mattabplanalp

122

Honolulu, USA
38
Thursday 07 May 1987

Mattabplanalp

Well, I joined the army a little while ago and here I am, in Hawaii. I\'ve had an awesome time so far and hope it keeps going smoothly. What could be better?

Mattabplanalp -

Mattabplanalp

lovers5201

Mattabplanalp

terrible person - 04/04/2011 09:29

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to break down and cry because his mother hates me for unknown reasons. I walked in, gave him a long hug, and started sobbing. I then saw his mother. She was visiting him to complain about how terrible a person I am. FML

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Revenge

Fcuked - 23/03/2011 04:40 - New Zealand

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

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Anon. - 01/03/2011 23:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

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Blackout

stupiddrunk - - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck, and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

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Way to beat the "weird dad" allegations

Anonymous - - United Kingdom

Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML

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