Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML
Today, it's my 18th birthday. I was telling my friends a story when my mom started talking. I simply said 'Mom...' so she'd realize she interrupted me. She gave me the finger and called me rude in front of all my friends. FML
Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML
Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML
Today, I was jogging, and I saw a little boy walking. Crying and all alone. Thinking that he was probably lost, I asked to him with my sweetest voice: 'Hi there, did you lose somebody?' He screamed terrified and ran away. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML
Today, at work, my manager fell in front of an entire lobby full of people on a wet floor. I'm the only one who burst out laughing. Turns out she has a broken arm. FML
Today, a cop almost rear-ended my car, slammed on the gas with no warning, swerved around me, flipped me the bird, then cut me off and then drove a full ten miles under the speed limit. When I changed lanes to overtake him, he pulled me over for road rage. FML
Today, I came through a DUI checkpoint. The trooper noticed some donuts I had. He asked, "Are those donuts?" Jokingly, I replied, "Yes. Why? Are you going to confiscate them?" He didn't see the humor and pulled me off to the side to have a team search my truck. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
