Bowling where they have a blacklight. Everyone's teeth were glowing. Mine weren't. FML

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Today, it was my turn to do the dishes. My lazy dad just leaves his dishes in the sink without even wiping or rinsing them out, and it's been going on for weeks. When I confronted him about it, he gave a childish huff and said, "Well, next time, YOU make me breakfast!" He's unemployed and never does the dishes. FML

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Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

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Today, my wife woke me up, saying her husband was home and that I needed to escape before he caught me. I was still struggling with the window when I remembered I’m her husband and she was laughing, filming my half-asleep ass trying to escape from being caught by myself cheating with my own wife. Duh. FML

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Today, I finally decided to open up to my supervisor about my horrible depression. I was crying my eyes out in her office when she announced that she had to leave and go to a meeting, leaving me to cry alone in her office. FML

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Today, I overheard my niece telling my daughter that a woman’s only real purpose in life is to find a good man and make sure he’s happy. This includes having his babies, cooking his meals, and submitting to him in any way he asks. My sister is a business owner. I have no idea where she got this. FML

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