Your everyday life stories

Stigmamma - 29/04/2016 12:31 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I decided to take my 4yo for a picnic on the beach. On the way, an SUV slams into the back of my car, denting my bumper and scaring my daughter. After comforting her and swapping details with the other driver, we finally got to the beach. Five minutes later, it started raining. FML.

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The Mistress - 29/04/2016 12:21 - Malaysia - Petaling Jaya

Today, I found out that my so-called "divorced" boyfriend is still married, by stalking his "ex"-wife's Instagram. FML

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gingerlover01 - 29/04/2016 12:18 - United States

Today, my family kept me up until three in the morning screaming at me then got mad I was up so late. FML

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Thelonelydino - 29/04/2016 12:03 - United States

Today, like every other day, my boyfriend rather have sex with his hand than sex with me. FML

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CrapBerry - 29/04/2016 11:49 - United States - Charleston

Today, I'm the only one in my school who owns and uses a BlackBerry. Teachers included. FML

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anon - 29/04/2016 11:37 - United States - Kokomo

Today, I realized that I need to rethink buying shirts that are a little tight on me when a 7 year old girl told me it looked like my shirt was crushing me. FML

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meow - 29/04/2016 11:36 - United States - Charleston

Today, even my cat wouldn't hang around me. FML

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jephte00 - 29/04/2016 11:32 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was playing truth or dare with my colleagues, my girlfriend included she was chosen and we said truth. She said im breaking up with you and promptly left. FML

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ClearFavoritism - 29/04/2016 11:24 - United States - Charleston

Today, my little brother cut up my $60 headphones when they finally came in the mail because "He's younger and he gets more privileges." My mom agreed with him. FML

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rboucher5 - 29/04/2016 11:07 - United States - Cheshire

Today, we got to touch a pig heart in school, their was a squeamish girl behind me and when the heart was next to her she projectile vomited on me, FML

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Anonymous - 29/04/2016 11:05 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my boss called me into his office to discuss why I am so unhappy in my new job. In summary - if I look for a new job his boss will destroy my career in this town. Knowing the people involved now, I actually believe him. Consider my morale lifted and me motivated to stay. FML.

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anonymous - 29/04/2016 10:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text that read "I can't handle the stress of being a father" I don't have any kids nor am I pregnant. But apparently his other girlfriend is. FML

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forgotten granddaughter - 29/04/2016 10:52 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my grandfather called me after not contacting for almost ten years and told me that he wants to bring us to a buffet. It took him the news of my family moving to Australia to call and I'd be lying if I say I remember what he looks like at all. FML

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tizzleT - 29/04/2016 10:46 - United States - Phoenix

Today,I was at school and I had to sneeze. After that happened I had a slight pain in the back of my head. After school I went to the doctor and they said I popped 3 blood vessels in the back of my head,

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Anonymous - 29/04/2016 10:42 - United States - Delaware

Today, I found out that my nausea is caused by the medication I have to take. The medication I have been taking for years and must continue taking in order to function as a human being. FML

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Stoogey - 29/04/2016 10:40 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, whilst at work, I got really excited about finding a full bottle of cleaning spray to clean my register. A few moments later I came to the depressing realization that I got excited over cleaning spray. FML.

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Anonymous - 29/04/2016 10:35

Today, I have a 8,000 word project overdue by about a month that I had the entire year to do. My current word-count is 1689 words. If I don't hand it in within the next 4 1/2 hours, I fail my project. FML

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alr158 - 29/04/2016 10:21 - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, I forgot that I was sharing my screen with my boss whilst on on a conference call. I got a bit bored and started doing some online shopping - he watched me buy maternity clothes, bras and giant panties. I've not disclosed pregnancy yet due to upcoming promotion. FML

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a faker - 29/04/2016 09:42 - United States - Camp Hill

Today, at work a small political discussion took place in the break room. I said I hate Trump but would take him over Hillary. My boss sent me to an unpaid mandatory racial sensitivity class on my weekend because voting for trump would clearly make me a racist. FML

B - 29/04/2016 09:27 - United States - Hammond

Today, my father let me know he won't be making it to my wedding because my fiancé is black and he assumed I was just "going through a phase". FML

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Celestialfur - 29/04/2016 09:12 - United States - Miami

Today, I found out my girlfriend has a beastiality fetish...After letting her dogsit for a week. FML

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TreyaMarie - 29/04/2016 09:03 - United States - North Hills

Today, I went to the zoo with some friends. We went and saw the gorillas. Apparently, the gorilla was in heat and tried to grab me and take me as its mate. After that, a giraffe tried to eat my head. Needless to day, never going to the San Diego Zoo ever again. FML.

Mauskau - 29/04/2016 08:47 - United Kingdom - Slough

Today, it's my 20th birthday. I've also spent 3 hours on the toilet after only 3 hours of sleep. It's only 9am. FML

myearsarebleeding - 29/04/2016 08:28 - France

Today, I am stuck on an eight hour long train trying to revise for my exams. The man sitting behind me is snoring so loud that I can't even hear myself think. FML

whereforeartthounotsilent - 29/04/2016 07:34 - United States

Today, I experienced Exploding Head Syndrome induced by tinnitus in the middle of the night. It felt and sounded like a million bees trying to attack me through a helmet of tinfoil for a few hours. FML

buttsmcgee - 29/04/2016 07:22 - United States - Astoria

Today, it's my anniversary. We went out of town to relax without the kids but now I can't sleep because of my husband's horrible snoring. Even ear plugs don't help. FML

Anonymous - 29/04/2016 07:19 - United States - Spokane

Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house because I don't wake up early enough to take my morning meds, apparently 4:00AM is the perfect time to wake up and take them, FML

WhyIsMyBedSoCloseToMyWall - 29/04/2016 07:16 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, when I was getting out of bed I surprise farted, fell on the floor laughing and banged my head on the wall. FML

depressed - 29/04/2016 07:10 - United States - Coventry

Today, I was so sick of not getting any e-mails, that I borrowed a few books from the library, just so they can e-mail me when they're due. FML

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robdewg - 29/04/2016 07:08 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, after weeks of trying to convince me she's 'just a friend' I walked in on my fiance of 5 years naked with his other girl. FML.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I spent four hours at the ER because I had a miscarriage. The father of the baby was being sweet and supportive while I was there and checked in on me after I got home. Six hours after we found out we lost our baby, he asked for a threesome. He still doesn’t understand what’s wrong. FML

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Today, I found out that the love of my life, who I've been going out with for two weeks only, asked me out because he lost a bet. Apparently I'm the punishment for not being able to eat 10 hot dogs. FML

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Today, while my nephews got ready for school, my boyfriend walked into the bathroom to ask me if he could accompany us to the bus stop. Unfortunately, I couldn’t hold my diarrhea anymore. As he was asking, I began to loudly relieve myself. He looked at me in shock and just said, “Oh okay, I’ll fuck off now.” FML

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Today, at the store, I heard a kid complaining about getting braces. While I was saying "Thank you" and "Bye" to the cashier, his grandma must've seen my slightly crooked teeth. She pointed and said, "Without them, your teeth will look bad like that man's!" Everyone around looked at me. FML

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Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

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Today, my friend insisted I wear her brand new hoodie for the day. When I gave it back after a few hours, she said she just needed it stretched and couldn't find someone fatter to stretch it for her. FML

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