Your everyday life stories

StupidUsername89 - 27/04/2016 21:51 - United States - Maysville

Today, I thought it would be funny to prank my friend by putting clear tape on his doorway and setting off the fire alarm, with him running into it. It wasn't so funny when he jumped off his balcony and broke both his legs. FML

dewey25 - 27/04/2016 21:34 - United States - Frankfort

Today, I had my laptop taken away in class... For taking notes. FML.

why me - 27/04/2016 21:26 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, I failed my drivers test. Since Monday I have had food poisoning, had a viral infection which has caused me to miss university and take days off work, I have now been fired from work and have failed university because I missed an exam. My boyfriend has also slept with my best friend. FML

anonymous - 27/04/2016 21:15 - United States - Bellevue

Today, I had to walk home to get to a practice in the rain without an umbrella . Not only was there hail as well, but there was also a tornado warning. Halfway home I find out my practice was cancelled. I'm soaking wet for nothing. FML

Anonymous - 27/04/2016 21:06 - United States - Newark

Today, me and my friend were having a playful arguement, when he said that my mother was stupid for having me. I jokingly countered with,"well at least my mother wanted me", I had forgotten that his mom moves to Florida after his birth. FML

lopsidedmum - 27/04/2016 21:04 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I have one breasts twice as big as the other thanks to my daughter refusing to feed from of my breasts. Wouldn't have been so bad if my original cup size wasn't F. I have a watermelon sized breast on one side and a grapefruit on the other. FML

AlbertNeinstein - 27/04/2016 21:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I received over 1000 newsletters in my email. It seems someone signed my email up for every possible newsletter in the world, and had the time to do it.FML

Vandy - 27/04/2016 20:54 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I decided to go to my schools study center at noon to get some last minute studying in for my test at 3 pm. Apparently, the study center is closed from 1 pm to 4 pm, and they lock the doors in that time. Sitting out of sight and with headphones on, I was locked in, and missed my test.

TheBeautifulJourney - 27/04/2016 20:51 - United States - Flint

Today, my pregnancy took a new level when my morning sickness caused me to throw up on the bathroom floor, and then burst into tears because it looked like a 'cute little dog' as I can recall saying. FML

really?! - 27/04/2016 20:51 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I resubmitted a short story assignment that I Wanted an improved mark on. The teacher had noted more needed to happen so I had the two male characters fall in love at the end. He immediately failed the paper because he believes homosexuality is a sin. He wont let me change it back. FML

leafs8fan - 27/04/2016 20:45 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my mother who knows nothing about technology, asked why the T.V. turned off. She then yelled at me for turning the T.V. back on. FML

Closeted - 27/04/2016 20:33 - United States - Boerne

Today, I was in a restaurant eating dinner with my stepdad when a gay waiter served us. As soon as the waiter left, my stepdad went on a thirty minute rant about how homosexuality is worse than murder. I guess now is not the time to come out. FML

underpaid - 27/04/2016 20:29 - United States - Chicago

Today, my bosses have been stealing my overtime hours because they're 'broke'. My bosses are my parents, and they've had three vacations this year already. The only reason I'm working so much is to save up to move away and find another job. FML

Anonymous - 27/04/2016 20:24 - United States - Salina

Today, everyone in my orchestra and my schools band is going on a trip to Disney world to play there, except me even though my parents promised me I would get to go if we had the money to pay for it, we do but because depression and anxiety they don't think exists has caused my grades to slip I don't get to go FML

shit happens - 27/04/2016 20:11 - United States - Hialeah

Today, I was super excited about going on a date with the guy I'm really into . I ended up having some really bad food while hanging out with him . my stomach began to make noises . As I ran to the bathroom I shit myself . I waited in the stall and eventually he left thinking I ditched.

YandereBitch - 27/04/2016 20:10 - United States - Riverside

Today, i attempted to break up with my girlfriend. First she accused me of cheating, then said shed think about it, and then decided she couldnt (and wouldnt) let me go. Also, even if i break up with her for real, everyone will be mad at me for "breaking her heart". FML

why - 27/04/2016 19:38 - United States

Today, I woke up to my son stuffing toilet paper down the back of his pants, when I asked why he responded with "I don't have to wipe this way" He's sixteen. What type of idiot am I raising? FML.

MBrabs1996 - 27/04/2016 17:06 - United States - Norwich

Today, I realized how much I hate my job when I prayed to get into a car accident on my way to work. FML.

prettysureitsabiohazardnow - 27/04/2016 15:14 - United States - Herndon

Today, I looked through our fridge in the garage for snacks. I found a big punch bowl, but when I pulled off the foil wrapping, I was greeted with an entire ecosystem of mold. Mother said she planned on throwing it out, but never got to it. Turns out it's been there since Thanksgiving. Of 2015. FML

babymama727 - 27/04/2016 14:27 - United States - Spokane

Today, after packing up almost our entire apartment because we're supposed to move in 2 days, our mortgage broker told us we won't be able to move into our new house for another week because he didn't do the right paperwork. We now have to unpack half the boxes so we can survive til then. FML

shorty?? - 27/04/2016 12:17 - United States - Sanford

Today, my Indian friend called me a midget. After voicing my displeasure at him, he then told me he was going to start "sarcastically" calling me tall to make me feel better. FML

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EdTheGent - 27/04/2016 11:53 - Jordan

Today, my father crashed into my car while it was parked behind his, he doesn't have insurance & refused to pay for damages because he insists i'm stupid since i parked in his blindspot.FML

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MotherOfPizza - 27/04/2016 11:24 - United States - Cookeville

Today, I was playing with my vicious cat who starting to attack me violently. later on that day, my mom notice the scratches. She accused me of cutting myself and set me up for a therapist that costed a lot of money, infact. The money she was going to use was the money to buy my car tomorrow. FML

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Moskaaa7 - 27/04/2016 10:53 - Netherlands - Nijmegen

Today, my menstrual hormones caused me to burst out in tears when I failed to fold my shirt correctly. FML

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pelisse - 27/04/2016 10:47 - Australia - Perth

Today, I went to the hospital to visit my mum who was undergoing massive surgery. The surgeon who did the worked on her approached myself, and my older sister and said; "I'm so sorry for your loss..." Holding back tears as he laughed and said, "just kidding." Totally inappropriate. FML.

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Foxxistar19 - 27/04/2016 10:36 - Romania

Today, I was on a date with this guy I really like. Everything went well, one thing led to another... it led me rushing to the toilet with severe diarrhea. I think he heard my uncontrollable farting. FML

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BreastCancerStroke - 27/04/2016 10:26 - United States - Kansas City

Today, my girlfriend is mad at me for not going to watch her sister's swim meet. I'm with my mother in the hospital. She has discovered today that she has stage 4 breast cancer that is likely in her lymph nodes, as she is pregnant with what could've been my new baby twin sisters. FML

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Anonymous - 27/04/2016 10:18 - United States - Marlborough

Today, I had a fever of 104 degrees (Fahrenheit). As a result, I stayed home from work. I took a photo of my thermometer as proof to my boss that I had an excuse for missing work. He emailed me back, saying that he didn't believe me and that I was fired. FML.

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ScaredSleepless - 27/04/2016 10:16 - United States - Richmond

Today, I'm too scared to fall asleep because my two month old has a cold and keeps gasping for breath in her sleep, and even if I do manage to get some shut eye my other daughter (a two year old) makes sure to wake me up by randomly screaming in her sleep. FML

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Latter - 27/04/2016 10:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I have a 104 fever and in school why? because I can't stay at home for 2 days straight. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, we're starting group projects in my English class. One of my group members hasn't shown up to class all semester, and the other is an exchange student who can't speak English very well. Guess who's doing all of the work on their own… FML

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Today, I went for an eye exam. The doctor asked me to read the chart on the wall and without even thinking about it, I started to call out the letters using the NATO phonetic alphabet. Nope, my time in the military has had absolutely no effect on me. FML

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Today, on the way home from a night out, I crossed the main road in my town via the traffic lights. As I got to the other side, a guy turned to his two friends and 'whispered' with a look of disgust, "I would've run that one over." Thanks. FML

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Today, a month after our breakup, my ex sent me a glorious butt pic. This was followed up with, "Wrong person, please delete that." I asked her for two years to send me sexy pictures, and she always refused, saying it was "too slutty" for her. FML

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Today, my dad caught me having sex with my secret boyfriend, so he threw him naked into the street. I’m 28 years-old and it’s my house. This kind of bullshit is exactly the reason I kept my boyfriend a secret and why I got a mortgage I can barely afford, just so I didn’t live with my dad anymore. FML

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Today, I'm so out of shape, I started wheezing on my way to check my mailbox. Not my physical mailbox, either; my email inbox on the phone I'd left on the table at the bottom of the stairs. FML

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